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When the vietnam veteran who saved his life is unjustly incarcerated for murder, a young man becomes a lawyer to fight for his freedom.

In 1970’s Chicago, a troubled young man struggles through law school and fights to free the unjustly incarcerated Vietnam veteran who saved his life.

A white law-student and a black vietnam vet form a barrier-breaking friendship in 1970s’ America - until the vet is jailed for a murder he didn’t commit and his young buddy dedicates his life and career to proving his innocence.
 
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I think what is being asked is :

Why did these two men bond? What is/was the "One Thing" that brought these two men together? Why is the lawyer character willing to go all in for this one person?

Both of them having served together in Viet Nam neatly answers these questions. That's why all of us made the assumption. It's instant backstory, requiring only details.
I hear you. The reason I don't want them to both be vets is because I want them to have distinct paths/stories but bond due to the similar minds/ thoughts they have and their ages ofc, not due to an experience in the army etc.
 

indietalk

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I assumed they were war buddies which answers a lot. That bond is unbreakable.
I think what is being asked is :

Why did these two men bond? What is/was the "One Thing" that brought these two men together? Why is the lawyer character willing to go all in for this one person?

Both of them having served together in Viet Nam neatly answers these questions. That's why all of us made the assumption. It's instant backstory, requiring only details.
Season 4 Success GIF by The Office
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
Nope. Stick to your guns. We are all just outsiders trying to help. If you are passionate stick to your guns but try to take what you can from the suggestions if they work. Dismiss the others and do your thing!
 
We're not here to tell you to change anything. We're pointing out the confusions that others might also have. YOU already "know everything." Now the task is to communicate that with clarity. My take would be that the case somehow falls into the lawyers unsuspecting lap; the story is about them bonding during the pre-trial, etc.

But always remember:

Opinions are like a$$holes; everybody has one, and they all stink.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
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When a young Vietnam vet is unjustly sentenced to life in prison, the man whose life he saved becomes a lawyer to fight for his freedom.
See, so this sounds like war buddies. As in one saved the other's life in the war and now we are at the point where one is helping the other again. So, how did he save his life? I'm still confused.

This would make sense to me:

One saved the other's life in Vietnam. Now, back home, the other one is repaying the favor by saving his life (legally). But it seems, you are saying, the same person is "saving" again. So yeah, I'm confused.
 
They bond after the vet returns from vietnam because of their distinct yet similar experiences with society. The black man was wrongfully incarcerated (70s), that is why he is a vietnam vet (he was more likely to be put into the war)

(This is up closer to the top of the comment section.)
Not really sure I understand what you're saying here...

He is a Vietnam vet because he was wrongfully incarcerated?

That just doesn't make any sense to me. Are you saying he was of the era when they used to say, "Either go into the military or go to jail?" And if so... How is he incarcerated NOW? Maybe you could explain that dynamic a little more.

I get that the lawyer is NOT a Vietnam vet... How do these two meet? Is your Vietnam vet incarcerated AFTER these two become acquainted? Friends?

And again... IF SO? What are their SIMILAR circumstances with society?
 
See, so this sounds like war buddies. As in one saved the other's life in the war and now we are at the point where one is helping the other again. So, how did he save his life? I'm still confused.

This would make sense to me:

One saved the other's life in Vietnam. Now, back home, the other one is repaying the favor by saving his life (legally). But it seems, you are saying, the same person is "saving" again. So yeah, I'm confused.
True... My BRAIN automatically links these two characters with both being in the Vietnam war together.
 
I want them to have distinct paths/stories but bond due to the similar minds/ thoughts they have and their ages ofc, not due to an experience in the army etc.

There's an inherent contradiction in that statement: they can't have two distinct paths if the story is about them bonding in a way that is strong enough for it to become a long-term relationship. They might have started out in different places, but they've ended up on the same path.

And if that bond didn't come from sharing a war together, then that information about his past is irrelevant (for the purposes of the logline) - he could just as easily be a teacher, a mechanic, a transvestite ... In any case, if this bond is so strong that it sets up the rest of the narrative, then what this is is what we need to hear about.

There's also an illogical jump in the sentence: the first guy is an alleged murderer (OK, fair enough) ... but he saved the life of the second guy (huh? when did that happen? who was murdered? are we talking about two different events, or a chain of related incidents?
 
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indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
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@AntonioHR what we are saying is, it is much easier to help you with a logline when we know the full story. Otherwise we are just tidying up a logline grammatically, but, we could be helping you construct a better one.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
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Decades can go by but not in the whole studying and then becoming a lawyer and it takes that long to be able to help. As @Unknown Screenwriter says, that waters it down big time.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
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Maybe he does this all later. That's why we need clarification. And why it would be good he already is a lawyer when he helps.
 
Stick with it. If you can't write a working log, how are you going to write a worthwhile synopsis muchless a script?
Before I'll read a script, I require a logline that tells me at least three of theses things: Who, What, Where, When, and How? Who and What must be included, but the more the better, UNLESS it's a High Concept pitch, e.g., Romeo and Juliet - Love of love is stronger than fear of death. Still, that might hook me, but you better have a lot of answers to the questions I'll have.
As a Writer, you need to sit down and start your story by answering all those five question. Don't write in stone, but have an answer that makes sense and you'll see the shape of a Character. And stories come from Characters, not places or events. When you know your Characters, you'll see his story.
 
There's an inherent contradiction in that statement: they can't have two distinct paths if the story is about them bonding in a way that is strong enough for it to become a long-term relationship. They might have started out in different places, but they've ended up on the same path.

And if that bond didn't come from sharing a war together, then that information about his past is irrelevant (for the purposes of the logline) - he could just as easily be a teacher, a mechanic, a transvestite ... In any case, if this bond is so strong that it sets up the rest of the narrative, then what this is is what we need to hear about.

There's also an illogical jump in the sentence: the first guy is an alleged murderer (OK, fair enough) ... but he saved the life of the second guy (huh? when did that happen? who was murdered? are we talking about two different events, or a chain of related incidents?
it is really not that hard to understand.
 
Not really sure I understand what you're saying here...

He is a Vietnam vet because he was wrongfully incarcerated?

That just doesn't make any sense to me. Are you saying he was of the era when they used to say, "Either go into the military or go to jail?" And if so... How is he incarcerated NOW? Maybe you could explain that dynamic a little more.

I get that the lawyer is NOT a Vietnam vet... How do these two meet? Is your Vietnam vet incarcerated AFTER these two become acquainted? Friends?

And again... IF SO? What are their SIMILAR circumstances with society?
THIS IS NOT A SYNOPSIS BRO
 
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