Tik that's short enough ta Tok

TikTok seems to be where all the eyeballs are at these days.

So I wrote something sexy and short enough for tiktok.

One half of a page! It's very... "spy vs spy"

SpyVsSpy.pdf

drive.google.com

 

[sfoster]

actually even with that second account, when i created it the video shot up to 11 views pretty fast.
it was when i deleted it and readded it a couple times that it got stuck at 0

 

[indietalk]

You should have just left it and moved on to another video. You're thinking too much about it.

 

[sfoster]

You should have just left it and moved on to another video. You're thinking too much about it.

I didn't work on this thing for that long to leave it at 0 views.
no rush i can try again with a dif account later now that i know the system better

 

[Nate North]

As I, and more recently buddy have pointed out, posting videos on social media is somewhat random and counter intuitive. I'm great at spotting patterns normally, but this pattern is too stupid for me to read. Here's a video where a guy flew to the congo and filmed a new species of animal that lives inside active volcanoes. 4 views. Here's an animated explanation of the formula for cold fusion that took 10 people a year to make. 7 views. Here's a guy who found a cardboard box in his yard while he was drunk, labeled the video "BOXXXX in YARD WTF" 41,643,211 views. It's a 7 second video, and the guy barely knows how to hold his phone. Drunken box finder guy now has 3 million dollars in revenue, 16,000 fans, 761 monthly patreon subscribers.

In example, SP has 0 patreon supporters, and the other day, I saw a video where a guy cut a 10 second clip out of a Frasier episode, no edits, no commentary, just recorded a clip off of cable. He had 98 monthly supporters.

Ranting aside, you might try priming the pump a bit, via paid advertising, just to escape the crushing vicious cycle at the bottom of social media views. No one is watching because no one is watching because no one is watching - infinity. Get on the other side of the divide, and suddenly it's all downhill.

I've spent a long time trying to figure out this madness, and I think a lot of it boils down to a local social network. Kids in a metro school system have a built in network of 5000 people that all know each other and talk every day. One publishes a video, and the whole high school hears about it. 5k views the first day, and you're off to the races. An adult person with 10 friends, who are all dealing with jobs and kids, maybe they get around to your video on day 4 or 5. The program sees 3 views from you, and one a day from your friends for 5 days, and it labels you unpopular and insignificant.

I'm sure tiktok has differences, but from what I understand, on youtube, if you don't get 4,000 views on day one, you can forget it, they just stop showing it to new people. That's a real number apparently, 4k views from your local friends, or no one else ever sees it. I've seen a teenager post a 10 second video of unreal engine, and it's got 4 milllion hits, if I posted a 2 hour movie, equivalent or better in every way, 31 hits.

Also, IT is right, you are sweating a one minute video way too hard. Regardless of quality, social media is a volume and consistency based format I think. 300 bad videos a year > 4 excellent ones.

 

[indietalk]

It's like, if you care about production value, and mixing levels, and songs not being off by a millisecond, or ending early, or weird glitches, use Vimeo. Because all of this stuff happens in these apps and even YT to some degree. I was pissed at some of my reels where the song was a hair longer than in the preview so you'd hear a vocal line start for a split second instead of a perfect ending spot, and then there were some weird skips in some, but i just stopped caring. It's supposed to be like that. Informal, not a film festival. So you either have to lower your expectations, your production value, or both to remain sane.

 

[sfoster]

Respectfully i disagree with everyone here.
This site is so BUGGY it literally couldn't even find my account!

Under conditions like those, I have no confidence it's working correctly with ZERO views on a video.
It should at least get a single view, but yeah with a app working that poorly i just have to assume the whole thing crapped out on me

 

[indietalk]

Respectfully i disagree with everyone here.
This site is so BUGGY it literally couldn't even find my account!

I said glitch, you said bug lol we agree here. Part of the point. You'll put tons of effort in again and be pissed off at a different bug. I mean if that is okay with you, go for it.

 

[indietalk]

What happened with this?

 

[sfoster]

What happened with this?

sent the actress a message if she wants to do the pt 2, waiting to hear back..

I have some other ideas too for lower effort more standard funny tiktoks, maybe when i have more content i will try again with a new account

 

[Nate North]

Here's a sketch for you.

I call it, "a fox education"

you go to wall mart, wearing head to toe jungle camouflage, with an inflatable pool floatie around your neck.

When you get to the door, you can't get in, because the pool floatie wont fit through the door. just keep walking into the door until security arrives, and you've backed up a crowd of angry people behind you.

When the security people ask you to leave, demand to see the law that says you can't wear a 5ft inflatable duck into a store, and degenerate into an angry rant about the constitution.

They will ask you to leave again, explaining that you are blocking the way for sane people.

Calm down, and explain to them in a condescending voice that the democrats are helping the chinese move fentanyl through mexico to poison unborn babies under the supervision of hunter biden and jaden smith, and that you are simply wearing the pool floatie to protect yourself from the "gay democrat chinese mexican communist space lasers"

As security drags you away, scream "It's the vaccines that started covid in the first place, Every democrat wears a secret keychain that opens the back of voting machines, and they are selling your DNA to chinese labs so they can make clones to replace us with commies, one by one."

As you are dragged into a squad car, show a close up shot of a random person in the crowd. They fish around under their shirt collar for a moment, and pull out a key on a necklace, with a tiny blinking LED light on it. They whisper into the key "we have a security breach, he knows everything"

The shot widens to show that several people in the crowd have the same face. 70's sci fi horror music cue, with a slow drone shot zooming out, and you're golden.

Fin!

There's your million hit video.

 

[sfoster]

Here's a sketch for you.

I call it, "a fox education"

you go to wall mart, wearing head to toe jungle camouflage, with an inflatable pool floatie around your neck.

When you get to the door, you can't get in, because the pool floatie wont fit through the door. just keep walking into the door until security arrives, and you've backed up a crowd of angry people behind you.

When the security people ask you to leave, demand to see the law that says you can't wear a 5ft inflatable duck into a store, and degenerate into an angry rant about the constitution.

They will ask you to leave again, explaining that you are blocking the way for sane people.

Calm down, and explain to them in a condescending voice that the democrats are helping the chinese move fentanyl through mexico to poison unborn babies under the supervision of hunter biden and jaden smith, and that you are simply wearing the pool floatie to protect yourself from the "gay democrat chinese mexican communist space lasers"

As security drags you away, scream "It's the vaccines that started covid in the first place, Every democrat wears a secret keychain that opens the back of voting machines, and they are selling your DNA to chinese labs so they can make clones to replace us with commies, one by one."

As you are dragged into a squad car, show a close up shot of a random person in the crowd. They fish around under their shirt collar for a moment, and pull out a key on a necklace, with a tiny blinking LED light on it. They whisper into the key "we have a security breach, he knows everything"

The shot widens to show that several people in the crowd have the same face. 70's sci fi horror music cue, with a slow drone shot zooming out, and you're golden.

Fin!

There's your million hit video.

I think you're entirely missing the point of what i am trying to do, which is extremely short videos

 

[Nate North]

Ok, let's try again.

"the robbery"

A meth addict approaches an ATM machine with a claw hammer. He looks to check that the coast is clear, and brings the hammer down hard on the cash dispenser. The hammer bounces back and hits him in the forehead, knocking him unconscious. The police show up and drag him into a squad car.

The two police conversate in the car.

"third one today"

"who's idea was it to put an ATM on the front porch of a meth house anyway"

They bag the hammer and throw it in the trunk, which is filled with hammers in bags.

I think that could be less than a minute.

 

[sfoster]

Ok, let's try again.

"the robbery"

A meth addict approaches an ATM machine with a claw hammer. He looks to check that the coast is clear, and brings the hammer down hard on the cash dispenser. The hammer bounces back and hits him in the forehead, knocking him unconscious. The police show up and drag him into a squad car.

The two police conversate in the car.

"third one today"

"who's idea was it to put an ATM on the front porch of a meth house anyway"

They bag the hammer and throw it in the trunk, which is filled with hammers in bags.

I think that could be less than a minute.

could be entertaining to watch, no way in hell am i putting together a squad car, 2 police outfits, an ATM on a house porch and dozens of hammers.

i think youve been using virtual assets for too long lol

I didn't even pay the actors gas money for this last film

 

[sfoster]

Here's one of my favorite ideas, to give an example, i think it will do great on tiktok

Shot 1: Woman passionately recieves kisses on her neck
Shot 2: Man grimaces and fumbles with her bra strap

Play on repeat

 

[Nate North]

So you're thinking almost vine or GIF territory.

Shot 1 a person stands at the counter of a pawn shop, and points excitedly at a David Hasselhoff "hooked on a feeling" poster on the wall behind the counter.

Shot 2 the shopkeeper looks up at the poster then back at the customer, and then slaps him.

Shot 3 the customer says, "yeah, that's fair" and walks away

 

[indietalk]

Quantity over quality, just get posting. Some will be dumb, some will resonate. Like, just post. And post the one you deleted. I don't get it.

 

[Nate North]

"Son you just need to be realistic, and find a real job"

kid standing there with a box with a single red button on top.

"you just don't get me, I've got real talent, and some day, I'm going to be a famous musician like Deadmouse"

he presses the red button, and a single bass kick drum sounds.

 

[sfoster]

So you're thinking almost vine or GIF territory.

Nope im thinking TIKTOK

It sounds like you have spent no time on the app, here i'll show you one

theres tons of differnet trends and they're all associated with a song

 

[Nate North]

so this is a six second video, conveying a vibe or moment. How is that different than vine? Same principle I think.

I do get your intent a bit more now. Obviously I've seen plenty of these, just didn't know that's what you were going for.

I think the gold standard for these videos is creating moments that feel relatable. The video you posted is a good example, the music is a perfect fit for this exact stupid moment that has happened to everyone. (until usb-c which fixed it forever)

 

[indietalk]

so this is a six second video, conveying a vibe or moment. How is that different than vine? Same principle I think.

Because it's TikTok. It's the most popular social platform for this style, so you really don't need to compare it to anything unless you've never heard of it. I get what @sfoster is saying here. It's like he is saying he wants to buy a Lamborghini, and you are saying, oh, so kind of like a Ferrari. And sfoster is like, "Um, no, a Lambo!"