best line of dialogue you've ever written

clive

clive

Hi Guys

Some days you sit at the word processor and a great line spews out, so here's a chance to share it with the world.

However, I'd like to suggest that we write it without giving any context ... so don't tell me where it happens in the film or who says to whom. Just let the line stand by its glorious self.

Here's mine

"God damn it, if I asked you to throw your ass on a grenade there wouldn't be all this bitching ... All you've got to do is stick your tongue in this marine's mouth ... and look like you mean it!"
 
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Thou shall not worship false idols, that includes danishes.
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That's a funny line. Some words are just funny. Danishes is one of those words. When I was brain storming ideas for my next movie I came up with "The Cereal Killer - A checkout girl with obssesive compulsive disorder murders anyone who messes up her perfect display of Coco Pops." It's a film I'll never make, write or do anything with, but it's funny just because I used Coco Pops instead of Cherios for the cereal.

This is what I like about language. So, for instance, anything becomes both surreal and funny if you put the word monkey in front of it (ironically, except the word monkey)

So Monkey Trousers, Monkey Nibbles, Monkey Table, Monkey Fudge (fudge is another great word) ... and of course taking htis theory to it's zenith ... therefore Monkey Danishes ought to be hillarious ... :lol: Yep ...works for me.

Actually wasn't Monkey Danishes a long lost Marx Brothers movie that got lost in the 1927 studio fire.
 
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"It's a film I'll never make, write or do anything with, but it's funny just because I used Coco Pops instead of Cherios for the cereal."

If you can get Coco Crisp -- centerfielder for the Boston Red Sox -- attached, you may get some studio backing.

"Actually wasn't Monkey Danishes a long lost Marx Brothers movie that got lost in the 1927 studio fire."

If I ever open a bakery, Monkey Danishes will certainly be on the menu.
 
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NARRATOR (v.o)

That was Steve. His way of making a sale was to talk his customers into a coma, forcing them to part with their money before they even knew what was happening. Sometimes people would buy just to make him shut up.

from "The Brokerage"
 
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I 've got a few to forward.

Now, why on God's green earth would a somnabulist need a stunt double...perilous inner landscape?

I warn you, I've a Vesuvian constitution.

Beauty fades upon the realization of cruel character, and I don't mean embroidery makes ya ugly.

If Sweetwater's got a Woolworth's, they'll stock Hexibipedalblazers.

Your muse gets any younger and you'll be screwing a strand of DNA in a g-string.
 
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From an ANCIENT script (the first one I ever started writing, and never got around to finishing):

“I call myself Jesus for two reasons. The first reason, is because I really respect the real Jesus for all the stuff he said in the bible. The other reason is because it helps me pick up chicks.”

From a short I'm working on called "Pootza Rooskie":

NORA: Why do I go out with you?

TORVALD: Because I feed your self-loathing. And I’m good in the sack.

NORA: I’ll give you the first one.

From an unfinished short:

"Well… it’s just regular Smithington tobacco, but I laced it with deadly poison. "

Another:

"Somebody else kill the Turkey. I need a vacation."

Funny enough, most of my favorite lines are from stuff I haven't gotten past the scripting stage... bah.
 
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"One day, maybe not this year, maybe not even this decade, but one day C-R-A-P won’t be needed anymore. And that day will be the day that California is free of all its annoying people."

"I just might do this one for free."

"She looks like she’s been put together with legos!"

I could go on...I slay myself!

Chris
 
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