• READ BEFORE POSTING!
    • If posting a video, please choose here OR the Media section and not both.
    • If replying to threads please remember this is the Promotion area and the person posting may not be open to feedback.
  • Can you make a film in 21 days?
    Indie of the Month May

watch New sci-fi Short Film

I am tripping out because I am having to shorten my films to fit the attention spans of children, yet, here is a 2 minute film.

I like what you did with the visuals. The acting was good. The problem is that there is a disconnect. There is no way to really care about the character or the decision he is making because we do not truly know what is at stake.

Who was he talking to?
Why can't he travel back?
Why did he travel there anyway?
Why were they separated?
Why are the missiles being fired?
Why, Why, Why?
 
This needs more time in the editing room. Your cuts are choppy and you need narrations to help the viewers along.

Storyboarding and scripting out a story would help make a better film.

The problem with speed effects with 24 fps is slowing the effects.

Slow down your speed effects and add motion trails.

Is your character a super powered person in a Blakes' Seven universe or something?

Is that where "The Liberator" comes from?
 
I am tripping out because I am having to shorten my films to fit the attention spans of children, yet, here is a 2 minute film.

I like what you did with the visuals. The acting was good. The problem is that there is a disconnect. There is no way to really care about the character or the decision he is making because we do not truly know what is at stake.

Who was he talking to?
Why can't he travel back?
Why did he travel there anyway?
Why were they separated?
Why are the missiles being fired?
Why, Why, Why?
Thanks for the feedback, i appreciate it.

I Kind of disagree however.
i feel like some of the why's you are asking are unnecessary and others were explained visually:

Who was he calling - the close up of the phone says "Mum Mobile"
Why can't he travel back - i feel like it doesn't need to be explained other than it doesn't work after he uses it the first time. - for a film this short anyway haha.
Why did he travel there anyway - it was a flaw in his character, he was waiting for him mum to get there, but she wasn't coming so under the pressure of missiles he left.
Why were they separated - could be anything, doesn't add to the story i wanted to try.
Why are the missiles being fired - could be anything, doesn't add to the story i wanted to try.

so there are my reasons, anyway i really do appreciate your concerns!
Thanks
Edward
 
This needs more time in the editing room. Your cuts are choppy and you need narrations to help the viewers along.

Storyboarding and scripting out a story would help make a better film.

The problem with speed effects with 24 fps is slowing the effects.

Slow down your speed effects and add motion trails.

Is your character a super powered person in a Blakes' Seven universe or something?

Is that where "The Liberator" comes from?
Thanks for the feedback!

It was scripted and we had a shot list, not too much of a fan of story boarding, but i understand where you're coming from! the slightly jarring cuts were largely deliberate, there were some others that weren't but couldn't really be fixed unfortunately haha.

I'm definitely not one for doing narration, i like viewers to be able to figure out these things for themselves and think about them.

not too sure what you mean about the ending few paragraphs haha.

thanks
edward
 
Thanks for the feedback, i appreciate it.

I Kind of disagree however.
i feel like some of the why's you are asking are unnecessary and others were explained visually:

Who was he calling - the close up of the phone says "Mum Mobile"
Why can't he travel back - i feel like it doesn't need to be explained other than it doesn't work after he uses it the first time. - for a film this short anyway haha.
Why did he travel there anyway - it was a flaw in his character, he was waiting for him mum to get there, but she wasn't coming so under the pressure of missiles he left.
Why were they separated - could be anything, doesn't add to the story i wanted to try.
Why are the missiles being fired - could be anything, doesn't add to the story i wanted to try.

so there are my reasons, anyway i really do appreciate your concerns!
Thanks
Edward
Great for an audience of one! YOU!
 
Heh, just like Modern Myth, I saw the combo of "sci-fi short" and your username The Liberator and got all excited. A Blake's 7 sci-fi fan-film of that could be awesome. :cool:

Obviously your film was not about that, but still pretty cool regardless. With so little story there, I filled in much of it myself while watching. Bit of a letdown later, reading about the lack of meaning/purpose behind much of it. At least I got to generate a script idea out of it, like that. :lol:

Cool! So what's next?
 
Thanks!

I think i may be missing something with this Blake's 7 business Haha!
There may be a bit of a misunderstanding there.
When you say it was a letdown reading about a lack of purpose / meaning what do you mean?

If you're regarding me addressing the "Why's" in an earlier post, Then there's definitely a meaning and purpose behind everything, i know what's happening in my head and the actor knows as well, that way the story is added with subtext rather than a prominent part of the story, i just don't feel like it needs to be explained because i like people to make what they will out of my films, like how you filled in the blanks, the blanks are there, but they are shown subtly through acting and actions rather than via dialogue if that makes sense?

But like everything, not everyone will understand or like it which is fine, but either way if you get it or not, i think the film should speak for itself rather than me speaking for it.

Not sure what's next yet, but i cant wait for it haha, i'm sick of not making much :P

Thanks for the comment!
 
But like everything, not everyone will understand or like it which is fine, but either way if you get it or not, i think the film should speak for itself rather than me speaking for it.

Not sure what's next yet, but i cant wait for it haha, i'm sick of not making much :P

Thanks for the comment!
I am one of the ones who watched and didn't quite grasp the idea behind it, now the only problem I have with your above statement is that as the creator of the film, it s your duty to at least show some type of storyline don't you think?

I don't want to have to read your description of the movie in order to get it...
 
I am one of the ones who watched and didn't quite grasp the idea behind it, now the only problem I have with your above statement is that as the creator of the film, it s your duty to at least show some type of storyline don't you think?

I don't want to have to read your description of the movie in order to get it...
Yeah, exactly!

As i said, if you don't get it that's fine, it's seemingly a polarizing film, some people love the ambiguity of it, others don't. This film is full of experimentation on my part, it's like research for me, as what works and what doesn't, and i don't want my intentions to influence opinions, because ultimately , if it's not picked up on in the film, then i don't think it should be explained to make the viewer understand.

i want the film to speak for itself, if that means it doesn't work, then so be it!

does that make sense?

What is it that didn't work for you if you don't mind?
 
One thing I didn't get was that the first half of the film looked really average but the second half was nicely color corrected and had good focus compared to the first half with no color correction and out of focus shots...
 
One thing I didn't get was that the first half of the film looked really average but the second half was nicely color corrected and had good focus compared to the first half with no color correction and out of focus shots...
There was colour correction on both halves, and very little was out of focus, it was a stylistic choice to use wide lenses so that everything was in focus , you seem to be the only one with this problem.

maybe you're just used to very shallow depth of field to make things look pretty... not what i was going for.
 
There was colour correction on both halves, and very little was out of focus, it was a stylistic choice to use wide lenses so that everything was in focus , you seem to be the only one with this problem.

maybe you're just used to very shallow depth of field to make things look pretty... not what i was going for.
Well there may have been CC, but the close ups at the start are certainly not focused on the man, he is slightly out of focus, I'm confident of that.

I just felt it odd that the second half looked good as opposed to the first half. Also it's the Internet, people have short attention spans and need something amazing in the first 15 seconds if they are to stay watching
 
Top