OUTER SPACE - ALIEN SOLAR SYSTEM
Endless stars twinkle. A blanket of scintillation for a rolling planet.
With the lights of civilization peeking through a sparkling, dusty cloud cover, the planet soars away, revealing long lines leading to massive ships the likeness of ancient asteroids.
The asteroids tug the planet off into deep space, joining a stream of worlds evacuating the dense solar system.
***How do we know they're evacuating the solar system? Is there a voice-over?***
One planet still lies in orbit. Wispy clouds, green hugging its equator, blinding, sporadic pulses of light alluding to the utter emergency below the atmosphere.
Suspended in the sunshine, tethered to its surface, an asteroid ship thrusts, feeble, powerless on its own.
The minuscule vessels of the planet's inhabitants flee past the asteroid ship. An exodus glinting in the sun.
***The problem is there are no characters for me to get attached to. I don't care about any of these people at the moment. For all I know it could be a good thing that they're dying. ***
On the dark side of the planet, the pulses of light spread and grow into an intense strobe covering the surface.
***OK, but again, it looks like this'll be expensive to shoot. If you don't have a ton of money I don't know if it'll work.***
Fiery projectiles exit the atmosphere and fly into space toward the darkened moon; they're shooting at something.
A pitch black amoebic hole approaches the moon, blotting out the bright nebulae behind. Silhouetted tendrils writhe outward, wrapping into the moon's surface.
***Effective if done right, but there are too many players in the opening, I think. Who are the audience rooting for? What are the stakes?***
It cracks, breaks, ripped into flaming pieces, shedding a brief, dying light on THE TITAN, a shrouded beast.
The moon burns up entirely, devoured, and the Titan returns to invisible blackness, bearing down on the frantic planet.
***How do we know the planet's frantic? Shots of people running and screaming?***
Absorbing the harmless weapon's fire, its tentacles dip through the planet's atmosphere. A feast.
Coiling around the countryside, suffocating the green plant life, searing deep lesions into the surface. The titan wrenches the planet into burning, bite sized chunks.
***This is visually arresting, a scene that sticks in my mind. Maybe it should be nearer the start***
The asteroid ship drops its lines to the lost planet, dives away, passing the snail's pace exodus that begins to helplessly gravitate backward.
Each little vessel climaxes on the festering wall of darkness in a burst of exposing light.
***Too many adjectives. I would give the DP/CGI guys something more concrete.***
The asteroid ship screams from the system.
The lights dotting its surface dim away into hibernation as it finds its speed across the depths of space.
Looming behind, revealed in intermittent flames, the Titan's black abyss turns, follows.
***Why should I care about these people? Give me a reason to like them.B]
