satisfaction

LastSunsetFilms

LastSunsetFilms

sorry, idk if this belongs here, or even on the forum. but i was curious to know your thoughts.

who actually feels any satisfaction after completing a project, big or small. i'm still a noob, a one man crew, and everything is just about learning, so i'm bound to make mistakes, many mistakes. it's hard to show people your mistakes, especially when you know they are mistakes and they will only take glee in pointing them out.

why do you do this? how much of your heart do you put into a project? or is it just a job? a hobby? fun? a process? art?

how do you feel when it's over?

i don't feel any satisfaction at all. i just look at my failures and mistakes. to me it's like getting drunk and doing something stupid. you wake up and say 'never again!' after each of my 3 short films so far, i say that's it, i don't want to do this any more. then i 'sober up' and realise it's not an option really, i have to do this.

after each film i feel more depressed than happy, i question as to why the f i'm doing this. i dont know why yet, but still continue....
 
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I can't get no.

Sincerely, i believe you have to possess the drive to overcome the preliminary period of "Finding your feet" in the trade. It's a craft like any other, unless in scarce, unique cases, you tend to evolve over time rather than arrive the finished package instantaniously.

The question is purely yours, you say you tend not to enjoy the process of showing others your work. This could be mere embarresment on the general scale, simply related to the craft itself. As opposed to your work being the subject of that embarresment.

I would say you're striving too hard, and not one to believe that "Slow and steady wins the race". In this case, to become an accomplishment director, writer, sound artist, Foley etc. Any of these demand repetition, and strenious desire to allow your craft and methods to grow.

We all, here at IT, could tell you of a thousand "First film" experiences, to what emotion would accompany that tale? Embarresment. True. Followed by the mentioning of its importance.

Any step made, is one of "Worth".

The question seems to be of your enjoyment.
 
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When you're doing it all alone, it's a high pressure job; you're much less likely to be satisfied because you realise the responsibility is all yours. I bet if you worked as part of a larger crew whom had more experience, you'd be much more satisfied after (if it's any good).
 
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What's with all the self hate kicking around right now? Your inner critic is a real weiner. If I was you I'd be like "hey buddy, how 'bout you shut your trap?" Mmm.
Why do you say you have to make films? If you're not enjoying it, why are you doing it? It's not exactly a money train.

To answer your questions, I've never filmed anything, but I've written a lot of different things and every time I finish something I pretty much die of happiness. Wanna know how much of my complete finished projects I would be willing to show the general public? Zero. I may not be too proud of most of them, but I'm damn proud that I managed to finish something, anything. And going back and reading all my old stuff has helped me identify the mistakes I made and helped me avoid making them again.

From what I understand, film making is just like anything else in life- you're not just born knowing how to do it, you can't just puke out a masterpiece. It takes time and effort and many stumbles. The important thing is to get back up. If you truly love something, you will do anything for it.

That's just my thoughts. And once again I've written a great big message that doesn't really answer the original post properly. :/
 
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yeah, it wasn't really about me being a weiner. just sharing my experience so far and wondering how other people feel about finishing something and putting it out there. if they have doubt, how they react to criticism
what motivates you? money? art? process? etc. i am very self critical and i get pissed off at myself when it doesn't turn out how i want. but i'm still not sure what keeps me going.

also i am very patient, but i started this at 32 so maybe i realise its maybe already too late to achieve what i want to?
 
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It's your mindset. You will never please everyone. No project will ever be perfect.
I do a lot of different things in my studio, not all film related, and the one constant that I have learned over the years is that everyone is an art critique after the fact.

Just by doing a project you believe in, you've already done more than 90% of the critics out there. If you're not making mistakes, you're not learning... and what fun would that be? Go make mistakes. Learn to listen for the differences in random opinion and constructive criticism.

It's my philosophy that art is the difference between what you see in your mind and what is actually created. If you accept that as part of the process you'll stumble upon things that are better than you imagined.
 
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LastSunsetFilms said:
yeah, it wasn't really about me being a weiner. just sharing my experience so far and wondering how other people feel about finishing something and putting it out there. if they have doubt, how they react to criticism
what motivates you? money? art? process? etc. i am very self critical and i get pissed off at myself when it doesn't turn out how i want. but i'm still not sure what keeps me going.

also i am very patient, but i started this at 32 so maybe i realise its maybe already too late to achieve what i want to?
Click to expand...

It's never too late.
 
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Meh, I don't get that deep into it. I do the best I can and understand there will be mistakes. Try to minimize them, and do the absolute best you can. Then move along.
 
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why do you do this?
Click to expand...

Because I love it.

how much of your heart do you put into a project?
Click to expand...

All of it. Well, some of the time...

is it just a job? a hobby? fun? a process? art?
Click to expand...

It's my job. It is alternately fun, boring, exciting and frustrating. Some jobs - actually a large percentage - are just for the money; I get the most satisfaction from the "good" projects which have a decent budget and a reasonable time line.

how do you feel when it's over?
Click to expand...

Again, it depends upon the job.

You have to understand that for me this is a business. I take on clients to make money. I take on a lot of jobs so that I can pay the bills. But how many people can work at something they love to do? Quite often I am polishing turds, but even those jobs get the best I have within their budget and time frame constraints. And I take great satisfaction from the jobs where the client put a lot of thought, time and effort into their work (like the feature I completed back in June).

As far as your personal situation is concerned your current satisfaction has to come from what new lessons you have learned and knowing that you learned it, and looking at your collected works and savoring the good moments. And go ahead, let others tear your work apart; that's a part of the learning process as well (just wait until the critics get ahold of you!). I meet with my peers several times a year - we are all experienced working professionals - and we rip each others work apart; it helps you keep your perspective and your ego in check. Besides, one mark of the true professional is knowing that there is always more to learn; another is the ability to learn from the mistakes of others.

So go back and watch your stuff, cringe a lot, but also acknowledge the occasional "oooooh; that was good!"
 
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Probably one of the hardest things to learn is objectivity - the ability to step away from your work and look/listen as a member of the audience, not the creator.

Just a quick anecdote...

For my 22nd birthday (wow, that was a long time ago) my wife took me to see a band at a concert club we went to once in a while. The band played their instruments and sang okay, nothing special, but the songs were great and their energy was infectious. The name of the band was REM, and nobody knew who they were at the time, but they eventually became on of the powerhouse bands of the New wave era.

The moral of the story is that technical proficiency isn't everything, writing and enthusiasm count for a lot as well. Focus on your successes, build on them and continue to improve your technical chops.
 
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Actually JUST (since my last post) had a discussion with a painter friend on this topic. I think as filmmakers we have one advantage (at least some of us).

If you are a poet, or a painter, or a sculpter, it's much easier to think "god I hate this, it's terrible", and throw it in a drawer to never see the light of day again. I however, spent close to $4000 of my own money on my last film. I HAVE to let it run it's course, I HAVE to enter it in festivals, screen it for audiences, and let the chips fall where they may. Otherwise I might as well have piled that money in the middle of the floor and set it on fire. This forces you to get that outside opinion on the work, stops you from hiding it.
 
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With sympathy..

Im going through a similar phase, but Im mostly over it now. I had to face up my own inadequacy as a film maker.. sure "intellectually" I know Im total noob amateur filmmaker, not even in the same league with "those" guys.. and that was fine..

The whole "those" guys group was beyond my circle, until I did a project with other people. Seems my jumping in and doing a 48hour project brought me into contact with others, that as it turns out, are doing MUCH greater things than I can even contemplate!

What used to be a safely distant amorphous group called "those guys" are now part of my personal circle and I have to face that I don't have those same resources, experience and skills and that comparatively I suck..

It knocked me down for a week or so.. but, Im over it. "Those Guys" are great, they deserve all the success they have. And when I HAVE SOME, Ill deserve it too..
 
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I didn't mean you're a weiner, I meant your inner critic is a weiner. Everyone's is. Those little voices that bring you down and tell you you're not good enough and whatever else, every one has them. And they are weiners. <3
 
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No way, man. Everything I make is awesome.

Except for the stuff that sucks.

Can an old dog learn new tricks? Some people seem to think so. Are you one of those people?

I hate to play armchair psychologist, but you've kind of plopped yourself on our collective armchair, so here I go:

Some of us tend to be overconfident, some of us underconfident, but we all swing back and forth, to some degree. In my opinion, if you find yourself constantly being let down by your own work, it's probably not a problem with the work but with how you perceive it (and yourself).

Eh, regardless, I'd like to echo the sentiment that we'd like to see your work. POST IT!
 
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you've already seen and commented on my last short film cracker. i just wanted to know about others experiences rather than a psycho analysis really.

but here is what ive done in the last 6-7 months
http://www.youtube.com/user/lastsunsetfilm

i think it's the ones that don't get made seem to be the most time consuming and draining. anyhoo i decided that my next short has to be good enough for some smaller comps and fests at least so i'll be concentrating on that for the next 6 months or so.
 
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