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what do you think of this idea?

L

littleturtle

to get better in writing screenplays, i was thinking...

i'd watch a movie (any) and then write a screenplay for it afterwards the way i interpreted the story. would that be a waste of time or would it help? i have this story in mind that i already started writing the treatment for, but i'm having trouble coming up with those little scenes in between the important ones. i figure if i do this it would help me learn how to put a good story together on paper.

what do you guys think?
 
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There aren't any little scenes. They're all important.

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=save+the+cat&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&oe=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=11106892379880215412&ei=i9vfS_GkCozI8wTb1tHGCQ&sa=X&oi=product_catalog_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CCEQ8wIwAg#ps-sellers

Blake Snyder's "Save the Cat" offers a very defined structure - one that audiences have grown accustomed to, as well as some very good organizational tools for fleshing out your story. Personally, I don't think it's good to stick to formula as an edict, but when it works, it works. Use the rules when you want to; make up your own rules when you want to. But know the rules.

What's your story? Pitch it to us.
 
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You do what works for you. That’s what I think.

But based on this post and your other post about writing I get the
feeling you have bigger issues. Nothing that can’t be solved by a
lot of work and time and writing and reading.

As Cracker and barn said, those “little scenes” are essential to
the story. Without them you have no story. I get the impression
you just don’t have a story to tell. You have an idea, but so far
you don’t seem to have a story that will fill 90 minutes.

However, if writing a screenplay based on a movie you saw helps
you why would you NOT try it?

How many screenplays have you read?
How many screenplays have you read for films you haven’t seen?
How many screenplays have you read written by you peers?

And - seriously - do you really have a story that needs to be told
as a movie? Do you really have a story that needs 90 to 120
minutes to tell?
 
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Littleturtel,
You may not realize the detph of talent that are willing to help you. I mean serious help that would cost you thousands of dollars if you were in Hollywood.

Give us the story IDEA that you have in your head, and everyone will pitch in to help YOU turn that idea into a STORY. Dont worry about your "level" we know that you are young and aren't very sure what your doing, so am I (well not young, but Im not exactly sure what Im doing :) )

You story idea should be just one line. Like

"There is this guy who gets caught up in a conspiracy to kill his bosses wife, but he falls in love with her, she convinces him to kill the boss, but it was all a trick and the guy ends up in prison while the boss and his mistress, live off the insurance money in Mexico!"

Like the man said "Pitch" us your story. We really want to help and at a great price too!
 
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As to the OT,
I think thats a fine idea, you might though first want to READ the real screen play while watching the movie. Almost every movie screen play is online somewhere...

(can someone reply with a good link?)
 
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lol thanks ^^

i guess i might as well say it.

it's about a little boy who was raised alone by a single mother. they were poor and were constantly moving in with different men whom his mother used for financial support. because they really only had each other, they developed a really strong bond with each other. on his 7th birthday, his mother leaves him at his friend's house promising she'll be back with a present. she never comes back and the boy becomes devastated and tramautized since his mother was really the only one he had in the world. michael (the boy) is taken by child welfare services and later on adopted by the psychiatrist who was assigned to him. the psychiatrist then decides it's best for the child to completely forget about his mom because it would help him lead a normal life and this would be for the best.

we don't find out ^ until later on in the movie.

forward to the beginning of the movie:

little michael is all grown up (starting out on his own after moving into the city) but it shows (through the way he acts) that something is missing in his life. he still thinks that his parents (psychiatrist and his wife) are actually his parents. they do have a parent-son relationship, but it's just not the same. then a new girl is hired at his work and they become close. as they become closer he gets this weird familiar feeling. michael and the girl (friend his mother left him at) used to be friends when they were kids but niether actually realizes this. as their relationship grows, the girl finally remembers but chooses not to tell michael because of how it would affect him, although michael suspects something is wrong. anyways... his "parents" finally decide to tell him the truth after michael becomes suspicious and starts acting differently.

what happens in the end, i'll keep to myself :).

i'm still deciding on how exactly to tell the story. whether to tell it through flashback scenes or tell it via godfather 2.

see i have the actual story plot mapped out all in my head and in writing. the "little" events i have problem coming up with is things like... how michael and the girl's relationship grows... why michael becomes suspicious... things they remember they did when they were kids that help them realize the truth... those kind of things. also, i'm trying to add in subplots with his friends and work situations.

again, i am young and this is literally my very first screenplay. i understand these little things are important and didn't mean to belittle them by calling them little. i only called them little because in my head they're not the main scenes in the movie, rather the ones that lead up to them.

pls don't steal my idea lol.

ALSO: i have the screenwriter's bible on the way. i ordered it a couple of days ago and it should arrive sometime next week. :)
 
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directorik said:
You do what works for you. That’s what I think.

But based on this post and your other post about writing I get the
feeling you have bigger issues. Nothing that can’t be solved by a
lot of work and time and writing and reading.

As Cracker and barn said, those “little scenes” are essential to
the story. Without them you have no story. I get the impression
you just don’t have a story to tell. You have an idea, but so far
you don’t seem to have a story that will fill 90 minutes.

However, if writing a screenplay based on a movie you saw helps
you why would you NOT try it?

How many screenplays have you read?
How many screenplays have you read for films you haven’t seen?
How many screenplays have you read written by you peers?

And - seriously - do you really have a story that needs to be told
as a movie? Do you really have a story that needs 90 to 120
minutes to tell?
Click to expand...

i have read 4-5 screenplays but haven't actually read them all completely and analyzed every single scene. i have them all saved on my computer and usually i just watch a scene or two from the movie while i read along to its screenplay.

i have:
- eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
- the wrestler
- american beauty
- requiem for a dream
- the hurt locker (haven't watched it yet)

i don't know if you guys are familiar with my background but like i said last week... this filmmaking thing right here is almost like a life change for me. i dropped out college to pursue this 100%!!! i'm very serious about this. i understand my chances of failure are high, but i'm trying not to consider failure as an option lol. i'm trying to learn as much as i can on all the aspects of filmmaking (writing, directing, etc.) on my own through books, research on the internet, and by watching movies. until i can afford to go to an actual film school, this is all i have.

all the while i'm trying to earn money to help fund these ambitions...

i guess you can say i'm not a filmmaker yet, haven't actually made a film. but once i get an actual camera (not those $300 camcorders), then things should start rolling.

wish me luck lol. :lol:
 
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Hey Fellow Canadian,

As wheat said, its an interesting idea and I would suggest you think about your B-story (the story that you use to fill in the gaps, but combines with the A story at the end climax). My initial though is all those "little scenes" you are missing should be flashbacks to when he was a child, showing why he reacts the way he does even though he doesn't know why in the present.

That may work better for you rather than starting in the past and then moving to the present all in one go.

Cheers,

Graeme
 
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Your story isn't about anything.. or at least is buried so far down I cant see it.
Its just a slice of life, there's a story in there, we just need to uncover it..


Here is a story I dug out of it..

Michel and Julie are falling in love. Julie comes to suspect that they share a dark past that Michel does not remember. Julie investigates and learns that Michel parents are actually behavioral psychologists who, for research purposes and a miss guided sense of "good", have manipulated Michel in to forgetting his tortured past. Out of her growing love for Michel, Julie comes to believe that it would be best to support the delusion. Michel starts to see the cracks in his constructed past, and begins to doubt Julies love for him. As Michel tries to reconcile Jules obvious love with her deceitful behavior, he moves closer and closer to insanity. Michel's insanity turns violent and he kills Julie, hiding her body in a trunk in the apartment. As Michel is finishing up cleaning the mess, his parents arrive. They explain the truth of his past to Michel, they also excitedly tell Michel that they and Julie have been working on a surprise wedding!. Michel listens calmly until his mother asks.... "where is Julie by the way?" INSERT DRAMATIC ENDING HERE


Obviously this is not the story your writing (its yours though if you want it), but you can see that we don't really need to KNOW about all the past stuff, its back story, and leads to motivation of the characters, but is not really necessary for the narrative. "Michel had a rough child hood" is enough, at least for the story.

As Michel pieces it together we learn a little more each time. Each event that Michel goes through will reveal greater and greater emotional trauma.
Maybe during his first night in the city (a smallish event), he sees a hooker walking the street, and has a mini flash back.. he shakes it off as just odd. The next event is his meeting Julie, and he has another flashback, maybe a familiar woman being beaten by a strange man who is calling the woman a "whore"
Again, he shakes it off, and keeps .. Build this tension up until Julie declares his love for him and then he knows peace and happiness.. for a little while. .but then the memories keep coming back.. and well, you know the rest..


You'll want to create an 'inciting incident" something that DRIVES Michel to seek the truth, a general malaise is not going to be enough.

Have fun!
 
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Hi,
I feel the flashback method is good and you can show the mc and his wife are fighting without reason. They see a consultant who suggests him to see a Hypnotist . He traces the fact that the guy is an adopted son and he cannot love anybody .
padma
 
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One thought for their relationship is to put her (The Girl) on a sinking ship and set it adrift.

That is to say, as they (The Guy and The Girl) develop and grow closer, let him become more and more obsessed with his suspicions or memories or knowing the truth, and her more and more cornered by what she knows, to the point where the truth might set her free, but might also force her to deliver a devastating blow to someone she has fallen in love with.

She confronts the Adopted Parents who at 1st try to deny it, but ultimately can’t, yet are faced with and taxed by the knowledge of the Real Mother’s dark past and some pay-off hush "deal" they all made in his supposed best interest years early when the Real Mother came crawling out of the wood work.

The Adopted Parents plead with The Girl not to tell The Guy the truth as it is their responsibility.

Unable to face telling him, begged to not tell him, and no longer able to face him living the lie…
she pulls a Mama and bails on the relationship.


-Thanks-
 
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Story wise I like it, you have some very workable elements in the mix, but I can’t help seeing the tail of “Where’s the hook?” start to be chased round and round.

If the ending is some jaw a dropping twist, great. If not, then it’s not the end of the world, and you can very well have an interesting, thought provoking journey for the main character, but I think that character is going to have to blow us away, so that puts it back at what is the hook? What makes his trials and tribulations any more heartbreaking or interesting than any other adoption story?

I will venture a guess here:
Depending on how traumatized he was, 7 seems old to just forget the past, so going out on a limb (But not too far out on one) I suspect Padlock Holmes (Padnar’s) hypnosis observation is dead on. If I am completely wrong, I’ll live, but IF he in fact nailed it, then you have another very workable element creating a very cool mix, but STILL there will be that final jaw dropping twist/hook to create, the one that let us steer our suspicions one way from the start, only to blindside us with what we didn’t see, yet was there all along.

-Thanks-
 
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Buddy Greenfield said:
Story wise I like it, you have some very workable elements in the mix, but I can’t help seeing the tail of “Where’s the hook?” start to be chased round and round.

If the ending is some jaw a dropping twist, great. If not, then it’s not the end of the world, and you can very well have an interesting, thought provoking journey for the main character, but I think that character is going to have to blow us away, so that puts it back at what is the hook? What makes his trials and tribulations any more heartbreaking or interesting than any other adoption story?

I will venture a guess here:
Depending on how traumatized he was, 7 seems old to just forget the past, so going out on a limb (But not too far out on one) I suspect Padlock Holmes (Padnar’s) hypnosis observation is dead on. If I am completely wrong, I’ll live, but IF he in fact nailed it, then you have another very workable element creating a very cool mix, but STILL there will be that final jaw dropping twist/hook to create, the one that let us steer our suspicions one way from the start, only to blindside us with what we didn’t see, yet was there all along.

-Thanks-
Click to expand...

i'm sorry, can you explain to me and great detail what the "hook" is? is that like a reocurring theme? can you give me an example of a movie and its reoccuring theme?

thanks.
 
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Ill try to help..

A "hook" is that piece of a song that you cant get out of your head. in a movie its the "scene" or just the idea that first comes to mind when you think of a movie. Try this..
Whats the first scene that comes to mind when your read this title? "The Empire Strikes Back"

Most folks will say "well duh, its the "I am your father Luke" scene.. " that is a great hook. It changed everything about the entire film, and the previous films as well.

In Blade Runner, I always recall the "Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion" speech. This scene turns our notions of what a Replicant is.. upside down. With the final "Tears in rain" line breaking our heart.

In your story, you COULD present a possible explanation why Michel doesn't remember, which builds to a "hook" where you reveal the REAL explanation. The REAL explanation will fit the setup, but is completely different than what we expected earlier.

For example, you suggest through action and drama, that Michel cant remember because of some accidental head injury, car accident or what ever. Later your "hook" reveals that NO, its not the accident, it was his adopted parents using hypnosis to block his past! This makes the viewer re consider everything that they thought about the situation, re evaluating all the previous dialog they can remember.. and viewers love that and we are HOOKED on the story like a fiend to his dope!
 
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Wheat sums it up well.

I consider the Hook a few things:

1. THE HOOK = The conceptual story idea that makes it different from all other films.

2. The Hook = A line at the bottom of page 1 that grabs (compels, interest, hooks) the reader and makes them want to read page 2.

3. Twist/hook = Just a twist (unexpected turn of events or conclusion) that makes us say “Oh damn, I didn’t see that coming!”. I personally consider it a hook because in creating it, it can be much like coming up with the conceptual hook.

In my previous post I am refering to the conceptual hook, then the twist.

-Thanks-
 
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i still don't fully understand what the hook is, but i think i understand parts of it.

you guys' posts ^^ gave me a great idea though..

ok the movie starts off with the promise. what is the promise you ask? the promise is the scene where little 7 year old michael is left behind by his mother. his mother says her goodbyes, tells him how she loves her very much, she'll be back with the present...



and then.. the ending sequence could conclude the whole point to the story just like it should! the whole point of the story is how emotionally damaged michael was after his mother left him. so in one of the ending sequence scenes, it's little michael... sitting on a sofa holding hands with his best friend (the girl) with his backpack and toy just crying, while she tries to comfort him..

i have the PERFECT song in mind for this scene. perfect in every sense of the word.

i'm getting lots of great scenes in my head!!! lol thanks guys.

now the 2nd act.. how the story unfolds.. that's my biggest challenge..
 
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