Impressive job: Good story, acting, cinematography, make-up etc., and the editing provided generally good pacing which resulted in an engaging short. Well done.
I hope you don't mind deeper observation and some constructive criticism though? The sound was reasonably good compared to many indie shorts but is still by far the weakest link in your short, compared to the attention to detail and quality of the other aspects of filmmaking you have evidenced. With a few exceptions, the aircraft for example, the sound FX are generally quite good. The mixing is less good, the Foley is generally too over hyped and in general the mix sounds more two dimensional than it should. While there are some relatively minor weaknesses in the actual sound, it's the sound design which is the real weak point.
For example: The CU breathing/gasping of the main character is so over used that it eventually looses it's dramatic impact, becomes annoying and if anything pulls us out of the scene. The opposite result to what was intended. Changing to the aural POV of the main character dragging himself through the trench was a good idea but was poorly executed and therefore again fails to achieve it's full dramatic potential. The music at this point anticipates the flashback, which softens the contrast between the horrific war scenes and the happy memory scenes and greatly reduces their dramatic impact. The sci-fi style sound design elements which take us to and from the flashback scenes are completely inappropriate in my opinion. The sound design at the very end of the film is particularly weak, reducing the climax of the film (the main character's execution) to just another event.
It's not that the sound is particularly bad and destroys your film (which is often the case with indie shorts), just that it doesn't enhance the pacing, character development, dramatic impact and audience involvement anywhere near as much as it should. IMHO, as the sound design is the weakest aspect of your film, this is perhaps the area of your filmmaking which would most benefit from some further study/development.
G
I hope you don't mind deeper observation and some constructive criticism though? The sound was reasonably good compared to many indie shorts but is still by far the weakest link in your short, compared to the attention to detail and quality of the other aspects of filmmaking you have evidenced. With a few exceptions, the aircraft for example, the sound FX are generally quite good. The mixing is less good, the Foley is generally too over hyped and in general the mix sounds more two dimensional than it should. While there are some relatively minor weaknesses in the actual sound, it's the sound design which is the real weak point.
For example: The CU breathing/gasping of the main character is so over used that it eventually looses it's dramatic impact, becomes annoying and if anything pulls us out of the scene. The opposite result to what was intended. Changing to the aural POV of the main character dragging himself through the trench was a good idea but was poorly executed and therefore again fails to achieve it's full dramatic potential. The music at this point anticipates the flashback, which softens the contrast between the horrific war scenes and the happy memory scenes and greatly reduces their dramatic impact. The sci-fi style sound design elements which take us to and from the flashback scenes are completely inappropriate in my opinion. The sound design at the very end of the film is particularly weak, reducing the climax of the film (the main character's execution) to just another event.
It's not that the sound is particularly bad and destroys your film (which is often the case with indie shorts), just that it doesn't enhance the pacing, character development, dramatic impact and audience involvement anywhere near as much as it should. IMHO, as the sound design is the weakest aspect of your film, this is perhaps the area of your filmmaking which would most benefit from some further study/development.
G