My (ahem) version of The Empire Strikes Back.

[Aspiring Mogul]

My version can't be any worse than the fiddling George Lucas has done with his original trilogy - and it would be a lot better than the prequels, which isn't saying very much.

This is the scene where Luke meets Darth.

The carbon freezing chamber is dark and foreboding. Luke walks in and sees Darth. Both put out their lightsabers, and Luke attacks.
[CENTER]
Darth
That’s right, release your anger – only your hate can destroy me now.

Luke
You sure about that?

Darth
Absolutely – it works every time. 

Luke (grimacing and striking at Darth’s lightsaber with his lightsaber)
Aaarrgh!!! How’s that?

Darth
More hate! More anger!

Luke (striking at Darth’s lightsaber even harder)
Better?

Darth
Much better – I’m almost ready to surrender. Now, pour on your negative feelings. [/CENTER]

Luke continues his attacks, driving his opponent back. 

[CENTER]Darth
Well done. Now, complete your transformation and join the dark side of the Force. 

Luke
Never! I’ll never be a liberal!

Darth
Luke, if you only knew the power of evil. You can use high taxes and a welfare state to cheat hard-working people of their money.

Luke
I’ll never join the Democrats!

Darth
Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke
He told me enough! He said you killed him!

Darth
No, Luke, I am your father.

Luke (eyes wide in horror)
Nooooo!!!!

Darth 
Search your feelings, and you know it is true – that your father is a tree-hugging environmentalist. Now, take my hand, and, when we rule this galaxy as father and son, we will fill it with pinkos who watch Jane Fonda’s Exercise Videos!
[/CENTER]

By the next movie, of course, Darth would become a God-fearing Republican – like all true Jedi.

What do you think?

 

[Inarius]

"Democracy is not perfect, but it's the best we have now" - I don't remember who said that, but I agree with him.

I also agree Aspiring Mogul's. Let's return to the subject of the topic

 

[Aspiring Mogul]

"Democracy is not perfect, but it's the best we have now" - I don't remember who said that, but I agree with him.

Winston Churchill said that.

Many forms of Government have been tried and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.
Speech in the House of Commons (1947-11-11)

 

[WalterB]

...............

...and what amazes me the most is how so many people will bend over backwards to give up the freedoms they now have.

I guess some people aren't happy unless they are living in a cage?

-Birdman

I share your amazement. Even about the freedoms people already gave up in the name of fear or ignorance.
But that's getting way off topic.

FWIW: I think the Declaration of Independance is one of the great accomplishments of the age of reason. A document that indeed seeks to establish a society of free people that are not ruled by some decendant of a warlord, but are represented by elected peers.
For this very reason (and ideals about religious freedom) The Netherlands fought for 80 years to become independent from the Spanish Empire. Gone through such a struggle over a century earlier The Netherlands were amongst the first nations to support the Declaration of Independance.

If you look at the economic reality of the USA or the world it's easy to see the irony. The 99% is not just a number made up by the occupy movement.
But I guess the closer to the heart, the more irony feels like bashing. If anything was bashed it were corrupt politicians who are not helping the nation, but their friends and sponsors pockets.

---------------------------

On topic:

You could be on a new 'genre': depicting all kinds 'evil' in this script.
Just like the angry Hitler parodies about 'everything'.
However it should be dubbed, because there is no way the script version can go viral.
But the connection between the empire and your 'evil' seems a bit thin.

 

[Aspiring Mogul]

We get way off topic, then we discuss the off topic subject matter.

 

[Birdman]

We get way off topic, then we discuss the off topic subject matter.

You have a political satire ...and you're mad because politics was discussed?

now that's funny!

I don't think you are serious about this anyway. My opinion is you are wasting time that could have been spent on creating a masterpiece. I did the same with my HOMOSAURUS! Graphic in the "Bad Screenplay Competition" thread. All shit like this does is waste time.

...Write something great!

- Birdman

 

[Inarius]

If we're talking about politics, I feel I just have to add my opinion here. As I said, democracy is the best of what people tried to do until now. But if we're talking about freedom (of speech), that's difficult.

Suppose I write a Screenplay which illustrates a country as very corrupt (whether it's Israel, Russia, USA or any other). Many writers do that, but they do a trick - they invent a person inside the government, which is the corrupt bad guy. When the bad guy goes down, the movie ends, stating that this guy was the source of all problems, and without him the country will live in happiness, because other politics in the government are not corrupt.

If your story will end up saying that the entire government is corrupt - no producer will make a movie this way. He will reject it. Or, if he really likes the story, he will change it the way I mentioned above. So yes, you are free to say (write) whatever you want, but nobody promises you will be heard. That's not a 100% freedom.

Another example - schools. Teenagers, especially girls. They want to be "like everybody else", wear what everybody wears, listen to the music everybody listens... High school girls are all so same to each other... Yes, sometimes they all even try to look the same! Is that freedom?

 

[WalterB]

.....
I did the same with my HOMOSAURUS! Graphic in the "Bad Screenplay Competition" thread. All shit like this foes is waste time.

...Write something great!

- Birdman

Which was a funny graphic.

Sometimes what may seem a waste of time will develop into something great.
I'm not saying that will be the case in here, but sometimes getting of the track leads to fantastic new views.

 

[stef]

So ... did I do a good job?

Not believable. Lol, Vader as a dem? I can just imagine him wanting healthcare for the empire.

Also, way too full of Tea party cliches and showed no understanding of any current party.

It did make me chuckle though.

 

[Birdman]

Which was a funny graphic.

Sometimes what may seem a waste of time will develop into something great.
I'm not saying that will be the case in here, but sometimes getting of the track leads to fantastic new views.

Well, I DO agree with that, but it's usually rare when it happens. I did a funny graphic in response to everyone holding their pistols sideways in the movies. It was called "Homeboy Nyte Sytes". It was a way to attach the gun sights on the side of the gun ...so people could actually aim the damned things. The graphic went viral. The Richmod, VA City Council had a meeting to try and have them banned ...until a Sheriff let them know that it was all just a spoof.

It's funny what people will believe. The sad part is that a governmental body acted so quick to pass a law against them.

But you are correct. ...Sometimes magic comes from mischief.

Not believable. Lol, Vader as a dem? I can just imagine him wanting healthcare for the empire. Also, way too full of Tea party cliches and showed no understanding of any current party. It did make me chuckle though.

Tea Party Cliches? ...I didn't see any? Also, Star Wars was already spoofed by Spaceballs. It's time for something new, ya know?

New Update: Tea Party people don't like Dems or Repubs. Their all pretty much Progressive Socialists except for maybe a few.

-Birdman

 

[rayw]

So ... did I do a good job?

Lost in all this political discussion is any thought on my screenplay.

It's not much of a screenplay.

U need 2 lern mor bout politikal pardies,

, to better write your parodies.

Republicans are conservatives: People are idiots so they need controlling + fiscal hoarders.
Democrats are liberals: Let people do what they want + let's everyone financially help each other.

In this regard, I'm pretty sure the Imperial Darth Vader et al would be more politically aligned with the republican party, not the democrat party.

Otherwise, you've only laid down a very light overwrite of largely well known material.
Hardly political satire (even if you had the correct parties identified).



So, what you do now is go back, read a little wikipedia on the republican agenda, then rewrite this with that material.
It'd probably make considerably more sense = more favorable response.

 

[Birdman]

It's not much of a screenplay.

U need 2 lern mor bout politikal pardies,

, to better write your parodies.

Republicans are conservatives: People are idiots so they need controlling + fiscal hoarders.
Democrats are liberals: Let people do what they want + let's everyone financially help each other.

In this regard, I'm pretty sure the Imperial Darth Vader et al would be more politically aligned with the republican party, not the democrat party.

Otherwise, you've only laid down a very light overwrite of largely well known material.
Hardly political satire (even if you had the correct parties identified).



So, what you do now is go back, read a little wikipedia on the republican agenda, then rewrite this with that material.
It'd probably make considerably more sense = more favorable response.

RayW,


I think you need to do a little more research on your "Political Parties", too!


Democrats back NSA Eavesdropping, large tax increases, and an unsustainable national debt. They thrive on legislating new regulations that kills business and jobs. They leave people to die in Benghazi and then lie about it to the public. They use government agencies (IRS) to target opposition groups while boasting of "We love everyone!" They are pussies. They do not abide by the Constitution and promote Socialism. ......They are "Progressives"

Republicans are NOT "Conservatives". They back NSA eaves dropping, larger government and increased regulations. They push draconian laws (like the Patriot Act) which kills Freedom and Liberty. They engage in wars that they don't know how to finish. They support increasing the national debt if it will get them reelected. They are pussies. ......They are also "Progressives".

The Tea Party ARE "Conservatives". They back individual Liberties and Freedoms. They are similar to libertarians, but without all the anarchy. They believe you should be able to pursue your dreams without the government stealing your hard work. They believe in the smallest government possible is the best approach. If you want to be gay? ...Be gay. Wanna smoke pot? ...Smoke pot. Want to believe a certain way? ...Go for it ....as long as you don't hurt someone else along the way. Want to be a citizen? Go for it, but do it legally. They insist on a balanced budget, lowered debt and fiscal responsibility. They are not pussies. ...They are not "Progressives".

-Birdman

 

[Inarius]

Democrats, Republicans... Master Yoda is gonna kick their ass!

 

[rayw]

I think you need to do a little more research on your "Political Parties", too!

Yeaaaaah...

I'll do that.

Republicans = Conservatives = closer to a dictatorship = more like Darth Vader & Emperor.
Democrats = Liberals = closer to socialists = more like the rebel alliance.
Tea Party = Conservative extremists = VERY close to dictatorship = not relevant to the screenplay presented.

 

[Will Vincent]

little L libertarian, get off my damned lawn.

 

[ChimpPhobiaFilms]

Yeaaaaah...

I'll do that.

Republicans = Conservatives = closer to a dictatorship = more like Darth Vader & Emperor.
Democrats = Liberals = closer to socialists = more like the rebel alliance.
Tea Party = Conservative extremists = VERY close to dictatorship = not relevant to the screenplay presented.

 

[DeJager]

There are three types of republicans:

1. People with lots of money. The republican party is most likely to protect their interests.
2. Ultra-religious Christians who want to force their religion on others.
3. Stupid people.

This should get you banned. Not only are you making fun of a large part of the US population, you're also attacking members of this forum such as myself. You should be ashamed of your behaviors. IT has no place for people such as yourself who are going to be so nasty. Have some class.

 

[DeJager]

After reading this thread, I'm in awe at how sad some of you must be with your lives.

For any new IT members or potential members, please disregard the arrogance some of commenters on this thread have shown. Not everybody at IT is a hate mongering troll. I don't care how many posts you have (cough cough, Ray), have some class.

 

[Aspiring Mogul]

It did make me chuckle though.

That's all i wanted. So I succeeded.

 

[Will Vincent]

I agree, DeJager.

I'm actually fairly surprised this thread has lasted as long as it has. Several years ago there was virtually no tolerance for political discussions, and rightfully so there's no real reason for it on this forum.

Based on past threads there are probably quite a few participants of this thread that would have been banned by now.

 

[ChimpPhobiaFilms]

While I do think that political satire such as the one posted will almost always inevitably lead to political discussion and debate, this IS a filmmaking forum and we shouldn't be having discussions like this, insulting people and throwing out "harmless jokes". Not that I'm pointing a finger at anyone, I contributed to the problem as one of the first commenters to contribute a political video.

Several years ago there was virtually no tolerance for political discussions, and rightfully so

Regardless of my or anyone else's political ideas, this is a great point. I'm noticing that there are more than 10+ guests viewing the thread and we should stop starting topics like this to not drive away potential members or insult anyone.