• Wondering which camera, gear, computer, or software to buy? Ask in our Gear Guide.

logline Newest loglines --

When the vietnam veteran who saved his life is unjustly incarcerated for murder, a young man becomes a lawyer to fight for his freedom.

In 1970’s Chicago, a troubled young man struggles through law school and fights to free the unjustly incarcerated Vietnam veteran who saved his life.

A white law-student and a black vietnam vet form a barrier-breaking friendship in 1970s’ America - until the vet is jailed for a murder he didn’t commit and his young buddy dedicates his life and career to proving his innocence.
 
Last edited:

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
What is this guy locked up for? Why did he get life? And this is in the US right?

I picture it like this. He is locked up in Vietnam! And not a POW. For a crime like possession of marijuana, which can carry a life sentence. So the two best friends were smoking a joint in a strip club or something. The one that got busted was holding the joint.

Now the other friend is back home. Perhaps he used his GI bill to go to law school, and to study ways to get him out. He doesn't even have to be a lawyer, as long as he has studied ways to help. Etc.

Anyway.
 
What is this guy locked up for? Why did he get life? And this is in the US right?

I picture it like this. He is locked up in Vietnam! And not a POW. For a crime like possession of marijuana, which can carry a life sentence. So the two best friends were smoking a joint in a strip club or something. The one that got busted was holding the joint.

Now the other friend is back home. Perhaps he used his GI bill to go to law school, and to study ways to get him out. He doesn't even have to be a lawyer, as long as he has studied ways to help. Etc.

Anyway.
Again, only one of them is a vet.
 
What is this guy locked up for? Why did he get life? And this is in the US right?

I picture it like this. He is locked up in Vietnam! And not a POW. For a crime like possession of marijuana, which can carry a life sentence. So the two best friends were smoking a joint in a strip club or something. The one that got busted was holding the joint.

Now the other friend is back home. Perhaps he used his GI bill to go to law school, and to study ways to get him out. He doesn't even have to be a lawyer, as long as he has studied ways to help. Etc.

Anyway.
Only ONE is a vet.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
I thought they served together. You wiped out your original post so we can not refer to it.

This makes less sense to me now what does being a Vietnam vet have to do with the story at all? I thought they were friends from the war and one wanted to "save" the other post-war.
 
I thought they served together. You wiped out your original post so we can not refer to it.

This makes less sense to me now what does being a Vietnam vet have to do with the story at all? I thought they were friends from the war and one wanted to "save" the other post-war.
They bond after the vet returns from vietnam because of their distinct yet similar experiences with society. The black man was wrongfully incarcerated (70s), that is why he is a vietnam vet (he was more likely to be put into the war)
 
Last edited:

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
A white law-student and a black vietnam vet form a barrier-breaking friendship in 1970s’ America - until the vet is jailed for a murder he didn’t commit and his young buddy dedicates his life and career to proving his innocence.
So being a Vietnam vet has nothing to do with this at all. Okay, that really changes things. I would not put it in the logline if this is all it is... backstory.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
No you didn't. You just said it has everything to do with it. What is everything? Explain how it impacts the plot and story.
 
No you didn't. You just said it has everything to do with it. What is everything? Explain how it impacts the plot and story.
They bond after the vet returns from vietnam because of their distinct yet similar experiences with society. The black man was wrongfully incarcerated (70s), that is why he is a vietnam vet (he was more likely to be put into the war)

(This is up closer to the top of the comment section.)
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
Then you need to drive home why they bonded. Civil rights, and feeling like an outcast returning from Vietnam. None of this comes across. This may be the heart of the story but is being treated as backstory.

I may be wrong but @mlesemann and @Unknown Screenwriter will correct me if so.
 
Then you need to drive home why they bonded. Civil rights, and feeling like an outcast returning from Vietnam. None of this comes across. This may be the heart of the story but is being treated as backstory.

I may be wrong but @mlesemann and @Unknown Screenwriter will correct me if so.
Ok cool, I'm just not sure how I'll do that atm. Maybe the fact that they both feel like outcasts. Also I was thinking that the white guy is actually mixed race like in the end or something its reveale.. just as i write that it seems wild. This idea just really has me in a twist.
 
Last edited:

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
No no no don't reveal him being mixed race in the end. What's the moral of that story? He helped because he was mixed and part his race? No. He helped because he is human. And related. That's the moral compass.

But it needs to be worked into the logline somehow. Some others will chime in and help. I'll think it over as well.
 
No no no don't reveal him being mixed race in the end. What's the moral of that story? He helped because he was mixed and part his race? No. He helped because he is human. And related. That's the moral compass.

But it needs to be worked into the logline somehow. Some others will chime in and help. I'll think it over as well.
nononno i didnt mean that thats WHY he helped but... whatever, i dont know where that came from. Thanks for the help though.
 
I think what is being asked is :

Why did these two men bond? What is/was the "One Thing" that brought these two men together? Why is the lawyer character willing to go all in for this one person?

Both of them having served together in Viet Nam neatly answers these questions. That's why all of us made the assumption. It's instant backstory, requiring only details.
 
Top