so if i'm on my own schedule i dont really need one i suppose right? maybe just a helper
No. If you're on your own schedule you dont really need one.
If you use a "helper" to do all the duties of an AD then you
are using an AD.
The point everyone is making that you are resisting is most
shoots can use that person on the set; the one who handles
all the little details allowing the director to direct. Call that
person a helper, call that person an AD. That job is important.
You said you were trying to understand. Now you know more
about how important an AD is even on low budget movies. You
sure are resisting using one. I suggest you do not use one. Using
someone who doesn't understand the job will only make things
more difficult. You don't need one for your shoot. But now you
understand why so many productions use one.
Even in films shot in a living room.