best line of dialogue you've ever written

[clive]

Hi Guys

Some days you sit at the word processor and a great line spews out, so here's a chance to share it with the world.

However, I'd like to suggest that we write it without giving any context ... so don't tell me where it happens in the film or who says to whom. Just let the line stand by its glorious self.

Here's mine

"God damn it, if I asked you to throw your ass on a grenade there wouldn't be all this bitching ... All you've got to do is stick your tongue in this marine's mouth ... and look like you mean it!"

 

[Nique Zoolio]

this is the only one i can think of off the cuff:

WOMAN
Have you heard they're making a film of Ulysees?
MAN
That'd be stupid.
WOMAN
You'll see.

 

[VPTurner]

"Just put it in a body bag. This one's to go. We're having leftovers."

"If I had half a brain... Oh, wait. I do have half a brain."

"What's that in your pocket? Viagra?"

One of my favorite one-liners is from the movie "Hook":

"If I'm a maggot burger, why don't you just EAT ME!"

 

[Spatula]

"Why don't you Global Warming the hell outta here?!?"

 

[Loud Orange Cat]

Man 1​

Ow! that hurt!

Man 2​

Then maybe you should
stop doing that.

 

[Spool Productions]

"i don't want to be a product of my enviroment, i want my enviroment to a product of me"

 

[CrazyFrazee]

Danny (a girl)
We suck on our thumbs because we miss our mama’s tit.

Joseph
I stopped sucking my thumb a while ago.

Danny
Why, find somebody else's tit?

Joseph
Are you asking me if I'm single?

 

[stupidmoviescrew]

"Really now you really think that stapping myself will kill me?"

 

[Jbreck]

"At least you’d be getting some then. Or it’ll be getting you. Either way, the prison‘s cigarette economy picks up."

 

[spinner]

"At least you’d be getting some then. Or it’ll be getting you. Either way, the prison‘s cigarette economy picks up."

I recognize this line, I just don't know from where....


-- spinner

 

[Jbreck]

I recognize this line, I just don't know from where....


-- spinner

I hope not.

A. I either unintentionally stole it from somewhere.
B. Someone stole it from me. In which case, it's copyrighted, please tell me where

 

[spinner]

....well, maybe it sounds like something I heard, strangely I've seen about three things lately involving someone in prison and cigarettes. One movie was "South Central", but that wasn't exactly a humorus film....

....good line, though

-- spinner

 

[caseyhein]

You can only look for the devil for so long until you find him

 

[Buddy Greenfield]

SKIMPY: Dude trust me, it will look so tits that you’ll actually see breasts on screen!
DANK: What if its footage of actual breasts?
SKIMPY: Then you’ll see more breasts, and God!
DANK: Shit, what if its-
SKIMPY: Then you’ll go fucking blind, how should I know!!

-Thanks-

 

[Graeme]

JESSICA
(self)
Well, then I'm going to die.

 

[Gonzo_Entertainment]

Woman to her 7 year old son:

"Goddamnit, I knew I shoulda had that abortion!"

 

[Lucky Hardwood]

"Hipster wannabes, the genital warts of humanity."

 

[Lucky Hardwood]

"Technically, I am not a serial killer."

 

[Jack Lynt]

Lol. Oh my.

Sorry, I don't have one. If I did, I'd be reluctant to post it.

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

ROBERTA AZZURRA

They were blown to bits by land mines. That must’ve flipped them out.

ARTEMIS

No! They knowingly got blown up.

GAIL STORM

What? That’s crazy!

ARTEMIS

Yes! Their insanity grows like a cancer, as does their lust to conquer all.

GAIL STORM

You look like a dead ringer for Artemis of Earth.

 

[jrusso]

"Don't worry, I'll water your plants while you're getting ass raped in prison."

April Fools Day - Short Film 2014 - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3971122/