satisfaction

[LastSunsetFilms]

sorry, idk if this belongs here, or even on the forum. but i was curious to know your thoughts.

who actually feels any satisfaction after completing a project, big or small. i'm still a noob, a one man crew, and everything is just about learning, so i'm bound to make mistakes, many mistakes. it's hard to show people your mistakes, especially when you know they are mistakes and they will only take glee in pointing them out.

why do you do this? how much of your heart do you put into a project? or is it just a job? a hobby? fun? a process? art?

how do you feel when it's over?

i don't feel any satisfaction at all. i just look at my failures and mistakes. to me it's like getting drunk and doing something stupid. you wake up and say 'never again!' after each of my 3 short films so far, i say that's it, i don't want to do this any more. then i 'sober up' and realise it's not an option really, i have to do this.

after each film i feel more depressed than happy, i question as to why the f i'm doing this. i dont know why yet, but still continue....

 

[Uranium City]

Any artist that is completely satisfied with their work has ceased learning how to grow.

 

[Buddy Greenfield]

Striving for a plateau in creativity can be a grind.

You climb a mountain of disappointments, insecurities, inabilities, technical short comings, financial limitations, the younger, the smarter, the richer, the luckier and those bastards that are just more talented. You take one misstep and slide halfway back down right on your chin!

But when you struggled back to your feet and start again you’re a climber, and not everyone is one, some can’t even hack that 1st step yet wish they could -some dream they could.

Even if you come to find there is no peak, but only the climb, then take solace in what you’ve overcome to get there, ‘cus no matter what there’s always the view.

-Thanks-

 

[Cracker Funk]

Any artist that is completely satisfied with their work has ceased learning how to grow.

Well said.

 

[Cracker Funk]

you've already seen and commented on my last short film cracker. i just wanted to know about others experiences rather than a psycho analysis really.

but here is what ive done in the last 6-7 months
http://www.youtube.com/user/lastsunsetfilm

i think it's the ones that don't get made seem to be the most time consuming and draining. anyhoo i decided that my next short has to be good enough for some smaller comps and fests at least so i'll be concentrating on that for the next 6 months or so.

Oh yeah, the Halloween movie. My bad, I didn't make the connection. And, sorry for going off-track. To be honest, I think psychology is a bunch of crap, plus I know you're an adult, so I'm not trying to pick your brain too deeply. I just thought the insight might be meaningful; I hope I didn't offend.

Okay, so since I didn't completely answer your question (as far as experiences are concerned), here ya go -- I've felt a great sense of accomplishment with every single movie I've ever made. Even the failures. There are a couple that I don't like showing to people because I'm not so proud of them, but I still show them, because people want to see them, even if just to laugh at how stupid we all look. Even the movies that fell short of what I had envisioned still took an incredible amount of hard work to complete, and were valuable experiences to make.

In fact, I get quite a high when the product is completely finished, and typically celebrate to great ends. The reason I didn't share these experiences immediately is because I don't want to seem like I'm rubbing it in, or whatever, cuz my experiences are quite the opposite of yours.

Just keep making movies, man. There are many good things about the Halloween movie you posted, and I don't care that you're in your 30's (so am I, and wheatgrinder didn't start until he was like, 60 or something). I'll bet your experiences will change with time.

Hmm -- just thought of a comparison that might be nonsense, but might make sense. You know how weird it sounds to hear your recorded voice? You're like, "What, that's what I sound like? I sound like an idiot". The reason for this reaction is because when we hear ourselves talk, we're not hearing it as everyone else does, with the sound waves traveling from our mouth, through the air, to their ears. We do hear ourselves this way, but primarily we hear ourselves from the soundwaves traveling directly through our body, the vibrations of our vocal chords eventually finding their way to our ear drums.

Anyway, where I'm going with this is that if you hear your recorded voice often enough, or hear yourself through speakers, as you're talking, eventually, the voice you hear in your head blends together with the voice that everyone else hears. I'm a singer. I used to hate hate HATE the sound of my recorded voice, even though other people told me it was good. Eventually, I got used to hearing it the way they hear it. Does that make sense?

Maybe you're still viewing your movies only from your perspective? Like you, I'm my own harshest critic. Maybe your experiences will get better if you also are able to view your own work the way other people might see it? You've got many reasons to be proud of your work.

 

[LastSunsetFilms]

that's ok i wasn't offended, that's why i asked, so it's good that you feel like that after completing something. just thought it strange that i get more depressed than happy after a film. in fact only thing that made me smile was when some kids done a parody of one of my vids, that made happy.

yeah i get you, i do hate hearing my own voice, and i 'm not exactly an extrovert so i think i don't like people peering inside my brain, which is what i feel like when i put a film out.

anyhoo for the halloween film, i didnt use a script or anything and my fav bit was all improved so it was hardly going to be a masterpiece.

but its interesting to hear other peoples experiences so i don't mind putting myself up for analysis

 

[Alcove Audio]

just thought it strange that i get more depressed than happy after a film.

It's quite normal, kind of like postpartum depression.

You've revved yourself up for days/weeks/months, put everything you have into it and suddenly it's done. Now what? All of the fun and excitement is gone - yeah, admit it, you miss even the angst, frustrations and crisis', 'cause lots of us thrive on that crap; that's what makes us artists. You're addicted and you won't feel better until you get another fix; it's called starting your next project.

Hey, many of the Apollo astronauts went nuts - they dedicated their lives to reaching the moon, they got there and then what? At least you can make another film, they couldn't go to the moon again.