Even if only Fred considers the car valuable still doesn't feel believable to ME that he would be running from the law and living out of a suitcase. As I said before, I have two friends that own wrecking yards and I've been to all kinds of wrecking yards over the last 40 years and I'm here to tell you... Everything is FOR SALE. System or not. In fact? I know the system you're talking about and all the wrecking yards in question would have to do is enter the sale into the system. The owner of the wrecking yard being too lazy? That would be just lazy writing in my humble opinion.
As a car enthusiast myself... A complete DIY mechanic and frequent wrecking yard shopper? Combined with being a professional screenwriter? This just isn't believable to me. You could EASILY come up with a much more believable beginning to this concept.
You said: For starters, the car he steals is not valuable but he thinks it is.
I'm not sure what that has to do with what I'm saying... Are you telling us that your Protagonist is more or less ignorant even though he himself is a car enthusiast? If so? That even sounds less believable to me.
You said: The aunt cant get ahold of Fred, but gets ahold of Fred’s mom, which is when she realizes Fred stole the car.
Okay... I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here since you've put all this up for feedback. But the aunt is older, correct? So why would Fred's mother AUTOMATICALLY jump to the conclusion that he stole the car? I don't know of anyone who would think like that right off the bat. Again, not believable to ME. Others mileage may vary. As Fred's mother, my immediate thought (especially IF I THINK I KNOW MY OWN SON) would be that the aunt is senile, had dementia, or just can't remember because of her age. I wouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion that Fred stole the vehicle. I think there would be much more BELIEVABLE ways for Fred's parents to find out he ended up stealing the car. Not only more believable but certainly more compelling than jumping to a conclusion. Consider coming up with one.
You said: While Fred does not have the money or resources to repaint the car, it does blend in with traffic because it is white and he puts bumper stickers on it (and periodically changes them).
We're now back to the police looking for the car... While I understand that technically, the car would have been entered into THAT system... Most police do not go out and search for stolen cars. Most of the time, police stumble upon stolen cars by accident i.e., pulling someone over for a traffic violation. As for money to paint the car? If it were ME and I wanted to drive the car -- or if I HAD to drive the car? I'd easily invest in 5 cans of spray paint and PAINT the CAR. And yes, I have done it before with only 5 spray cans. LOL. Again... Not to pick on you and your story... Not at all. Just telling you what I find believable and not believable.
You said: Again, no Georgia cops know to look for this car. Things spice up a bit when he is driving too fast late at night and he gets involved in another chase. Fred makes his way from the highway down dangerous curvy roads and the police give up the chase because its too dangerous to keep up with him. The next day, Fred is smuggly watching the news on a television in a fast food restauraunt when the police talk about a car chase last night. A robbery (that Fred had nothing to do with) happened at the same time in about the same area he was spotted in. The police assume Fred was one of the robbers and are searching for that car. The police also make the connection that it matches the description of the car stolen from North Carolina. This is when Fred goes into hiding.
Okay... I don't frequent fast food businesses that often but in the ones that I have? I've never seen a television in them. I have seen them in diners occasionally but not often. Be careful to not create unbelievable setups like this just so you can EASILY segue into the next scene or set of scenes. If the police saw the car and now KNOW without a doubt that the car is the stolen car from North Carolina? Fine. But here's the deal. Fred now goes into hiding over a car? Makes NO sense to me. If I thought the same way Fred is now thinking? I'd push that car off a mountain or sink it in a river or something. Any number of ways Fred could rid himself of that car.
In other words... It simply isn't believable to ME personally, that a person would RISK hiding out, living out of a suitcase because of a car he could simply get rid of -- no matter how much he loves the car. Hell, he could even part the car out... LOL. Although that wouldn't play well in a series or film.
Now I have a question... What is this supposed to be? Something you plan on making yourself? I read in an earlier post from you something about the word, "series," but I'm not sure what this is supposed to be.
Back in the 70s when I was a kid? 17? I had a friend who lived about 300 miles away from me who decided to steal a car, drive it to my place for a visit. Remember, this is the 70s and not present day with all kinds of computers, communication, and networks. Anyway, because I lived in the Sierra Nevada mountains of Northern California? There were plenty of places for him to ease the car off a cliff... Which he did. Why? Because he didn't want to get caught.
Your scenario? Either isn't believable as you've explained it OR your Protagonist just isn't very smart. Consider revising the beginning as to how he gets the car. I don't even see why the car has to be stolen in the first place if you're going to end up having the police think the car was part of the robbery. Just use that and let Fred get the car legitimately but in a way we've not seen before so it's at least interesting. The only problem I see with having the police think the car and eventually Fred was part of the robbery is now Fred has to figure out a way to prove himself innocent. Unfortunately? We've seen THAT a million times so unless you can come up with a way we've NOT seen it played out before? Could end up being a bit cliché.
Wow, thanks for the reply.
Ok, the junkyard not being able to sell a car system is going to be something I'm going to need to address. I did not actually know how it worked; I was somewhat still running off of the Cash4Clunkers rules which were that no cars or car parts were ever supposed to leave the system, but that had the government involved and tax dollars. So I'll come up with a slightly different way the ball gets rolling. Basically I want Fred to go from law-abiding citizen to criminal for a set period of time. He eventually has to redeem himself.
Up until this point, he doesn't have his own car. I mentioned that the car is not as valuable as he thought it was because someone pointed out to me that it seems silly to risk it all for a car that's not worth much more than $3,000. Fred is a naïve novice at this point, but I guess I don't need to overdo it.
Fred thinks he gets away with the crime (because it was more-or-less a victimless crime committed in another state). He essentially stole what the junkyard would consider roughly $500.00 in scrap metal. Fred left North Carolina in a hurry and was kind of rude to his aunt (which he regrets since it was an honest mistake they forgot he was coming since the arrangement was made a weeks ago and they just wanted it gone. When the aunt calls and gets ahold of Fred's mom, she doesn't KNOW right away that he stole it, but she gets suspicious. Fred's mom would ask questions and Fred would not answer consistently; his story falls apart and the truth comes out since Fred is not a great liar and he doesn't think more than 1 or 2 steps ahead. This was the original plan, I'll need to think how I want to proceed if the car is not stolen from a junkyard. Perhaps a local buyer ends up with the car (non-relative) and Fred tries to buy it from him but he refuses. Then Fred steals the car from an individual rather than a junkyard.
Unfortunately, a lot of my story really hinged on that Cash4Clunker program. Because after Fred turns himself and the car in, the police impound it and it becomes government property with no owner. The Cash4Clunker program was a short-term thing that only lasted a few months. The idea was that the police don't know what to do with it, so it stays in the police impound lot indefinitely. I figured the junkyard story would work too, since a junkyard would not go through a lot of trouble to haul a junk car 2 states over that they figured was lost anyways. Maybe the junkyard would want to be reimbursed for the theft in the form of cash, but they wouldn't come for the car itself.
ok, spoiler here. The car is white and he wants to keep it that way. He nicknames the car "Columbia" after the NASA Space Shuttle of the same name. The car is entirely white with black trim pieces. He does discretely place an American flag sticker on the driver's side door in the jamb (you can't see it when it is closed) and a U.S.A. sticker on the passenger door in the jamb so that when both doors are open you see an American flag on the left "wing" and U.S.A. on the right "wing" just like the Columbia Space Shuttle. Recoloring the car is not an option. The car is white with lots of black trim.
Ok, the news in a restaurant idea... literally came to me when I was eating my food in a local restaurant that had the news playing. I imagined my character feeling all smug seeing footage on television of the police being interviewed about a police chase the night before and he feels good about himself because all these cops were shocked at how hard it was to catch him and why they gave up. That feeling quickly disappears when they start taking greater interest in him and his car when they make the connection. Fred then leaves the restaurant suspiciously quickly and gets into his car. As he leaves the restaurant, a bunch of people watch as he leaves quickly and suspect he may be the guy the police are talking about (Fred now knows he can't go back to this part of town with the car again). This is supposed to be the point when Fred goes from being carefree to desperate and has to hide. He does try to ditch the car a couple times. One time he does it in the bad part of town, figuring someone else would break into it and get their fingerprints all over it (after he wiped his down). Just as he's leaving, he remembers that he might have left something valuable in the trunk of the car and hurriedly tries to get to he car and find it. He can't find it, then all of a sudden, a group of sketchy people are walking towards him. Fred says "screw it" after getting his fingerprints all over the car again and still not finding the thing he was looking for, so he drives off. He tries to ditch it again, by putting a car cover over it and leaving it in the corner of a parking lot of a business that doesn't get many customers. It stays there for a while until Fred reverses his decision again and needs the car again; but I'll explain that scene later.
Yes, this would be something I am making myself. I own three White thunderbirds that look the same. Same exterior color, same trim, same transmission and suspension. Interior colors are different, so I'm trying to get them to match. I went with black because of the Space Shuttle theme but also because I can easily color-match the other colored interior parts with black spray paint (only one of my Thunderbird has black interior from the factory). Ford blue and Ford Titanium interiors are harder to color-match exactly. The black interior will also make it easier for me to hide the rollcage I plan on installing in one of them. I figure tinted windows with black interior and a black rollcage would be harder for the audience to see than if the interior were any lighter color (even if the rollcage were painted to match). Heck, for the stunt-car, I might not even put in an interior (except for what is bare-bones essential) and just spray paint the inside of the car without padding or plastic trim. No interior shots will be done within the stunt car except maybe through the front windshield on the dashboard.
The reason for the simultaneous robbery that fateful night is significant for another reason. I figured Fred would be working a late-night job, like at a hotel. One night, some sketchy people are talking about stuff that is pretty sensitive and he kind of walks in on some of it. He doesn't hear much, but it's enough to make the guys conscious of Fred's presence and they watch him closely to see what he may do next. At this point, Fred calls the police. but just as the 911 operator picks up, one of the guys comes up to the front desk to ask a question, but he waits patiently for Fred to finish his call. Fred tries to speak in code to the operator to imply to send the police to his address (he pretends to order a shipment of something to that address). He hangs up and answers the sketchy guy's question, which ends up being something benign like wanting some towels or whatever. As soon as the guy rounds the corner, Fred darts for the nearby parking lot that his car is parked in under a cover. He wants to leave the hotel before the police arrive and to take his car with him. The sketchy guys notice him running and they chase him down. He partially uncovers the car just as the sketchy guys catch up and pin him to the ground. They figure Fred did something, like pulled a silent alarm or whatnot and they fear Fred will tell the cops all about what he heard them say. Seconds before they decide to kill Fred right there, they recognize the car under the cover. They ask if Fred was the one who outran the cops on the news. When Fred confirms, they greet him warmly because they said if it weren't for the fact he distracted the cops, they probably wouldn't have been able to complete their heist. They offer Fred a high-paying job as one of their drivers, figuring he could use the cash. Fred agrees, because he is strapped for cash, is desperate to be a part of a group that accepts him, is excited that he will get paid doing something he loves/is good at, and he is scared that if he says no, they may shoot him right there since he would be no good to them. He tells the group that he pulled a silent alarm and that they should leave immediately. So Fred helps the guys and himself escape into the night (down a backroad that helps them avoid cops). At this point, Fred leaves a normal job and opts for the dangerous one. Continuing his downward spiral that he must dig himself out of later.
Metaphorically, the car is supposed to be a sort of curse that Fred brings upon himself. He can never own it but it might as well be his vehicle. The car is simultaneously the thing that gets him into and out of trouble. The car is Fred's partner-in-crime that is always by his side until he turns himself (and the car) in much later.
Again, thank you for the feedback. I'll think about how I want things to get started, but I feel that now I have provided a little bit more context for the direction I want things to go. I will say that everything I am describing right now is what I am considering to be the first season. Season: 2 goes a completely different direction because it's about Fred trying to redeem himself for the terrible things he helped this corrupt group do. While he never kills anyone, he holds himself responsible for the lives that this group destroys while he was employed by them.