Took ten seconds off with batch 1 .Okay here is batch 1.
"How are you doing?"
"You mean I'm Well"
Cut "I'm" here. He did not say I'm, he just said Good, not I'm good. Since it's VO it's easy to cut that word.
You don't need the shot at 1:20 have her exist scene in the shot before this. It's unnecessary.
At 1:44/45 put a sound effect of dog leaving couch (like claws running off leather).
2:24 I would tighten up a hair the pause is too long for what they are discussing, start around 2:25 right at the rolleyes.
we didnt have any coin props when we filmed that sceneNew 2
16:18 Needs a phone call sound effect he's too clear.
17:20 this pan to the buildings lasts a hair too long cut around 17:21 nor :24.
17:59 shot of the bag another one that could be trimmed.
18:39 the shot holding the coin cuts weird, to not holding it but cash. Unintended jump cut?
21:32 "Can't be that hard" hard looks out of sync.
20:40 Cricket sound after killing, lower? A bit distracting right after the shot.
22:09 I don't know what he mumbles when he is getting on his knee.
GOOD STUFF MAN!!!!!!! Enjoyed it!
i like that a lot more than just fading into a newspaper! hey i could always ask him. sounds super easy to do on my ownI was thinking a cool last shot would be DISSOLVE TO: The old man is healed, drinking his morning coffee somewhere outdoors, birds chirping, reading the paper... he smiles, zoom into that headline. But hey that's not shot so.
Oh I wanted them both to die bc of his actions.This doesn't really matter either way but it could say Man Disappears From Cruise While On Honeymoon so we don't think he killed both of them. Anyway best of luck! Seems festival-worthy if those ever come back.
Some movies when the guy breaks bad, he has a random friend that he buys a gun from the back of a van or something.I didn't get a good chance to concentrate on story while taking notes so I look forward to it fresh when it's done and I can watch it thru. Once it's online (after fests etc.)