Just watched it and it's pretty good. But it's not great. I wasn't a fan of it like the others were. Sorry but I guess I'll be playing the devil's advocate here.
Here are some of my notes. They might be a little bit disorganized so bear with me. haha.
- The cinematography looks great, but it might just be overly graded? Also, I know you already know about the out of focus shots (I read the vimeo comments).
- The special effects looked funky to me (unrealistic)... especially the explosions in the beginning and the smoke stuff. Now I know they are SFX but I really think that you should really achieve into making them look as real as possible. Hate to say, but they did look very amateurish to me. I did love the plane and the practical FX (smoke and dirt) though! I thought they were the best ones.
- I don't know why, but the environment from the opening scenes in the field didn't really do it for me. Maybe showing less of the background could've helped a little? The trenches looked great though.
- Great acting from the lead (might've overacted in some parts). That being said, I liked his performances in the trenches and not really in the flashback scenes. The kids and the girl were alright too.
- I feel like there should be a purpose/motivation on why he should get the picture from his coat pocket. Him just getting it all of a sudden doesn't work for me. Just a random question, didn't he have 2 kids? Why is it in the picture, he only has his wife and one kid?
- Wasn't a big fan of the flashback transitions really.
- Great score. Love the music when the kids were running. BTW, what happened to the music @ 2:32-2:33 when you cut from him screaming to him crawling?
- I think you could've done more with the kids, performance wise. It really looked like they were just going out for a jog.
- I think a single shot of Stephen sneaking up on them would be good. Sophie's single of just laughing looked a bit awkward.
- The german soldiers looked like their action/blocking was over rehearsed. They looked like robots. I'm talking about when they come in and they "cheesily" point the gun at Stephen. Audio there was a bit iffy too.
- The story works great for a short but I thought it could've been so much better. I mean, this could've been handled much better which would've resulted in a more emotional film. It didn't really move me because of the way you executed it. It had potential, but unfortunately, it was a miss for me.
- Lastly, I thought this short could've been so much shorter. It dragged on a bit especially in the beginning.
Overall, I'm pretty disappointed of how it came out but be assured that it's definitely better than most shorts up on the interwebzzz. And being able to pull everything off at your age is really cool. I hope you can appreciate my constructive criticism. It can only make us better right?
Sorry for being a dick.
Great effort and I can't wait to see what your next project is! Definitely keep us updated!