Hey guys, just thought I'd finally share with you some of the writing I've been working on. I've just been practicing form by writing sketches so far and this is my first attempt at something more 'narrative.' I could really use some help and/or ideas from your brilliant minds 
My main problem is that I need a story. See, this whole thing is one of those 'based on an idea' things. It's actually a mockumentary of the making of a film. The idea was first for the film itself, and then it seemed like the idea couldn't translate easily (or cheaply) into a feature so we(credit where credit due, Sean came up with the idea and we both have been writing it, mostly together) decided to do a short-form mockumentary of the making of the film, seemed much more plausible. Then if the sets were bad, it could be because the film was a low-budget and I think it would make it funnier, too.
But back to the problem, no story. How to I move the audience from A to B to C, any story ideas for a mockumentary making of film? I have about 10 pages written and just let me know if you want to read it, I will PM you the link, I trust all the members on here not to steal ideas, but I don't trust the lurkers.
WARNING: blasphemy is rampant in this script, no offense intended , it's just comedy
(oh and bear in mind that this is a first draft and that I go by the philosophy of write everything down, it can always be thrown out later if it doesn't work, right?
...
Right now it just feels like a collection of scenes, which it is. What should happen to these people? I'm leaning towards a comedy of errors (I don't care if it's been done, I would do it my way). But it could also go the way of the film being made and be a hit? But where would the twist be in that. That the people become jerks?
If we go in the 'comedy of errors' direction, does anyone have any stories of things going wrong on set or any outrageous interactions that they would allow me to possibly use in exchange for some form of appropriate credit?
One problem I think I'm running into is that the humor of some of my characters comes largely from their personalities, which makes it hard to come off the page when someone is just reading it.
I feel like it would be bad form to simply say, 'GIRL, a dry hipster' in the action lines. For one character, to try and get around this I described his looks (e.g. MAN (30's). He wears sunglasses, has a shaggy beard, his face is red from the sun. He smokes a cigarette as he speaks.) instead of just saying he's a hippy (inspired by Jeff Bridges). But I feel like that's bad form, too. I think subtext is the answer but I'm drawing a blank on what to do, if I'm showing it through subtext, how do I do it fast without having a whole boring scene at the beginning?...
On another technical note, do you think it's ok that I'm just calling the characters by their character names within the movie within the mocu? Rather than giving them all a 'real' name? Which way would be less confusing?
Thanks for taking the time to read my super long post! Muah!
My main problem is that I need a story. See, this whole thing is one of those 'based on an idea' things. It's actually a mockumentary of the making of a film. The idea was first for the film itself, and then it seemed like the idea couldn't translate easily (or cheaply) into a feature so we(credit where credit due, Sean came up with the idea and we both have been writing it, mostly together) decided to do a short-form mockumentary of the making of the film, seemed much more plausible. Then if the sets were bad, it could be because the film was a low-budget and I think it would make it funnier, too.
But back to the problem, no story. How to I move the audience from A to B to C, any story ideas for a mockumentary making of film? I have about 10 pages written and just let me know if you want to read it, I will PM you the link, I trust all the members on here not to steal ideas, but I don't trust the lurkers.
WARNING: blasphemy is rampant in this script, no offense intended , it's just comedy
(oh and bear in mind that this is a first draft and that I go by the philosophy of write everything down, it can always be thrown out later if it doesn't work, right?
...
Right now it just feels like a collection of scenes, which it is. What should happen to these people? I'm leaning towards a comedy of errors (I don't care if it's been done, I would do it my way). But it could also go the way of the film being made and be a hit? But where would the twist be in that. That the people become jerks?
If we go in the 'comedy of errors' direction, does anyone have any stories of things going wrong on set or any outrageous interactions that they would allow me to possibly use in exchange for some form of appropriate credit?
One problem I think I'm running into is that the humor of some of my characters comes largely from their personalities, which makes it hard to come off the page when someone is just reading it.
I feel like it would be bad form to simply say, 'GIRL, a dry hipster' in the action lines. For one character, to try and get around this I described his looks (e.g. MAN (30's). He wears sunglasses, has a shaggy beard, his face is red from the sun. He smokes a cigarette as he speaks.) instead of just saying he's a hippy (inspired by Jeff Bridges). But I feel like that's bad form, too. I think subtext is the answer but I'm drawing a blank on what to do, if I'm showing it through subtext, how do I do it fast without having a whole boring scene at the beginning?...
On another technical note, do you think it's ok that I'm just calling the characters by their character names within the movie within the mocu? Rather than giving them all a 'real' name? Which way would be less confusing?
Thanks for taking the time to read my super long post! Muah!
