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watch Remembering

It wasn't entirely clear that he was looking at a flashback, even with the colour change. Though, that may be a problem I'm having because I'm colorblind, but the difference in coloured shots and black and white shots isn't really clear enough to warrant the viewer knowing immediately that it's a flashback.

Also, 7 minutes seems a bit much. It could have been cut down considerably, which would have also fit nicely with the rushed nature of the main character as he tries to find the keys. In fact, that could be something to help differentiate the scenes - perhaps making the pace a lot slower during the flashbacks (which, actually, looking back is what you've actually done, but again it's not clear enough - changing the background music between the types of scenes, or even just getting rid of it completely, would help a lot with that).

The acting wasn't too bad, but after the guy returned with the car the editing became a lot choppier, starting with the obvious cut during the conversation and the sound of the car revving between shots.

The sound quality was also something that got in the way of enjoyment during the outside scenes (driving and talking to the boss). The shot of that guy repeating what he said was unneeded too.

tl;dr: the types of shots being seen need to be more clearly seperated, as well as the pacing (it shouldn't stay at the same pace throughout the entire film, it just seems off)

Overall though, it was enjoyable. It just needed to be cut down a bit and given some polish at certain points.
 
Pretty long way to get to a visual gag. :lol:

Here's what I thought was happening, especially with the changes between b/w & colour: Two instances of the same person in parallel dimensions are having their actions (and consequences) carry over into the other's. Expecting that, I was not expecting that particular ending at all. Hell of a shaggy dog, I guess. :)

I think, overall & looking back at the intended story, I found the editing choices to be confusing.

Congrats on finishing your film, though! Looks like you've been working on it for quite a while, and I bet you learned a lot through the process. :cool:

What's next?
 
Thanks for the replies!!

Yea, I definitely see where some trimming could be done on it. Other things that would probably help if I tweaked, also.



As far as what's next, I am, at the present, planning on making a few music videos with friends (mostly for fun). I do have a few more short film ideas, and at the same time I've written two feature film scripts. Last summer I attempted to try and shoot it, but the people weren't that committed to that amount of time.
During this past school year I wrote another, and I' m trying again, but it seems to be up in the air if this would work out, also. If not I'll probably write a few more scripts (no one can ever write enough) and maybe see in the future. A few more short film would probably help beforehand, anyway.

Although I'm going into my senior year of HS, so I guess I've got a fair amount of time.

Indeed, I learn a s%$# ton from everything, also!!!
 
Just a note about the scripts. You could carry on writing more and more scripts, but what I think you'll find is the moment you go back to old ones you'll think they're written terribly.

Personally, I write a script, wait a week or so, and then read through it and think it over again. I'll often find that writing just out of "inspiration" at a given moment can lead to bad choices in the plot or way that it's written. On the script I'm working on now, I basically scrapped the entire introduction scene, made the comedy more subtle, and wrote much, much less dialogue so that humour and the like could be gotten to the viewer at the same time as expressing the character's traits through the cinematography and acting. Looking back, the original script was trash, and the current one is much better. I'm still undecided on certain sections, but these things take time to perfect (and I'm pretty sure it'll still have a lot of flaws at the end of the project too).

Instead of spending time writing those entire script ideas and the like out, people tend to just make notes on ideas in a notepad or the like. I know I have a documents folder filled with about 25 different ideas for stories. Looking at them now, I only really like the idea of shooting around 3 of them, and I'm only working on 1 right now.

Just something to consider.
 
Zensteve said:
Pretty long way to get to a visual gag. :lol:

Here's what I thought was happening, especially with the changes between b/w & colour: Two instances of the same person in parallel dimensions are having their actions (and consequences) carry over into the other's. Expecting that, I was not expecting that particular ending at all. Hell of a shaggy dog, I guess. :)

I think, overall & looking back at the intended story, I found the editing choices to be confusing.

Congrats on finishing your film, though! Looks like you've been working on it for quite a while, and I bet you learned a lot through the process. :cool:

What's next?
Click to expand...

Agreed :)
 
The acting was believable, but I believe a lot could have been chopped out (and still can be) to improve the film. There were a couple of 180 rule violations that could have simply been cut out as well as a few shots that looked like jump shots even though you did move the camera. Further editing would fix these things easily. I also agree the color to BW doesn't quite work -- it short of looks like a compression/upload flaw . . . some other effect could have done the trick better for you. Good luck to you.
 
You have some continuity errors right at the beginning: the clock shows 7:59, then 7:58, it rings at 8:00, in the next frame it shows 8:01, then it jumps back to 8:00.
 
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