picture (editing) Feedback Requested

sfoster

Staff Member
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I'm meeting with a musician this week to produce the soundtrack so I need to get picture lock ASAP.
I've gotten some really insightful comments on indietalk in the past so I think this will be helpful to me if anyone has 24 minutes to spare.

I put the unlisted video on youtube to be watched here until 5/25/20.
EDIT: 3 Minutes have been cut from that video. New version is here for now.

Note: This is not a completed film. The audio is a WIP and there is zero color grading or VFX work completed.
I'd love comments on the editing. I have in mind already what/where the music will be but I welcome input on that as well.

Thanks everyone!
 
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sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
Maybe @Cracker Funk could take a look? :)
If you're not too busy.
I know he does a lot of editing - and made both of my trailers - so he may have some good suggestions.
That would be awesome.
24 minutes sounds like a work commitment but i dont want anyone to feel that way.

If you start watching and get bored - stop watching! and then tell me when you stopped so I can make that part more exciting.
 

indietalk

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Okay here is batch 1.

"How are you doing?"
"Good"
"You mean I'm Well"

Cut "I'm" here. He did not say I'm, he just said Good, not I'm good. Since it's VO it's easy to cut that word.

You don't need the shot at 1:20 have her exist scene in the shot before this. It's unnecessary.

At 1:44/45 put a sound effect of dog leaving couch (like claws running off leather).

2:24 I would tighten up a hair the pause is too long for what they are discussing, start around 2:25 right at the rolleyes.
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
Okay here is batch 1.

"How are you doing?"
"Good"
"You mean I'm Well"

Cut "I'm" here. He did not say I'm, he just said Good, not I'm good. Since it's VO it's easy to cut that word.

You don't need the shot at 1:20 have her exist scene in the shot before this. It's unnecessary.

At 1:44/45 put a sound effect of dog leaving couch (like claws running off leather).

2:24 I would tighten up a hair the pause is too long for what they are discussing, start around 2:25 right at the rolleyes.
this is great stuff. Cutting out the word "I'm" haha i love it, i could have watched this for weeks and not thought about that one
I'll have to go over the other stuff while I have my editor up later today
 

indietalk

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Batch 2

3:16 His reaction to "Get out" is delayed. When we see him it looks like he just heard it but there is time after she says it. Trim this up.

3:41/42 cut out those two footsteps. We hear footsteps as he leaves, a pause when we see her, then two more. Cut the two separate ones.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
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Batch 3

3:47 The crickets sound transition. Trim it so it is less in the previous scene, only in the exterior shot, and do not bring it into the next scene. It sounds really odd in the new scene when that are talking and it stops.

4:17 cut out his sniffle it isn't seen visually anyway.

4:26 "It's all good." I like this whisper line but be sure it it's scored later you raise it.

The "Two months later" audio has some bad audio, like mic rumbling and some static/pop sound. The score will probably cover this up but take a listen where the titles are up.
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
The "Two months later" audio has some bad audio, like mic rumbling and some static/pop sound. The score will probably cover this up but take a listen where the titles are up.
This micro analysis would be exhausting to do all 24 minutes at once, i appreciate the effort youre putting in.
I'm learning some stuff from this too. I had a total blind spot for some of these issues. like that 4:17.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
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Round 3

See if when he's entering the house you can cut out some wind noise on the mic. It's not really bad though.

5:21 It sounds like the drawer opening sound cuts off abruptly.

5:46 I would start the dissolve here at 5:46 it hangs a bit long on the key.
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
Round 3

See if when he's entering the house you can cut out some wind noise on the mic. It's not really bad though.
I tried to get some new outdoor audio and I got brutalized by the wind.
I'm going to need to acquire a dead cat or blimp or something.

To save you some time - there are a couple moments later on so bad that there's no ambiance and the audio cuts out completely.
You dont need to mention those timestamps 😄 😄
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
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Round 5

7:38 he is handing him the gun CUT TO: Next shot he extends his arm to hand him the gun again. He extends his arm twice.

8:20 When the seller says "I understand" you might want to raise that line.
 

indietalk

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ROUND 6

8:39 (minor detail) would like to hear keys jingling here mixed with the knob sound. Otherwise it sounds like someone jiggling the knob to a locked door only.

9:19 "No shit?" trim this shot a little he's kinda standing there doing nothing after. Instead of the other guy saying "Yeah man..." OS, show him saying it... otherwise he's standing there bobbing back and forth.
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
ROUND 6

8:39 (minor detail) would like to hear keys jingling here mixed with the knob sound. Otherwise it sounds like someone jiggling the knob to a locked door only.

9:19 "No shit?" trim this shot a little he's kinda standing there doing nothing after. Instead of the other guy saying "Yeah man..." OS, show him saying it... otherwise he's standing there bobbing back and forth.
That keys detail is great. Bobbing made me laugh. I told him he was bobbing and he insisted he wanted it that way.
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
I'll finish up later or tomorrow.
Thanks, is this what film school is like? I feel like i just turned in my project at the end of the semester hahah.
The good news for you is that you made it through all the drama and setup. The rest of the movie is almost entirely action comedy.
 
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