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My (ahem) version of The Empire Strikes Back.

A

Aspiring Mogul

My version can't be any worse than the fiddling George Lucas has done with his original trilogy - and it would be a lot better than the prequels, which isn't saying very much.

This is the scene where Luke meets Darth.

Code: 
The carbon freezing chamber is dark and foreboding. Luke walks in and sees Darth. Both put out their lightsabers, and Luke attacks.
[CENTER]
Darth
That’s right, release your anger – only your hate can destroy me now.

Luke
You sure about that?

Darth
Absolutely – it works every time. 

Luke (grimacing and striking at Darth’s lightsaber with his lightsaber)
Aaarrgh!!! How’s that?

Darth
More hate! More anger!

Luke (striking at Darth’s lightsaber even harder)
Better?

Darth
Much better – I’m almost ready to surrender. Now, pour on your negative feelings. [/CENTER]

Luke continues his attacks, driving his opponent back. 

[CENTER]Darth
Well done. Now, complete your transformation and join the dark side of the Force. 

Luke
Never! I’ll never be a liberal!

Darth
Luke, if you only knew the power of evil. You can use high taxes and a welfare state to cheat hard-working people of their money.

Luke
I’ll never join the Democrats!

Darth
Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke
He told me enough! He said you killed him!

Darth
No, Luke, I am your father.

Luke (eyes wide in horror)
Nooooo!!!!

Darth 
Search your feelings, and you know it is true – that your father is a tree-hugging environmentalist. Now, take my hand, and, when we rule this galaxy as father and son, we will fill it with pinkos who watch Jane Fonda’s Exercise Videos!
[/CENTER]


By the next movie, of course, Darth would become a God-fearing Republican – like all true Jedi.

What do you think? :D
 
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Vader... is a liberal? :weird:

You should team up with wreckerman893. He's been dropping his thoughts on Democrats, recently, too. :abduct:

Good political satire is harder than one might imagine. :bag:

.
 
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Eh. Not really. Setting aside all my political biases, I can honestly say that you could replace Vader with any politician and it would pretty much be the same. Unless you came up with some truly clever lines to show the similarities between the villain and the actual politician, it falls flat. There needs to be unique. Revealing a masked villain as a real person has been done before, and works most effectively when there's some clever wordplay or twist put on the idea. But I don't see that here.
 
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darth-cheney.jpg
 
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ChimpPhobiaFilms said:
Eh. Not really. Setting aside all my political biases, I can honestly say that you could replace Vader with any politician and it would pretty much be the same. Unless you came up with some truly clever lines to show the similarities between the villain and the actual politician, it falls flat. There needs to be unique. Revealing a masked villain as a real person has been done before, and works most effectively when there's some clever wordplay or twist put on the idea. But I don't see that here.
Click to expand...

Oh, OK - it was just for myself, actually.

Photon, I don't know who that guy in the glasses is.
 
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There are three types of republicans:

1. People with lots of money. The republican party is most likely to protect their interests.
2. Ultra-religious Christians who want to force their religion on others.
3. Stupid people.
 
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Cracker Funk said:
There are three types of republicans:

1. People with lots of money. The republican party is most likely to protect their interests.
..................
Click to expand...

That's what your constitution is about:
'to protect the few against the many' which translates as: "to protect the few who have it all against the many with nothing" ;)
 
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WalterB said:
That's what your constitution is about:
'to protect the few against the many' which translates as: "to protect the few who have it all against the many with nothing" ;)
Click to expand...

Sounds like this is coming from someone who doesn't have a Constitution? ...Sucks to be you!

The Constitution = "Individual Rights".

Maybe after you sell your Screenplay that you worked your ass off on for millions of $$$ and have your Socialists government take it all away from you and give it to people who won't even get off the couch (because they don't have to) ...THEN maybe you'll understand what a Constitution is?

-Birdman
 
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WalterB said:
That's what your constitution is about:
'to protect the few against the many' which translates as: "to protect the few who have it all against the many with nothing" ;)
Click to expand...

There are various groups of "few". Some "few" really have it all, but there are other "few" who really need protection against the "many". It is mostly regarding ethnicities, people with disabilities and etc.
 
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Too bad some people don't get the irony. The smiley should be a sign.

@Birdman:
Great conclusion.
Go spill your guts!
I feel the echo of Maccarthyism resonating in your post :P
I would never think anyone would ever believe that we have a socialist government and that taxing 100% of any income would be possible.

PS.
Maybe the International Warcrimes Tribunal is The Hague because of our constitution? :P
(But that's off topic.)
 
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The "irony" I see whoever I encounter "Constitution Bashers" is that the document was designed as a reaction to the entirety of mankind's history. Until the Constitution was ratified, the world's history was doomed to kings, queens, rulers, dictators and tyrants.

The writers of the Constitution #1 priority was to make sure nothing like that could ever happen to a "free society". They wrote rules and regulations not for you. ...but for the government! The government cannot do this. ...the government cannot do that.

The whole concept was to allow an individual to pursue their dreams without a government or dictator reigning down on them and taking away their hard work. The constitution was designed to protect YOU and YOUR FREEDOM.

...and what amazes me the most is how so many people will bend over backwards to give up the freedoms they now have.

I guess some people aren't happy unless they are living in a cage?

-Birdman
 
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