archived-videos Power Up One Night Only

Wheat, I plan on giving this my undivided attention, but that is so not happen tonight. Maybe you'll keep it up another day or offer the password to IT premiere members?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!
 
I found it visually beautiful. Fantastic use of light.

The music, however, was repetitive, predictable, and musically uninteresting. Replace that and I think you'll really have something.
 
Wanted to see more of your art/work with Power Up, wheatgrinder.

Would not play -- could not view...

As much as I dislike YouTube image and audio quality, one can at least view what is there...
 
Very well done, Wheat! Beautiful images, effective FX, excellent set design and look. Really like the wooshy bits at 2:43 and 3:37. Those were cool. Visually top notch!
 
thanks for the love all..
@escher, I get your point on the music, and I am expecting an updated mix, but not much in the way of changes for this project.

@Ernest, this is all there is.

Further plans?
Ill do a few more tweaks here and there, or not. Ill submit this to a few festivals to establish an IMDB presence. After I'm finished with submitting to festivals, I release this into the wild permanently and drive viewers to an indieagogo page to beg some money for the next project. (Said project TBD)

Love is great and all, but feel free to lay on the criticism now that my ego is sufficiently inflated. Just now that Im not really expecting to make any changes, rather, I want to learn what can I do differently next time.

Things that I DON'T like..

Seems more style than substance, pretty to look at but falls short of big emotional impact I was hoping for.


The gradient banding on the shot where the light comes through the double doors drives me UP A FREAKING wall!

Burned a DVD version and it came out way saturated looking on the big TV!

Something about this just feels "over processed" like a prog metal recording from the '90's vs a classic Mutt Lange mix ala "Back In Black" !
 
wheatgrinder said:
@escher, I get your point on the music, and I am expecting an updated mix, but not much in the way of changes for this project.
Click to expand...

Seems more style than substance, pretty to look at but falls short of big emotional impact I was hoping for.
Click to expand...

I'll bet real money that if you got a better score that is dynamic and follows the emotional ups and downs of the visuals you'll have something an order of magnitude better on your hands. You're so close! :)



The gradient banding on the shot where the light comes through the double doors drives me UP A FREAKING wall!
Click to expand...

This is the curse of 8-bit color. We need to find a way to de-band video... maybe some kind of dithering? I'll keep looking into it.
 
Yeah, DEFINITELY use that as part of a campaign to fund something bigger (in that style? please?) I thought it did have a lot of emotional impact...again, "stunning" in every sense of the word! I do agree with escher that the music was a bit same-y. Definitely well produced, but because there were more arrangement variations than melodic variations, it made it feel a little like it was a video produced for the song, and not the other way around.

Anyway, once again, great work and look forward to seeing some more from you!
 
wheatgrinder said:
Seems more style than substance, pretty to look at but falls short of big emotional impact I was hoping for.
Click to expand...

Honestly, I'd have to agree with this. You're a visual perfectionist, and it shows. The photography, cc, sfx were outstanding. Nothing to criticize there at all. Expect a call from me when I need some vfx work. Seriously :)

But story-wise. I think you conveyed the emotional depth of what was going on, but I had almost no idea what was actually going on. Does that make sense? I got the vague impression that the girl had died and so the man Dr. Frankensteined (that's Frahnkensteened) her. At some later(?) point, she finds out about it and kills herself. But I was left feeling like I was missing something.

Just my honest critique, since you asked for it :) And really I'd be super proud if I had made it. It will definitely work for your crowd-funding purposes.
 
I'd like to say that it's pretty respectable that you can see certain things about your work that others do, and bring 'em up for conversation. Only way you're going to grow is to be that kind of filmmaker.

wheatgrinder said:
Things that I DON'T like..

Seems more style than substance, pretty to look at but falls short of big emotional impact I was hoping for.

....

Something about this just feels "over processed" like a prog metal recording from the '90's vs a classic Mutt Lange mix ala "Back In Black" !
Click to expand...

I've got a few thoughts about your short, wouldn't mind sharing them, but first have one question:

My understanding was that you set out to do something similar to another short film that was posted here a few months ago, one that was actually extremely well done for what it was. This short emulates it, but with a different aesthetic.

I remember your posts in that thread, gist of it was "This is cheap, I can do this too."

So the question is... do you feel you've accomplished the same level that they did?

Hopefully, that wasn't an inappropriate question! Thought it would be interesting to see what you felt about it overall in that light.

Dreadylocks said:
Honestly, I'd have to agree with this. You're a visual perfectionist, and it shows. The photography, cc, sfx were outstanding. Nothing to criticize there at all. Expect a call from me when I need some vfx work. Seriously :)

But story-wise. I think you conveyed the emotional depth of what was going on, but I had almost no idea what was actually going on. Does that make sense? I got the vague impression that the girl had died and so the man Dr. Frankensteined (that's Frahnkensteened) her. At some later(?) point, she finds out about it and kills herself. But I was left feeling like I was missing something.

Just my honest critique, since you asked for it :) And really I'd be super proud if I had made it. It will definitely work for your crowd-funding purposes.
Click to expand...

Honesty's the best policy. =D
 
Wheat- Your VFX and production design are terrific and you've come on massively in a very short space of time :)

There are things that I didn't really get about the short. Like Dready I'm not convinced that, had I not known about the project from script to screen, I would've really understood what was going on. I also think the music is too much. It would be nice (and I think it would add to the poignancy) if there were some moments of silence, as well as the music. It's a little too dramatic for my taste and sounds very much like it's being made by a computer (which, I guess, fits with the steampunk aesthetic).

But these are fairly little things when you've got as polished a product as that. I have no idea what your plans are but it might help to recognise your strengths and play to them particularly because the film looks great, the VFX are great and, as I mentioned before, the production design is sumptuous.
 
Two quibbles, one you can fix, the other not so much:

1) The lead's acting failed to pull me in. His facial expressions and body language were flat and uninspired. I didn't buy for a second that he was banging on the table in a fit of fury, rage, anger, sadness, anything. And if he's going to need a cane than be sure to make it look like he actually has problems walking or supporting his own weight. As it was he sorta limped around but I never got the sense that his leg/legs/back were causing much grief.

2) Definitely could be tightened and trimmed down. Too many long shots of the guy staring at the wall of FX. You're punch drunk with FX, wheat. Less is more. Bet you could easily get it down to 7 or even 6 minutes.

2 peanuts from this peanut gallery.
 
now thats more like it..

thank you sir, may I have another.. !!!

@Koli,
exactly right on point. I confess that I have AVOIDED that comparison. Right now, without having watched that short since I started this one, Id say I'm rather short of the quality of that piece.


I have lots of excuses for all ya'alls points.. but they are just that excuses..

which excuse is largely this..

Over confident planning, a screwed up shot list order and no story boards. I only got 50% of the shots on my list! I really needed to shoot for two days, but thought I could do it in one.

This is why the shots are long, I dont have any cut aways, variant angles or anything else to pick from. I had to use a take of just about EVERY SHOT I had in the can to get this much on the screen. For example, those little jump cuts at the beginning, are not just artistic, I got NOTHING to put in between three very similar takes, neither of which was good enough on its own to make the sequence... I had on the LIST, ECU's etc.. missed em all!

The vague story is sorta on purpose, sorta just happened.. Im cool with serendipity so I like to try and just see what happens. Maybe it let me down in this case..

In the script I have very detailed information conveyed in the flashbacks that describe exactly HOW she died and other details via printed words.. As I was editing, it just felt like I was CRAMMING EXPOSITION DOWN THE VIEWERS THROAT. I opted to just show her discovering that she was a "thing" of some type... this could be clearer no doubt, but I kinda like the "art house" feel that fell out the end of that process. It seems the chronology of events got tangled a bit with the flash backs. My wife was trying to explain the order of events as she interpreted them, not quite as I meant, but not completely unreasonable. This again sorta puts the whole piece more artsy fartsy then I had intended. Style over substance as I mentioned..


All that said, I still have pride and a sense of accomplishment and its not complete dodo.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top