Ok, heres my bit, Ill try and film it tonight..
INT. BASEMENT STUDIO
GORDAN, an overweight struggling 40 something year old filmmaker who lives with his aging mother, is sitting in front of a running video camera. His face is in shadow, he is brightly back lit.
GORDON
Hi everyone, welcome to the last installment of my video blog. If your watching this then my idea worked.. fat lot of good idll do me.. .
Anyway.
I just got back from wasting this entire day at the mall, watching movies at the cine-O-rama hyperplex, man I love the pop corn there! I know mom tries, but between the OldHimers and the bad vision, well, Ill just say eating moms corn and watching movies at home comes with certain "risks"
as I was saying.. my weekly unemployment check just about covers the tickets, jumbo corn, three hot dogs and a super drink.. so Its all good
.. anyway, if I dont seem my useal happy go-lukcy self, well i have a pretty F(@*(#$* good reason! The last movie I watched was that new..
GORDON'S MOM (OS)
Gordo, honey? Do you want potatoes with your meat loaf.. or would you rather have the Brussels sprouts you love so much.. ???
GORDON
Yelling towards the upper floor! Reaches towards the camera to turn it off..
MOM!!! SHUT UP!, Im trying to tape my VBLOG..YOU KNOW I HATE BRUSSELS SPROUTS.. DO WE HAVE ANY... .
CUT TO BLACK'
INT. BASEMENT STUDIO
Gordan is again siting in front of the camera...
GORDON
Sorry about that, Mom is having a bad day.. where was I.. ?? oh yeah..
Anyway..
Iv decided that I can never make a movie as good as that one..
What else is there to say... as a movie maker my self, I know a lot about making movies, and well, I know that I will NEVER make anything even close to as good as that movie.. so why try?....
Every Shot, PERFECT! F(*&(*@ PERFECT I tell you!
Invoking just the right amount of tension....and release..
You'd think from the trailers, "Oh Joy, another industrial hollowiered action extravaganza..." and, in some ways you'd be correct.. but its so much.. so much MORE than an action flick..
Take the way the characters grow and become what you hopped they could become...
the bad guy is SOOO BAD, you actually feel joy at his embracing of evil, but when the good guy wins, I swear it to you, HEAVEN opens up and the angelic choir sings glory, Hallelujah praises be to God.
And the special effects.. Don't get me started.. the effects were BETTER THAN REAL.. the CGI was genius, blended perfectly, In fact Im not sure they DIDNT kill 300 extras just to make this movie, if they did, it was worth it! Heck, Id be proud to have died in the service of making that film..
(Gordon grows still, contemplative..)
well.. as you will find out for your self, a guy like me, just cant compete, I don't even have the vision to imagine anything that good...
after seeing that amazing cinematography, Ill never "see" the color red in the same way again.. sure RED is blood, but its also love and hate, and passion ...and other emotions that I don't even know the names of.. but I FEEELL 'em, dear god, I feel them..
After everyone sees that movie, there will be new words, not just new words, but the meanings of the words we have, will have to change... its makes me wonder.. did anyone even KNOW what cerulean blue REALLY looked like before Monet' taught us to see with new eyes.. ?? huh? Its like that..
(Gordon reaches down, and remove a hand gun from his "man purse")
Well, thats its. There really is nothing more.. except.. well..
Thank you to the filmmaker for letting me see a glimpse of the heaven that I'm about to enter.. this inst a suicide, it inst the unforgivable sin.. no, Im going where I belong.. just like the scene in the 2nd act, I now go to join the long line of heroes before me... I will dine with my fathers... at the right hand of Jesus..
BOOM!
(Gordon falls to the ground, out of site.. the camera battery runs out..)
FADE TO BLACK