What do you guys think?

[MGrinstead]

I have an idea for a film, opens with a guy about to commit suicide, he is emotionally dead and right at the end of the line. He turns the gun into his mouth and fires. The camera zooms straight into his mind, how ever that happens, and the film unfolds as his life flashing before his eyes. The highs, lows, everything in between including the moment that spurs his decision to suicide. The Audience will obviously know the ending before it happens, but the interest in it will be how he reaches that point.

What do you guys think?

 

[insert_cliche_here]

I think that could be quite interesting, but it could also be terrible. It all depends on the story obviously. I don't necessarily think knowing the ending from the start is a bad thing (although I know some would strongly disagree), as long as it's done right. My brain's not really functioning right now, but I think I got my point out :/

 

[MGrinstead]

Ha that's cool, thanks for the input.

 

[insert_cliche_here]

No probs good luck

 

[MGrinstead]

More opinions pleasseeeee.

 

[Buddy Greenfield]

It might be cool if he doesn’t fire. But we still travel down the barrel into his mouth and into his world (Or past or some such) to see what brought him there.

Maybe call it “Click” , and at the end this time there wasn’t a bullet in the revolver chamber, so -CLICK- when the hammer falls, and we see him put the gun back into a box and then go to bed (Or something) knowing in his world of clicks (cliques) and predicaments it's only a matter of time(maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe in a year from now) until there won’t be a click, there will be a –BANG- .

-Thanks-

 

[MGrinstead]

Yeah, I was thinking of having him botch it, like shoot himself but just seriously injure not kill. But your idea is sweet man, thanks for the input.

 

[Buddy Greenfield]

It might be weird if this guy was in some shit, and gonna check out, but did botch it and accidentally shot through an open window into another window accidentally killing the source of his troubles, or killing someone else that gives it a strange twist.

-Thanks-

 

[MGrinstead]

Cool man.

 

[harpsichoid]

Yeah, I was thinking of having him botch it, like shoot himself but just seriously injure not kill. But your idea is sweet man, thanks for the input.

I think it would be a good idea to leave the ending open, without giving any hint as to whether he actually decided to pull the trigger or not, just the events that led him to that point of desperation.

You'll find with depression that it's very easy to get yourself to a state where you're ready to kill yourself, but it needs a huge amount of willpower and energy to actually be pushed over the edge. I think it would be possible to show someone who is in this state of perpetuality- tired of life and curious about suicide but stay ambiguous about whether he has that final push.

You'll find a lot of art that explores suicide, but not as much that shows the torture of someone who has had enough but can't escape.

 

[Ccolebrook]

What you've described leaves out what would make this good or bad. It depends entirely on the flashback through his past. If we're sympathetic enough to him I'd care about whether or not he pulls the trigger.
Like...the opening could be fine. It's impossible to know because the meat of the story is going to be what makes it work or not. This is just a nice little jelly-bean opening.

 

[wheatgrinder]

You fixated on a visual effect and dreamed a story to match... interesting approach, if your a VFX designer. Be ware of style over substance.

In substance all I read is:
a guy lives
its a sad life
he wants to die

yawn..



Dont get me wrong, its a great visual entry point into a story, but its just not a story yet! If your banking on this visual as giving emotional impact, it will just fall flat..

now, if this visual is a metaphor for many things in the mans life, or perhaps the gun it self is some how very significant...
something more is needed..

Perhaps we have an "ah HA!" moment with some new understanding that totally changes what we THOUGHT we saw in that visual entry of the gun in the mouth. Maybe hes there because hes possessed by an alien intelligence and cant fight it.. or some bad guy is holding a little kid just out of frame and will kill the kid if the guy doesn't kill him self..

get my meaning?

 

[TI Irwin]

I say change it up a little. Have your character kills himself for a reason other than "life sucks".
Maybe he needs to donate his heart to his son because they can't find another donor... oh wait... that was John Q. But you get the point.

 

[TI Irwin]

now, if this visual is a metaphor for many things in the mans life, or perhaps the gun it self is some how very significant...
something more is needed..

Perhaps we have an "ah HA!" moment with some new understanding that totally changes what we THOUGHT we saw in that visual entry of the gun in the mouth. Maybe hes there because hes possessed by an alien intelligence and cant fight it.. or some bad guy is holding a little kid just out of frame and will kill the kid if the guy doesn't kill him self..

get my meaning?

Wow... I totally should have read that BEFORE I posted. Wheat beat me to it. lol

 

[MGrinstead]

Thanks Wheatgrinder! I'm never that good at writing good stories from scratch, but once someone gives me an idea it all starts flowing out.

 

[Capra]

Since you start with him commiting suicide and then show things that lead up to it maybe have a twist. Like at the end when the audience thinks its the start and he is killing himself he wakes up from a dream. Kinda like a second chance

 

[Blanc/Noir]

Since you start with him commiting suicide and then show things that lead up to it maybe have a twist. Like at the end when the audience thinks its the start and he is killing himself he wakes up from a dream. Kinda like a second chance

I feel like that is a bit too cliche, someone would see that coming in my opinion. I agree with Wheat with it's not quite the sort of suicide motive you were expecting.

I think another cool idea could be he has problems with the mob or something. And he is killing myself because maybe the mob is coming to kill him and he doesn't want to try to defend himself.

 

[bilinguru]

Fight Club:

It starts with a guy with a gun in his mouth and goes back to all that led to that point.

 

[wheatgrinder]

Thanks Wheatgrinder! I'm never that good at writing good stories from scratch, but once someone gives me an idea it all starts flowing out.

I know what you mean, my best ideas have been in responses to somebody elses' promptings like yours..

Now if i could just apply this to my OWN stories.. Id get some where..

 

[eraserhead_in_time]

Cool idea but I'd say that you work on the story more. to the point that even without the visual style ur going for..ie.going inside barrel effect.. the story should work...