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screenplay Money for nothing... and your script for free

We all know the usual script scams, ludicrous screenwriting contests or websites that offer access to industry heavyweights for a monthly fee. They all have one thing in common, they at least make an effort and have a really big fake promise of fame and riches for the lucky winner. It seems the bar has been lowered significantly based on an "offer" I got this morning. It seems writers are so desperate that the scammers no longer need to pretend there's anything to win. I mean nothing at all, it's hit new levels of shithousery.

The website ***** have cordially invited me to send them a completed screenplay and an as yet undetermined cash "donation". To what do I owe this honour? What will I get in return you ask? Well, Terhi Kylliainen might read it and tell me what she thinks. So I know you're thinking wow! The one and only Terhi Kylliainen! She produced that dinosaur film? Where do I sign up? No, not that dinosaur film, the other one. What, other one? You know the one where the guy finds a dinosaur. But that was the other one! No it wasn't! Her dinosaur film won the Jury Award at the Lucas Film Festival! George Lucas has a Film Festival? No he doesn't. Then why is it called The Lucas Film Festival? I don't know, it's German. German? Yea, Germans make films. I know but do they have to call it Lucasfilm? Isn't that confusing? Look you're getting dragged into the detail, let's get back to the "Offer". OK but I still want to know about that German George Lucas guy!

Anyway, like I said she produced the dinosaur thing, but that's not all. She's also listed as "Additional Cast" on the film Getaway with Ethan Hawke, and almost 3% of critics gave that one a positive review. She has the honour of being listed as "Assistant to the Producer" on a film called Legendary, the one where Dolf Lundgren finds a dinosaur in China. So there seems to be a theme running through her body of work and now she's looking for her next project. If you send over a screenplay and some money they'll pick 10 lucky "Winners" and Terhi will give you her feedback. With credentials like that you know the pearls of screenwriting wisdom she's capable of imparting to those of us who have never reached the heady heights of "Assistant to the Producer" on a Dolf Lundgren film. Unfortunately I don't have any suitable dinosaur scripts but if you do, why not send them to Terhi, along with a "Donation" of course and maybe she'll turn it into "a reminder of the dangers in attempting to speed past coherent editing, character development, sensible dialogue, and an interesting plot", as one critic said of her previous work. Seriously, people actually believe this is a prize worth winning. If like me you think this is the most pathetic, can't even be bothered pretending, excuse for a scam please let me know. Because I'm starting to feel like the only muggle at Hogwarts.
 
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indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
Unique spam, I must say. Bash the company so it's believable and we keep the hyperlink for your SEO. HAHA!
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
Unique spam, I must say. Bash the company so it's believable and we keep the hyperlink for your SEO. HAHA!
Can't believe i fell for it, now what am I going to do with this damn dinosaur script??

Does anyone want to buy it? here is the logline.
"One man is on a mission to prove the brontosaurus never existed. An evil, mysterious group will do anything to silence him."

I've raised $500 on the gofund me if any assistants to producers would be willing to read and provide notes.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
You always know it's spam when they copy and paste it here and you google a snippet and they pasted it on reddit and other forums.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
You still have Pool Shark!
The pool area has been under construction but it's finally finished, biggest deck i've ever seen.
pool lights will be operational again too for the first time in years.

so yeah maybe this summer i can make pool shark happen!! I was actually thinking about that just now.
That maybe I should send out a copy to ella and put it on the calendar right after mad grandma.
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
I'd RATHER watch POOL SHARK.

Is that why you didnt comment on the Mad Grandma thread ?

eddie murphy grandma GIF
 
Is that why you didnt comment on the Mad Grandma thread ?

eddie murphy grandma GIF
LOL. Naaah. I figured you had more than enough opinions to work with in that thread. I'll be honest... I've NOT written a ton of shorts in my life. I started out writing features and although I've read a LOT about making shorts and writing short scripts? I'm not nearly as competent with THEM as I am on a full length narrative feature.

Having said that? If I don't feel I can offer any real additional insight to what's already in the thread? I don't.
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
LOL. Naaah. I figured you had more than enough opinions to work with in that thread. I'll be honest... I've NOT written a ton of shorts in my life. I started out writing features and although I've read a LOT about making shorts and writing short scripts? I'm not nearly as competent with THEM as I am on a full length narrative feature.

Having said that? If I don't feel I can offer any real additional insight to what's already in the thread? I don't.
So what you're saying is the script was so perfect there is nothing more that can be improved.

dumb and dumber thread GIF


lol jk i made a couple improvements this morning actually.
locked down the location yesterday!! film is greenlit and both kids from the last movie and the fostermom are all on board for the production.

Getting the gang back together
 
So what you're saying is the script was so perfect there is nothing more that can be improved.

dumb and dumber thread GIF


lol jk i made a couple improvements this morning actually.
locked down the location yesterday!! film is greenlit and both kids from the last movie and the fostermom are all on board for the production.

Getting the gang back together
Uh... No. Not saying that at all. LOL.

If you want me to take a look at your latest version however? Always happy to do so.
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
Uh... No. Not saying that at all. LOL.

If you want me to take a look at your latest version however? Always happy to do so.
Yeah I'd appreciate that since it's going into production! Looking like month of May.
The link is kept up to date through google drive version control
 
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People have no shame. I see this kind of thing all the time. The illustrious "Mr Thompson" invites all you wannabees to compete for his favor in the super elite "west Virginia regional film expose" that has produced international hits such as "my cousin goes to the post office" and "a very unitarian christmas" for a mere 2500 USD, you too can become one of the select few that bathes in the glory of his assistant grip credit from season 14 of Oprah. For an additional "future success fee" you can receive spam emails from a robot, and a pocket divining rod that points to scripts that will succeed.

May the light of Derek's invincible diamond shine through you.

 
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