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Constantin

Constantin

Twin Fate

Separated at birth, twin brothers from vastly different worlds escape their oppressive upbringing and, by fate, reunite on the streets of New York. Together, they embark on a perilous journey to find their birth mother while evading those from their troubled past who threaten to tear them apart.
 
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I asked chatGPt to revise it for you

After being separated at birth and raised in vastly different worlds, twin brothers reunite by chance on the streets of New York. Determined to find their birth mother, they embark on a treacherous journey, dodging those from their troubled past who seek to tear them apart.
 
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Constantin said:
Twin Fate

Separated at birth, twin brothers from vastly different worlds escape their oppressive upbringing and, by fate, reunite on the streets of New York. Together, they embark on a perilous journey to find their birth mother while evading those from their troubled past who threaten to tear them apart.
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sfoster said:
I asked chatGPt to revise it for you

After being separated at birth and raised in vastly different worlds, twin brothers reunite by chance on the streets of New York. Determined to find their birth mother, they embark on a treacherous journey, dodging those from their troubled past who seek to tear them apart.
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they are similar but yours, I mean ChatGPT's is better. Damn, that thing is gonna put a lot of screenwriters out of work .. lol
 
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Constantin said:
they are similar but yours, I mean ChatGPT's is better. Damn, that thing is gonna put a lot of screenwriters out of work .. lol
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It's not good at original thought, terrible at humor, really bad at dialogue with subtext, etc
We're safe for now -- it's actually a great tool for screen writers, as just demonstrated by helping with your logline.

It would never come up with that logline on it's own, sounds like a good story.
 
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I was intrigued and signed up to ChatGPT. Wow, this thing is scary. You're right about some of its limitations, though -- it cannot create a long screenplay and definitely jumps around your story ideas, but for small beats and select scenes, it does a pretty good job. Perhaps it is my fault as I am not providing it with the correct prompts or follow-ups responses to correct it.
 
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sfoster said:
I asked chatGPt to revise it for you

After being separated at birth and raised in vastly different worlds, twin brothers reunite by chance on the streets of New York. Determined to find their birth mother, they embark on a treacherous journey, dodging those from their troubled past who seek to tear them apart.
Click to expand...
I'd shorten it a bit:

Separated at birth and raised in vastly different worlds, twin brothers reunited by chance on the streets of New York embark on a treacherous journey to find their birth mother.
 
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I have spent my morning playing around with ChatGPT and I have been struck with important discoveries.
  • It is remarkably capable of understanding concepts, even those that are abstract and highly nuanced.
  • It does not do such a good job of taking those concepts and weaving an engrossing story.
  • Dialogue is very bad and on the nose. As I am terrible at dialogue myself, the fact that I think the dialogue sucks tells you how bad ChatGPT's dialogue is.
  • Character portrayals are often cartoonish and not well established
I will open a thread, detailing the chat I had with ChatGPT to show you what I found. I hope this will open some dialogue within our forum on ways we can improve the prompts and perhaps have some fun with ChatGPT.
 
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I like loglines short and sweet. Of course this isn't perfect. Tried to cram some important stuff in there though.

Troubled twin brothers separated at birth meet by chance and team up to find their birth mother.
 
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Troubled twin brothers separated at birth meet by chance and team up to find their birth mother.
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Now that's pretty darn tight! I guess the question then becomes -- when is a logline too terse vs too verbose? Is there a happy medium ?

Tight Tight... Yeah!!
 

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I like to keep it lean an adhere to the basic formula. You can always add more once you get it lean.
  • A description of your main character Troubled twin brothers separated at birth
  • The inciting incident or event that triggers your story meet by chance
  • The action your character takes or the struggle or obstacles they face and team up
  • The goal to find their birth mother.
 
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I like to keep it lean an adhere to the basic formula. You can always add more once you get it lean.
  • A description of your main character Troubled twin brothers separated at birth
  • The inciting incident or event that triggers your story meet by chance
  • The action your character takes or the struggle or obstacles they face and team up
  • The goal to find their birth mother.
Click to expand...
Ahh I see ... Reduce the story into those four bullet points, and wrap it up into a sentence or two. Nice
 
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I think it depends on how important certain details are.

I find the idea that they were raised in vastly different worlds (or circumstances) interesting & it would make me more likely to check it out.
Likewise, I find the idea of a "treacherous journey" more interesting than the idea that they're using Google or AI while sitting at a computer in order to find their birth mother.

In other words, it's your call :)
 
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I find the idea that they were raised in vastly different worlds (or circumstances) interesting & it would make me more likely to check it out.
Likewise, I find the idea of a "treacherous journey" more interesting than the idea that they're using Google or AI while sitting at a computer in order to find their birth mother.
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Perhaps you can have multiple versions of a Logline ... For example, in Webtoons, they give the author a certain amount of room to describe the story and updates...

1677957378353.png

I don't really like the example above, but you get the gist.

In Netflix, you do not have that much room to describe the story, so maybe you can have a shorter version of the Logline.
1677957920256.png

I struggle with loglines and usually tend to make them too long... It is an art form in and of itself ...
 
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So when they meet by chance in NYC will it be in Times Square as they are crossing the street and it's like looking in the mirror, they freeze, and there's some cool 360 swirling shots showing the trailing lights of Times Square? LOL. No really, that could be cool ha.
 
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