critique Critique my screenplay try

[Future_Screen]

https://www.dropbox.com/s/khmhbvr4aif4ehp/You’re fired.celtx?dl=0

 

[Quality]

The next line: "The room looked as if it was cut from a James Bond movie."

Maybe it is...

What does that even mean? Q's lab?

 

[mlesemann]

I rather like it - it's just a beginning, but you interested me.

There certainly are English issues, and some screenplay format issues. But I definitely like the eye color change at the end, which is what would keep me reading.

 

[directorik]

What does that even mean? Q's lab?

James Bond movies are universally known for their large
sets. Not just Q's lab. I think she paints a clear picture with
those two (actually three) sentences. I can picture the set
in my mind.

 

[indietalk]

I'm glad you can visualize that. Football is soccer in Europe, and the "stadium" includes the field AND seats, and two of them, well, if a room is that big.................................................. i quit lol!

 

[directorik]

I'm glad you can visualize that. Football is soccer in Europe, and the "stadium" includes the field AND seats, and two of them, well, if a room is that big.................................................. i quit lol!

I see the location description as under the purview of the
writer. If she sees the location as as big as two football
stadiums and qualifies that as being like a James Bond
movie I can picture that.

Going for the outlandish is the writers choice.

 

[sfoster]

You know there's a backstory behind that.

Yeah it's a great community of people here