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The Islander

C

Ccolebrook

I've been toying with an idea for my 6th feature length screenplay and I was looking to put the logline and synopsis out there for you guys to rip apart. Here goes.

The Islander: Sci-fi/mystery
A barbarian man is sent through a portal to uncover the secrets of a mysterious civilization long ago sealed off from civilized life.


The selling points of the idea come in on some of the details I've created, such as:

1. The barbarian, Maruke, wears a technologically advanced suit with powers he cannot comprehend, and automated functions that are a constant surprise/help to him when navigating this dangerous land. Think a tense chase scene leading to the edge of a chasm, where Maruke takes a leap of faith in the magic suit, and it deploys a flying device to save him.

2. His task is to set down portals for an expedition team to enter, which he successfully does mid-way through the first act. The expedition team, civilized, educated, arrive to find that the sand literally sinks from below their feet. Somehow their intelligence is destroying this place simply by being present.

3. Maruke's second task is to create a return portal back to earth (His suit leads him to the locations suitable for such portals), however, on his journey he discovers remnants of the abandoned civilization that had sealed this place away. He finds out through their history that the world will begin to dissolve at the arrival of civilization. And worse, the destruction would follow Maruke back to Earth if he opened a return portal home--or if the expedition opens a portal home.

4. So the 3rd act of the movie is Maruke chasing down the surviving members of the expedition through a dissolving landscape in an attempt to stop them (and ultimately eliminate them) from opening a portal home to Earth, meanwhile, the expedition, chock full of badly needed information and data about this new world, is trying to make it home before they are swallowed up, leaving Earth with no idea of what happened on the other side.

Naturally there's a 3 part mystery regarding the civilization and its relation to the humans on Earth, and why there's a portal linking the worlds, but I haven't fleshed all of that out yet.
I know parts of this share a resemblance to Stargate, but that doesn't really bother me.

If you've read this much, thanks. I'll happily read a screenplay of yours and give feedback if you'd like to send me a PDF. Ccolebrooked@gmail.com

Connor
 
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I like it, and from what I have seen I think it's the best, most all around rounded out concept of yours yet.

The mystery aspect is a little unclear to me, as is the Barbarian (Like Ernest is asking about), but I like the idea of type of film with a single character for a while (Castaway, Some classic Sci Fi where a guy is stranded on a planet, Some pioneer type crosses the Rockies etc) where there is little dialogue needed, just character vs environment and situation. I like that kind of isolation set-up where danger or wonders can be around every corner, and then kind of an intrusion or hope of fellow man. I also like the notion of the civilized becoming uncivilized to save civilization (Back home). I'm not a big fan of the dissolving nature of where they are. I understand it acts as a race against time device, but personally I would rather feel they are stuck there, and have to keep at bay or possibly kill new comers or members of their own expedition in order to not destroy home.

-Thanks-
 
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Ernest Worthing said:
Just one question:

Why would someone send a barbarian on such an important mission?
Click to expand...

I don't know if we have any philosophy majors out there, but I'm pretty sure this is a petitio pricipii

argument or more familiar,"begging the question". Why is a barbarian sent cause only a barbarian would

allow the movie to be made.
 
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Murdock said:
I don't know if we have any philosophy majors out there, but I'm pretty sure this is a petitio pricipii

argument or more familiar,"begging the question". Why is a barbarian sent cause only a barbarian would

allow the movie to be made.
Click to expand...

If he has something like that in his mind, fine.

But in case it was something he did not think about, its good to raise such questions on this board.
 
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So, I wrote a long comment, only to have it wiped out by an errant finger-stab at the wrong key. *sigh*

I'll try to recreate the gist:

LOVED the magic suit.

Agree with others that there are some glaring plot holes that need to be addressed.

My worry is that it's too complex: trying to stuff it all into a two-hour-movie container means you will spend lots of time setting everything up and/or explaining as you go, imo. Which means you'll have less time for character development. Beware of falling between the cracks of a concept-driven story and a character-driven story.

Here's the inevitable "if it were mine" caveat: I'd concentrate on the suit as high-concept. Why does Maruke get to wear it? Where did it come from? Who gave it to him and why (to what purpose)? How does the suit change him as a person? How does it change those around him as well as the two worlds? What secrets does it hold? Is it a symbol for some higher cause/being/spiritual awakening? Can it teach Maruke (and us) a lesson about the potential for technology as well as the need to beware of it at times? Might it represent the link between the two worlds somehow, both literally and metaphorically? I'd let this great concept drive the plot and the characters, in other words.

I'm looking forward to where you take this, Ccolebrook!

best,

-Charles
 
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The Barbarian:
They send Maruke because he's an animal man. The smartest animal on Earth that can still enter.

It's explained during the first 10 pages when we're hearing voices and seeing scientists through Maruke's eyes that simple robots and monkeys(in magic suits) have been sent through before, but the portal back home has never been created, so they've been assumed a failure. (They send a monkey through right in front of Maruke as a test as well.)
As Maruke falls through the portal, he tumbles down a pile of rusting robots and other such devices. The portal is set up over a massive tar pit. However, the crap is stacked to the beaches and he rolls to safety. Throughout Maruke's journey, he finds simple robots stuck on things, or broken down, or eaten by the native animals partway to the same goal he is being prodded toward, and eventually has a vested interest in stopping.
The monkey that flew through right before him serves as a kind of jester/herald that hangs out on his shoulder and occasionally might make us laugh, or cry (if the monkey gets hurt).

The suit and Maruke:
They develop a relationship early on in the first 5 pages. Maruke is on his island, pre-capture, diving for mussels when the suit, rolled up into a beach-ball sized sphere, startles him at the sea-bed.
It rolls after him up on land and seems to follow him everywhere like a magnet. Eventually he chills out and while looking at the stars, tries to feed it some coconut he's been eating, when on its side, the little holes (he thought a mouth) begin to glow. They're lights, and they form a picture of Maruke himself hoisting the sphere over his head toward the stars. When Maruke does so, the sphere rolls down his arms in a burst of little servos and covers his body. Lifts him into the air on rotors, and takes him to the edge of civilization(rolling lights, gleaming structures as far as the eye can see), and eventually the lab.
Also, when the sphere has him scared up a tree, he pisses on it. Later on when he's flying through the air in the suit he attempts to piss again, only to find a camelback spout at his throat gushing purified water.

I didn't think it was too much for a 2 hour movie. In its current form, Maruke's through the portal around page 10, and sets up the portal for the expedition around page 15.
A lot of expedition team character development hasn't been added yet but i haven't spent too much time on it. I wasn't sure if I should continue writing it.

The mystery is undeveloped, but is as follows.
1. Where does this portal lead and why can't the civilized enter it? What made it?
2. Oh it leads HERE. Well what happened to this civilization? Why did they create such a portal to Earth?
3. Oh that's why, and that's what happened to them, and that's how it relates to Earth and human civilization. Maruke, stop them before they destroy everything both worlds have worked for!

I have some preliminary ideas on #3, but they're mediocre in my opinion so I don't wanna share them yet.

Edit: Thank you guys, by the way. I forgot how responsive and caring and badass this forum is.
 
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