Okay, well this is gonna take a while. My response to each of the movies mentioned:
"Edge of Darkness" just felt too conspiracy-theory 101 to me, like the whole thing was paint-by-numbers. On the plus-side, this movie did remind me why I like Mel Gibson, as an actor.
"The Expendables" -- were all the FX done in AE? Seriously, those blood-splatters were so fake-looking. Pulled me out of the moment, every single time. For this kind of movie, I expect practical effects. They should actually blow something up. I was hoping for something like the most recent "Rambo" (which is fucking rad). Also, none of the humor worked for me, not one bit of it. None of those actors get comedy, in my opinion.
"Green Zone" -- see my opinion on "Edge of Darkness". Plus, I personally don't think Greengrass' filmmaking techniques really ramp up the tension in the same way that so many other people seem to experience.
"Brooklyn's Finest" -- Who's story is this? How are these stories related to each other? Is this supposed to be a crime-drama version of "Crash"? If it weren't for some MAJOR coincidence at the end of this movie, we're just watching three unrelated stories, none of which really have a very engaging conflict, or hero, in my opinion.
"Human Centipede" -- Blech, what a horrible flick. I'm not offended by the premise -- that's why I watched it. I'm bored to death by the complete lack of tension, and offended by the extreme stupidity of the story. Every five minutes, this movie insults the audience's intelligence, with characters that don't resemble anything even remotely close to real human beings. Ok, so you've been locked in the basement for many hours, while your captor has been upstairs. Now that your captor is standing in front of you, ready to inject you with anesthetic, now you finally decide to try and escape. It takes you all of 30-seconds to almost effortlessly tear off your shackles. Seriously, the thought never occured to you in the many hours prior to this? This is but one example of MANY plot-points that are just-plain stupid.
ROC -- which movie did I give a good grade to, that you worked on?
Papertwin -- Tickets, yes. Popcorn, no. Couldn't afford it, otherwise.
"From Paris, with Love" -- It's Travolta's ridiculously over-the-top performance that got me, in this one. I laughed so many time, for this reason alone. Otherwise, this movie's pretty bland.
"Machete" -- Whereas "Planet Terror" was a wonderfully funny send-up of B-movies, "Machete" is just a B-movie. WTF?
"Sherlock Holmes" -- I really liked the chemistry between the two leads, and the action pieces were entertaining to me. The overrall story was a tad boring, and now that I think about it, maybe B- is too high. Maybe more like a C+.
"Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" -- This movie has too much character developement, and not enough story. In my opinion, every single scene in a movie like this, should have some sort of bearing on solving the mystery at hand. Yet, this one just plods along, taking us on detours that lead us nowhere. Worst example? WTF is up with that torture scene? At first, I was like, "yeah, get that bastard". Then, as the movie wore on, I realized that a great deal of the beginning of the movie has absolutely NOTHING to do with the storie's main conflict. I felt bamboozled by having to watch this gratuitous torture scene. I'll bet Fincher will rock the hell out of this movie.
"The Other Guys" I did enjoy. I laughed hysterically when they jumped off the building. Unfortunately, the movie loses it's steam when the comedy gives way to buddy-cop-action, poorly excecuted.
"The Social Network" -- I fail to see the three-act arc. It's just a history lesson. A really interesting history lesson, with terrific acting. But there's nothing for me to latch onto, in the traditional storytelling methods.
"The Crazies" -- Gratuitous violence, no suspense.
"G.I. Joe" -- Horrible CGI, and I do mean HORRIBLE. Nonstop failed attempts at humor.
"Hot Tub Time Machine" -- Joke-a-minute, and many of them work. But many of them don't.
"Law Abiding Citizen" -- never saw it, cuz the premise just seemed WAY too outlandish for me, and reliable sources whom I trust, confirmed my suspicion.
"Clash of the Titans" -- I also grew up on the original, and that just adds to my resentment for this abomination.
"Pandorum" -- Too much of a copy of previous films to get my interest. I'm okay with repeating what has worked before, but you better find a way to make it fresh, and it better be effective. This one's too middle-of-the-road rehash for me.
"Salt" -- Oh, wow, I could not stand the extreme levels of implausibility. This ranks as one of the most unbelievable storylines I've ever seen.
"Daybreakers" I appreciated a little bit for the futuristic sci-fi world they created for a future run by vampires. That kept my interest for a little while, before the movie ran amok. Also, the scene in which the dude exploded had me in stitches.
OKAY! Hope I didn't offend anyone with my takes on the movies that you think I should've rated higher. Needless to say, this is purely subjective, and nothing more than conversation.
Cheers
