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My (ahem) version of The Empire Strikes Back.

A

Aspiring Mogul

My version can't be any worse than the fiddling George Lucas has done with his original trilogy - and it would be a lot better than the prequels, which isn't saying very much.

This is the scene where Luke meets Darth.

Code: 
The carbon freezing chamber is dark and foreboding. Luke walks in and sees Darth. Both put out their lightsabers, and Luke attacks.
[CENTER]
Darth
That’s right, release your anger – only your hate can destroy me now.

Luke
You sure about that?

Darth
Absolutely – it works every time. 

Luke (grimacing and striking at Darth’s lightsaber with his lightsaber)
Aaarrgh!!! How’s that?

Darth
More hate! More anger!

Luke (striking at Darth’s lightsaber even harder)
Better?

Darth
Much better – I’m almost ready to surrender. Now, pour on your negative feelings. [/CENTER]

Luke continues his attacks, driving his opponent back. 

[CENTER]Darth
Well done. Now, complete your transformation and join the dark side of the Force. 

Luke
Never! I’ll never be a liberal!

Darth
Luke, if you only knew the power of evil. You can use high taxes and a welfare state to cheat hard-working people of their money.

Luke
I’ll never join the Democrats!

Darth
Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke
He told me enough! He said you killed him!

Darth
No, Luke, I am your father.

Luke (eyes wide in horror)
Nooooo!!!!

Darth 
Search your feelings, and you know it is true – that your father is a tree-hugging environmentalist. Now, take my hand, and, when we rule this galaxy as father and son, we will fill it with pinkos who watch Jane Fonda’s Exercise Videos!
[/CENTER]


By the next movie, of course, Darth would become a God-fearing Republican – like all true Jedi.

What do you think? :D
 
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DeJager said:
For any new IT members or potential members, please disregard the arrogance some of commenters on this thread have shown. Not everybody at IT is a hate mongering troll. I don't care how many posts you have (cough cough, Ray), have some class.
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Beg pardon, I've mongered no hate.
I believe I've provided sound and germane briefs of the political parties relevant to the provided screenplay and it's OP who repeatedly asked for opinions.

Furthermore, the following links corroborate those briefs:

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Democrat_vs_Republican
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/05/09/fifteen-differences/

Here's a tongue in cheek difference:
http://www.americanpolitics.com/030499dictionary.html

Not much better than the previous link, but still supportive of my briefs:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080928222639AABqakP

To defend my objective statements in this thread I can belabor the point and keep providing link after link of supportive info, but I'm confident that I've not proved anything hateful.

OP clearly has his characters delivering dialog incongruous with the trope.

If you see otherwise I'd like to understand your, and Will's, alternate POV.
 
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DeJager said:
This should get you banned. Not only are you making fun of a large part of the US population, you're also attacking members of this forum such as myself. You should be ashamed of your behaviors. IT has no place for people such as yourself who are going to be so nasty. Have some class.
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You're just mad that the Seahawks won the Super Bowl! :P

So, I take it that you're okay with the OP insinuating that democrats are an evil fascist empire? Cuz you didn't criticize that post. I guess you're okay with him making fun of a large part of the US population, including members of this forum such as myself? But when I respond in kind, I'm the bad guy?

There's a reason politics isn't allowed on IT. The OP started the vitriol, I just responded. And if you can't take the heat, get the hell out the kitchen.
 
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I honestly don't see where all this passion is coming from. :no:

Personal opinions on politics is irrelevant.
Characters should be constructed in some sensible manner.

Darth Vader as a democrat and Luke as a republican makes about as much sense as Big Bird pointing a M1 @ Oscar the Grouch saying "Get off my lawn."
WTF?
Try the other way around.

I don't really care about the politics.
Politics as characters IS NOT THE SAME as politics as beliefs and practices.

And we can apply this to any future religious characters as well.

You wouldn't have have Jesus and Mohammed sitting down at a table in McD's with McRibs and fries where Gandhi was working on a double bacon cheeseburger.

Fixing all the errors in that IS NOT a religious discussion.
 
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Mogul, I've got no beef with you. Some of my best friends are republican! ;)

In my opinion, some people in this thread might be a tad-oversensitive, and I don't think it's either you or me. One of them once reported me to the mods for cracking a that's-what-she-said joke, and the other defriended me on FB for casual sports-fan trash-talk.
 
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Oy vey.

Aspiring Mogul said:
Lost in all this political discussion is any thought on my screenplay.
Click to expand...

That's... (Be gentle. Be gentle. Okay, ...okay.)

Nevermind.

Eh. There's little doubt that the screenplay was intended to elicit such reactions. That's usually the raison d'être of satire. Cool.

But Rayw is of course right. His solicited imput could not rationally be construed as misinformation. He merely and correctly pointed out certain realities and truths relavent to AM's screenplay, and more importantly, its inconsistencies.

As Stef very amusingly and succinctly pointed out, that Darth Vader would give a hoot about making sure his subjects had adaquete healthcare is a complete laugh --and more importantly, very illustrative. It's a very clever observation. Now there might be some amusing satire to be had from that.

And Cracker definately has a point, though one of those statements was a little..indelicate. ;)

But again, let's not pretend that the screenplay wasn't written to elicit such passion. That would be disingenuous.

And hey, writing that succeeds in doing so must be at least partially successful, I'd say.

I'm guessing this thread is still alive due to the fact that the discussion is relevant to an actual screenplay written by a member who asked for input. It's not like it's a political discussion pulled out of nowhere.

But it does also illustrate how quickly passions and disagreements arise.

So anyway, I agree with Rayw's assessment.

On the other hand, this reminds me of a story I recently heard about The Hunger Games. Was that on here or on TV? TV, I guess. Anyway, the story was that, seemingly incongruously, conservatives and Tea Partiers, I guess, see The Hunger Games as telling their narrative. That is, amazingly, they think The Capitol and President Snow represent the Democratice Party, liberalism, and Obama. Just goes to show how different people can take the same material but come up with very divergent interpretations --which suit their own narratives best.

So, I suppose one could see Darth Vader as a Democrat or as a liberal, if it suited one's own narrative. But as Stef most succinctly pointed out, boy is it a head-scratcher. I think, for most politically aware people, that seriously undermines the would-be satire of the piece, AM.

And all of this reminds me of an amusing bumper sticker about Lord Voldermort...oh, nevermind. =)
 
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richy said:
I'm guessing this thread is still alive due to the fact that the discussion is relevant to an actual screenplay written by a member who asked for input. It's not like it's a political discussion pulled out of nowhere.
Click to expand...

...The sad part about this is that the OP's screenplay "idea" sucked.

I am surprised all the "professional experts" here have been so kind as to consider it worthy of constructive criticism in the first place.

I'm sorry, but it was a complete waste of time. The OP should be spending his time on more serious script writing instead of reprocessing someone else's work that's already been reprocessed in a million different forms already. I've had highly contested back-and-forth debates on whether or not you can mention a song or even a frickin' brand name in a screenplay, and here we have Aspiring Mogul swapping out the words from one of the most famous movie scripts of all time with his own choice of words.

Frankly, I'm amazed the thread made it past the first post.

Aspiring Mogul, ...Seriously, ...Is that the very best you can do? Do you not have any other ideas that are your own? Because if you don't, you'd better get used to the word "Aspiring" being attached to your name throughout your Screenplay writing career.


-Birdman
 
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Birdman said:
Democrats back NSA Eavesdropping, large tax increases, and an unsustainable national debt. They thrive on legislating new regulations that kills business and jobs. They leave people to die in Benghazi and then lie about it to the public. They use government agencies (IRS) to target opposition groups while boasting of "We love everyone!" They are pussies. They do not abide by the Constitution and promote Socialism. ......They are "Progressives"

Republicans are NOT "Conservatives". They back NSA eaves dropping, larger government and increased regulations. They push draconian laws (like the Patriot Act) which kills Freedom and Liberty. They engage in wars that they don't know how to finish. They support increasing the national debt if it will get them reelected. They are pussies. ......They are also "Progressives".

The Tea Party ARE "Conservatives". They back individual Liberties and Freedoms. They are similar to libertarians, but without all the anarchy. They believe you should be able to pursue your dreams without the government stealing your hard work. They believe in the smallest government possible is the best approach. If you want to be gay? ...Be gay. Wanna smoke pot? ...Smoke pot. Want to believe a certain way? ...Go for it ....as long as you don't hurt someone else along the way. Want to be a citizen? Go for it, but do it legally. They insist on a balanced budget, lowered debt and fiscal responsibility. They are not pussies. ...They are not "Progressives".

-Birdman
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Backing the NSA eavesdropping is barely a majority. Most people are not concerned, oddly. The biggest outcry is from the democrats. Dems actually care about personal freedom, but often try to control life outside your house.

You forgot only a couple, small, but extremely important details about the TEA party. They've been coopted both by fringe radical evangelical republicans, and receive money from the Koch brothers making them just as corrupt as the other two parties, IF NOT, MORE CORRUPT.

You can point to all the tenets of the TEA parties around the states, and I'll generally agree with those tenets. Get corruption and corporation influence out of government. Return personal freedoms. Get the government out of our bedrooms and bodies. I'd be a TEA party member if not for the fringe republicans taking them over. When you point to their actions and statements, it's clear who they are. They're the ones destroying and making a mockery of congress. They're the ones that have caused much of the problems with the current system, with bully tactics which has finally resulted in them having no voice. They're the ones pushing hateful anti-women bills. They're the ones that caused the "nuclear option" for verifying judges. They're the ones NOT DOING THEIR JOBS and should be fired.

Boener has finally realized it himself. Know who shutdown the government last year to try to punish the USA for not passing their bills? The TEA party. Know what happened? They lost. Know who refused to participate in healthcare discussions, hoping it would become Obama's "waterloo" instead of helping write a mutually acceptable solution? The TEA party. Know what happened? They lost. Bullies always lose in the end, and they've taken a few kicks to the crotch and may have learned they need to play nice or they get kicked out of the sandbox.

Sadly, they need a few more kicks to the crotch. And I'll be there watching and laughing with each kick.


Kick.


kick.


Kick.


hahhahahahahahaha!!! So well deserved.
 
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Republican Extrwmests? Seriously? ...There is no such thing as a "Republican Extrwmest". They don't exist, Ray. All that remains of the GOP are "Progressives".

Ray, if you think the Tea Party has been taken over by Republican extremists and is what's responsible for why congress is so screwed up, ...then you have absolutely no clue what's really going on. I can tell when someone is beyond understanding. There is no reaching them. They are lost and perfectly content with remaining lost.


...Enjoy life in a cage, Ray.

-Birdman
 
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Anarchy forever!!! No corrupt governments... no governments... no rules...

Don't take that seriously :)

But what if one writes a story about a man, who overturns all governments and establishes pure anarchy? :)
 
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Inarius said:
Anarchy forever!!! No corrupt governments... no governments... no rules...

Don't take that seriously :)

But what if one writes a story about a man, who overturns all governments and establishes pure anarchy? :)
Click to expand...

ESTABLISH: To set up (an organization, system, or set of rules) on a firm or permanent basis.

So how exactly does one establish anarchy? What are the rules and who enforces these rules?

-Birdman
 
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richy said:
So anyway, I agree with Rayw's assessment.
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Thank you.

stef said:
I'd be a TEA party member if not for the fringe republicans taking them over.
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Birdman said:
Republican Extrwmests? Seriously? ...There is no such thing as a "Republican Extrwmest". They don't exist, Ray. All that remains of the GOP are "Progressives".

Ray, if you think the Tea Party has been taken over by Republican extremists and is what's responsible for why congress is so screwed up, ...then you have absolutely no clue what's really going on. I can tell when someone is beyond understanding. There is no reaching them. They are lost and perfectly content with remaining lost.


...Enjoy life in a cage, Ray.

-Birdman
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This'll be the second contested conversation we've been in where I've provided validating information while your only defence is "a lot more words" - but still no supporting information.

Furthermore, above you're blind raging against the wrong fellow IT member.

Your chain's a bit long.
Will you please keep your rabid rage in it's cage and in your screenplays where thinly veiled attacks MIGHT be overlooked. :)
 
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rayw said:
Republicans are conservatives: People are idiots so they need controlling + fiscal hoarders.
Democrats are liberals: Let people do what they want + let's everyone financially help each other.
.
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RayW,

What is highlighted above is how you feel or you wouldn't have posted it. It doesn't bother me a bit if you think because I am a Conservative I must be a greedy money hoarder who thinks everyone is stupid and needs controlling as a result. That's your take on Conservatives.

It's completely wrong ...but is there any way I could ever change your mind? NO! Your mind is mAde up. I'm not going to get in a "link war" with you because even if I refuted your entire View on Conservativism you're still not going to change your mind. Here's an example:

You wrote: "Let people do what they want + let's everyone financially help each other."

Conservatives believe in individual liberty and freedom. That is our foundation. You say our foundation is the opposite. At the same time, you say Dems "let's everyone financially help each other." Do you mean "taxes everyone and redistributes their money?" If so, why not just say it? Are Conservatives "stopping" people from helping out each other financially?

Now, here's a link (LINKY)

This link shows that Conservatives are the most charitable political party of all. ...Is this somehow going to miraculously change your mind? Are you going to turn off your computer and walk around thinking, " How could I have been so wrong about them?" ...He'll no! Your mind is already made up! There is no reaching you. You are lost within your own views and are perfectly content with that way of thinking.

Lastly:

My wife and I have a wiener dog named "Lucy". We keep her in a cage at night so we can grab her if there's a fire. We take care of her food, water, house, health care. We let her bark at squirrels ...but not chase them. We take her for walks ...but only on a leash so that she doesn't run away after a squirrel or get hit by a car. Her whole life is under our direct control. All of the decisions for Lucy are controlled by us. And again, when we aren't around or it's night time ...she goes back in her cage ...for her own protection. It's for her own good.

There are people in this world that want their lives to be the same way as Lucy's. They want someone to protect them, nurse them, feed them, provide them with shelter and make all of the decisions for them. It's safe, you don't have to worry about things, and after all ... It's for their own good.

They enjoy life in a cage.

I am a Conservative. After what I just wrote there is no way any logical person could fathom that "Conservatives want to control people because people are stupid". Have I changed YOUR mind? No! Will I ever be able to? No!

Enjoy life in a cage, Ray!

- Birdman
 
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Again, "more words" + no validation.

I have and have stated no opinion on your, my own, or anyone else's political stand.
Your political affiliation is none of my concern - thus - not germane to the nature of this thread's intent.

Darth Vader as a Democrat and Luke Skywalker as a Republican are preposterous well short of parody or humor.


And this is not constructive or useful.
It's just you being ugly:
Birdman said:
...The sad part about this is that the OP's screenplay "idea" sucked.

I am surprised all the "professional experts" here have been so kind as to consider it worthy of constructive criticism in the first place.

I'm sorry, but it was a complete waste of time. The OP should be spending his time on more serious script writing instead of reprocessing someone else's work that's already been reprocessed in a million different forms already. I've had highly contested back-and-forth debates on whether or not you can mention a song or even a frickin' brand name in a screenplay, and here we have Aspiring Mogul swapping out the words from one of the most famous movie scripts of all time with his own choice of words.

Frankly, I'm amazed the thread made it past the first post.

Aspiring Mogul, ...Seriously, ...Is that the very best you can do? Do you not have any other ideas that are your own? Because if you don't, you'd better get used to the word "Aspiring" being attached to your name throughout your Screenplay writing career.


-Birdman
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Please stick to the subject.
 
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rayw said:
Darth Vader as a Democrat and Luke Skywalker as a Republican are preposterous well short of parody or humor.

And this is not constructive or useful.
It's just you being ugly.
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Ray's Rules:

(1). "It sucks!" = BAD!

(2). "preposterous well short of parody or humor." = GOOD!

(3). "It's just you being ugly" = GOOD!



...okay, NOW I'm learning!

-Birdman
 
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