What are you drinking right NOW!

Same thing I always drink,


I literally buy them in bulk.

They taste like grapefruit juice mixed with kerosine.

Finally had myself some White Russian. The Dude's looked so delicious. I had to monkey around with the recipe, though; the standard recipes are way to alcoholy for me. And, I haven't a taste for coffee. Here's one spin on the White Russian I've found to be quite palatable, lovely even:

Plenty of ice
One ounce vodka (rather than the normally prescribed two ounces—more, if you're The Dude)
One ounce Trader Vic's White Chocolate Liqueur (replacing the Kahlúa—I don't care for the coffee taste)
One ounce half and half
One ounce heavy cream


While I haven't been drinking for about a decade and a half now, I used to make this drink to assist me in guitar riff composition.

I called it "The Definistrator"

I can't remember what goes in it, no one who ever drank one has much memory of anything in the months surrounding the consumption of the mixture.

All I know is that we discontinued the beverage around 2001, at the apex of the formula's glory. We had been continually improving and refining the drink for some time at that point, and from what I can glean from court records, there was a party at my building where the potency of the drink reached excessive levels.

Apparently the mixture was so potent, destroyed so many brain cells per sip, and radiated such toxic and inebriating fumes, that on a single night in September, 16 unique ska bands formed within a 2 mile radius of the party. Many in direct attendance fared far worse, pursuing careers in holistic medicine, writing articles for the Daily Mail UK, and trying to revive breatharianism as a legitimate religion. I was fortunately spared, as I was knocked unconscious by fumes and driven to the hospital by friends while attempting to dump the mixture into a punchbowl.

As to how the drink got it's rather unique name, it was named this after a hilarious incident in which one partygoer threw another out of a window in my home, failing I think, to realize that it was a first floor window. The victim immediately circumvented the home exterior and proceeded to throw the original aggressor into my television set. That party continued for 9 more hours after the incident.

Here's the thing, there's at least 25% of this story that's true.

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