Whhaaaa. Let me let off some steam!!!

P

Phil_UK

Dont you hate it to?
You are waiting on a delivery, you are out and expect a family member to take the delivery? Great, I was gone and my brother was sleeping and didn't hear the bell!!!

ARGGGG!

Samyang 35mm F1.4 could have been here today! Gotta wait till tomorrow! FUUUUU

Anyone else wants to let off some steam?
 
I have effing idiots complaining about my three page SERIES OF SHOTS choreography for a three minute music video is too long - on a screenplay review site.
Dumb fuuuudge eaters!

And on another screenplay under public/community flogging they're complaining that my five clones in a five minute action short, that each get killed one a minute, don't have names so the readers don't "feel attached to them".
EFFFFFFFFF MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
They're GD clones!
Who gives a sh!te in a fudge-pie WTH their names are?!
They got a five, four, three, two, one minute shelf life on screen! Why complicate sh!t with names?
Stupid, muther flip-floppers!


FWIW, I don't feel any better.
They're still idiots.
 
What a bother. Can you not go to your local sorting office and pick it up?

Funnily enough, I do have an anecdote of my day to share.

It was planned that I would sell some of my duplicate/unwanted records. I was selling them to a UK based company, who I assume resold them, or collected them. Alot of them where handed down from my grandparents, or parents.

I was originally going to trade/sell them to a local record store, the oldest in all of europe. However, it closed for good recently. There's something harrowing about seeing a music store, in a music city, caged and empty.

So, the guy arrives, he goes through my collection. He was furious that I had listened to my records alot. They where no longer in the condition that he he either believed to be fit to sell to his market, or make enough profit to be worth taking. Note that there are no scratches. Just natural usage.

I was almost made to apologise for listening to music, and enjoying it.

Business perspective, I see his point. Rule one is to make profit, and always avoid risk.

From a music-lovers perspective, i.e working in a profession that is fueled by the love of just that, music, I felt sorry to see somebody who pursued a career doing something they love, and seeing it lose its merit, and buzz.
 
There is some stuff, which really makes you spin off.

I came home at 12:15 to see if the lens was here!

No, just a retarded card which says: "Pick up your package at a local depot"

Great, my local depot closes at frekkin 12PM :(
 
Phil_UK said:
There is some stuff, which really makes you spin off.

I came home at 12:15 to see if the lens was here!

No, just a retarded card which says: "Pick up your package at a local depot"

Great, my local depot closes at frekkin 12PM :(
Click to expand...

That's usually the case.

It's strange that they didn't just drop it off with a neighbour. Atleast it's not a weekend. You could have had to wait until Monday.
 
Phil_UK said:
Anyone else wants to let off some steam?
Click to expand...

Yes, as a matter of fact I do. Pass the mic.

>>rant<<

Gather 'round my brethren, for mine is a valuable lesson for those seeking to learn by example from the mistakes of others.

I don't ask for much when I'm on set, honestly, nothing really. I bring my own tools, I bring weather appropriate gear, I work hard, I don't make a ton of noise, and I'm reserved with my suggestions until it looks like the DP is looking for something.

I do this for a living, I love it, I love it so much that when my buddy calls me up and sez "Hey, my buddy is coming your direction and needs someone who can ac/gaff for their really small crew." I say "I got this man, thanks. I owe ya a beer!"

Then I do the gig for 1/3 my rate, no big deal. I like narrative, I don't work enough of it. Rates are variable anyway, and friend of a friend stuff isn't about the money in the first place. I like working with new (new to me as contacts) DoPs, I don't meet enough of those either. I not only don't mind that we go over 12 every day, I'm way into it. Hell, I feel weird if a narrative film shoot day is less than 12 hours, but that's another story. Let's get that last shot, the sun's in the perfect spot. Want every single fixture off the truck? Done. Let's rock this scene.

I only ask for one thing.

a lunch that is larger than the palm of my hand

Seriously. It doesn't even have to be hot. Hell it doesn't even have to be a lunch *break*. Call it walking lunch, done. Just please, for the love of all that is <insert here>, hand me a decent *amount* of food. Not some thin ass soggy piece of sauce/cheese/zilch pizza that has been sitting on set for the last 7 hours because there was never a lunch called, and the extras ate all the food anyway. Literally, one slice of boutique pizza smaller than the palm of my hand, at the end of the day, and that was described as the "food that was set aside for you guys" (2 of us specifically).

Please, young (and young at heart) Director/Producers; provide an ample amount of food. Seriously. All day. With an ample lunch in the middle, even if it is only 5 minutes talking through the next scene cramming down PB&J sammiches.

No. Really. You have no idea how welcome a plate of PB&J is in the middle of a long day on set until some PA wanders over and hands you one.

It doesn't have to be fancy, or expensive, or whatever. Just please ensure that there is enough of it. Here's the thing, we WANT to work on your films and cut our rates so that the films get made, but when we don't get fed it pisses us off and makes us think you don't know how to run a show.

Then you get all QQ on craigslist talking smack like "WHY DID YOU FLAG ME, OMG I R BESTEST FILM8KR ON JOOTUBES - TOTALLY LEGIT DO NOT FLAG." And wonder why that BitterOldVet is flagging your post - because he worked your last show and didn't get any food.*

>>/rant<<


Full Disclosure: I have actually had this experience enough times that I think it warrants a rant. The above is just an amalgam of my own experiences as well as those of other folks I know that do a lot of the same work I do. All of the examples are as generic as they are necessary for what passes for my general writing "style."


* - I also know of a couple examples of guys doing this. There are some hotheads out there.
 
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Note to self: feed David and he might just come to Florida and shoot a Star Wars Celebration 6 documentary with me for 1/3 his wage and a stay at the Hilton for 4 days.

Hmm...
 
David -
You conveyed your position beautifully.
I believe I understand the depth of fundamental human decency to provide sufficient amounts of edible food on set.

Alas, I am not a food oriented person.
I'm am a omnivorous stray dog scrounger/scavenger that gets giddy over last night's pizza for breakfast and lunch today.
Pizza curled up like an old shoe is heaven to me, although soggy boutique pizza sounds like munkey sh!te no matter the quantity.

I am genuinely perversely fascinated by people's neeeeeed for quality food, especially that which borders on a sexual fixation until satisfaction.

JULIE & JULIA only scratched the surface of this untapped and unexploited religious world of foooooood.
I wish I understood it better so that I could be more sensitive to the needs of normal people.

Dogs and chasing cars.
Kids and bubble wrap.
Adults and food.
Bizarre, but fascinating.
 
Nice post, David. Completely agree with your sentiments. I've been there before. Food, and GOOD food, is key. An absolute must for any production.

I was craft & caterer for a rinky-dinky indie film in Sacramento several years ago. I made sure there was something decent for breakfast (not just bananas and granola bars) and something way above average for lunch (not just bananas and granola bars). It got to the point that the only thing the cast & crew WERE looking forward to was lunch. Made me happy and feel like an integral part of production. They REALLY appreciated a hot lunch that would sustain them for the rest of the day since the producer didn't budget for dinner.

A well fed cast and crew will pretty much do anything you ask of them. A hungry, unsatisfied cast and crew quickly becomes resentful and cranky. Best to avoid that.
 
Riiiiight. ;) (j/k I dunno you at all, it's just fun to say "Riiiiiiiiiiiigggght" incredulously.)

Well, the OP was an open invitation, and I needed to get those words out of my head lest I kept it all bottled in. No bueno.

Anyway, you guys are freaking awesome - can always count on IT to lighten the mood.

Vader - As awesome as that sounds it also sounds like one of the least cost effective things I can think of doing for your project. Not because of me - I'm cheap (for better or worse - another thread on that someday perhaps) - but because of the travel/accommodations/food side of the equation. Nevertheless, check your PMs, if only so I can hear about what you're up to. :D
 
I have a rant, but it has nothing to do with filmmaking in any way shape or form, so I'll hold off ;)



Seriously, this is a great idea for a thread (and I am TOTALLY on board with the "feed your crew" idea-I would think more volunteer people would forgo asking for money if you just fed them-food can be quite the encouragement!)
 
I smell shorts.


Title: DELIVERY, MY A$$!
Mocumentary of stupid people doing stupid things involving the frustrating delivery of a simple GDMFing package!


Title:WHERE'S THE GD FOOD?!
Frustrated indie producer livens up the set while the director and DP endlessly debate how to shoot and light every scene by directing craft services to hide the food in new locations each day. When the props master gets involved things get really crazy.
 
rayw said:
I smell shorts.


Title: DELIVERY, MY A$$!
Mocumentary of stupid people doing stupid things involving the frustrating delivery of a simple GDMFing package!


Title:WHERE'S THE GD FOOD?!
Frustrated indie producer livens up the set while the director and DP endlessly debate how to shoot and light every scene by directing craft services to hide the food in new locations each day. When the props master gets involved things get really crazy.
Click to expand...

Those are cool ideas! Seriously they are-I expect someone to run with it. I've had experience doing a short ("Delivery Day") of waiting for a package....hmmmm....interesting idea :D

There could be some serious yuks with that food one :D
We could all participate, just provide a nice 7 course spread, steak and lobster being the first course ;)
 
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