Ehhhh...
-Your film was aggrevating to watch - plain and simple. I'm not going to cut it down as far as camera movements, angles, editing, ect; that's not where the problem is. The only troubling issue with your filming technique is, in fact, the bland and obvious way in which you've filmed everything (aside, of course, from the intermittent and useless gittery zoom). The real problem here is what you've dropped, plot wise, into about four minutes of film: Not only is your story...well, cheesy, and I'm going to assume concieved in all of six seconds, but you deliver what should only suffice as a set up to an actual story as the entire thing. It's unsatisfying, downright boring infact, as the story is so simple that anyone with an ounce of wit to them could figure the whole of your picture not long after you'd just set the movie up. Your lead character, the hit man (A hit man, really? In those carpenter shorts? And, no personal offence to him on the hair, but I could see that kid coming from Magic Kingdom) didn't seem like one so much as the guy who'd play hackie-sack in your dorm hall. The plastic knife didn't help much either(Yes, yes, I know, MGM, no weapons - get the shot of your sweet carpenters outside the park).
- But who is this hit man...really...as a human being...emotionally? Not that anyone would really care much - it's an indi - but all we know is that he digs hanging out at light poles and forcing his face into ridiculous contortions(Although I didn't get what it meant to the movie, it sure made me laugh). And then, welp, time to kill a girl...for no given reason...cause it's, what, more poetic that way?...Easier to write, anyway. Guys,...you lost me at girl gives hippy a poloroid; it doesn't stick, doesn't do a damn thing. That's a big setback if you're working with a story that makes the last episode of Dora The Explorer sound challenging. We don't know what made that hippy a hitman, we don't know why he would want to kill instead of picking up the adorable target, you're making the biggest mistake young filmakers can make - you're showing us your peers on film; not characters.
- Here's another pointer - if you're making a film where character's don't speak, but emote, and the tone is set by music, aside from color, contrast, ect, Don't use one song for the entire picture. If you've got flaccid on top of flaccid, at least break it up somewhere. Soft spot...possibly the most fitting title imaginable. Anyway, I guess I should be honest - I wasn't much for your movie. I know, I know, not the end of the world. I'm not cinematically genius, no, but I'm smart enough to know a seriously pointless picture when I see it. I'm just trying to help you out. Well, half trying to help you out, the other half is just for my nerves sake. But, hell, what do I know? You guys go to NYFA!!! You write screenplays in your sleep and crap celluloid! Tell Scorsesse I said HI when you run into him round campus aye?