Wow! Thanks for the responses guys. I'm getting a lot of good ideas for changes here. Namely making Nico a driving force in how the story develops, rather than a relatable guy caught up in a tossy-turny world as he is now.
As far as visually expressing the alienation, I've taken the route of capitalizing on the idea of 'cleaning robots', consistently erasing evidence of human life on the moon. Foot prints, hand prints, dirt, trash. The place looks the same every day as if no one lived there at all. I expose this through action lines as the story goes along (Nico is always eating something*Titan*, attempting to make a mess, subconsciously wanting to leave evidence that he exists, make up for a childhood he never grew out of) and a Robotic Bar Keep (lovably buffoonish, but nonetheless a painful
simulation of good company), as well as my female lead, which is the quintessential 'down to earth' female, a fresh transfer from Italy just as Nico has to leave. Nico is immediately attracted, as she contrasts so heavily with her gal-pal (a cliche'd sci-fi culturette. Fiberoptic hair, flashiness, covering up the fact that she's an animal etc.)
You could open with him at the card table and as he is playing and winning, (everybody likes a winner!) we will grow attached to Nico and what happens to him.
He's not literally gambling at a card table. My bad. He finds a loophole in the bureaucracy in that the Riot Police will place new recruits wherever they need them (Nico's brother is a captain in the riot guard on Earth, and takes the brunt of the storyline in the renegade uprising later on). His brother is caught assisting the underground (The reason Nico is sent to Mars, creating relationship tension in the only family he has) in inciting riots to pump up his record, and consequently, force transferred down to the monotonous record keeping, where he is involved in the leak when the mars footage unexpectedly comes streaming in.
This is how I open up on Nico's world, before we even see Nico.
EXT. MOON - AMERICAN LANDING SITE - NIGHT
Work lights bathe mechanical 1960's American Astronauts while they reenact the moon landing.
TECHNICIAN #1, dressed for a space walk, stabs into one of the astronauts, cutting it open.
It powers down and locks up. The technician strips off the space suit, mending a broken solder on the horrifying mess of wires and rigid metal.
The jaw clacks with movement, airing a garbled recording.
ASTRONAUT #1
(recording)
--one giant leap for mankind--
echoes of orwell .. a black boot steeping on a human neck forever..
My very initiating Idea was to think of a big brother government with the best of intentions. It's more or less how they are portrayed =)
I could go into more detail, but I think my problem lies more with making my (A) story an actual (A) story than visually expressing my ideas. I'm well practiced in visually representing my ideas, not so much with summarizing them.
If anyone is interested and actually has time to read the whole thing, send me a PM or something. You've all been very helpful!