archived-videos New sci-fi Short Film

MileCreations said:
Well there may have been CC, but the close ups at the start are certainly not focused on the man, he is slightly out of focus, I'm confident of that.

I just felt it odd that the second half looked good as opposed to the first half. Also it's the Internet, people have short attention spans and need something amazing in the first 15 seconds if they are to stay watching
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hmmm the first close up may be a tiny bit soft, but on location with the sun on the tiny monitor it's very difficult to keep everything ultra crisp.

some of the biggest film in Hollywood have soft shots and honestly i don't think it matters that much, also the youtube compression doesn't help.

Again, i think the first half of the film looks good, it achieves what i set out for, a cold, sterile feel. yes the second half looks prettier, but in terms of how it was shot it was much the same, all compositions are reasonably nice.

i think the problem you're seeing is an unavoidable one for anyone without lights, which is we had to start shooting midday, when the sun was highest in the sky, with clouds that were constantly changing. Therefore the light direction and condition wasn't flattering, but it worked for the film, it fits with the emotion of that sequence.
 
The Liberator said:
i want the film to speak for itself, if that means it doesn't work, then so be it!
does that make sense?
What is it that didn't work for you if you don't mind?
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What didn't work was the storyline, or lack thereof, within the film.
After reading your description I can go back in my mind and put the movie together but while watching it, none of it came into place for me. So by me saying, "it didn't work", I meant the job of the movie to tell a story.

But as you mentioned, you are perfectly fine with some viewers not quite figuring out the film, so it seems like I'm one of them :)
 
joey1320 said:
What didn't work was the storyline, or lack thereof, within the film.
After reading your description I can go back in my mind and put the movie together but while watching it, none of it came into place for me. So by me saying, "it didn't work", I meant the job of the movie to tell a story.

But as you mentioned, you are perfectly fine with some viewers not quite figuring out the film, so it seems like I'm one of them :)
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There is a story line, and a classic 3 Act structure of equilibrium, disequilibrium and establishment of a new equilibrium.
it's just that the plot doesn't follow that and is open ended.

Honestly, i quite like that some people don't get it haha, on a few other forums i've posted it, the people who do get it, really get it, and love the ambiguity and piecing together of the clues that create the story; so it's that much more gratifying than if everyone only kind of got it on basic level.

It's certainly not the best thing i've ever created, but for a weekend project it's been an extremely interesting experience hearing all the reactions, and for an experiment it's been really successful!
 
The Liberator said:
There is a story line, and a classic 3 Act structure of equilibrium, disequilibrium and establishment of a new equilibrium.
it's just that the plot doesn't follow that and is open ended.

Honestly, i quite like that some people don't get it haha, on a few other forums i've posted it, the people who do get it, really get it, and love the ambiguity and piecing together of the clues that create the story; so it's that much more gratifying than if everyone only kind of got it on basic level.

It's certainly not the best thing i've ever created, but for a weekend project it's been an extremely interesting experience hearing all the reactions, and for an experiment it's been really successful!
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not to say that your film was bad or anything, but id say that if 90% of people didnt get what my film was about even after trying to figure it out then id say id have to re-think and re-shoot adding in scenes to make it click a bit more.

i appreciate your artistic view on this, however i would be in with the line of people that would say make it more clearer, because in my opinion there are two kinds of mind boggling films:

1. scenes/plots that are intelligently put together and displayed with such wit that are difficult to figure out, that leave me wanting to really figure out what happened.
*this would to me be called a success*

2. scenes/plots that are just pieced together with no real emotional story or good build up, leaving the viewer who 90% of people would say "didnt get it, cant be bothered to figure it out as it wasnt that interesting anyway"
*this would to me fit the description of your film*

now i like the way it was shot, i like the colours and everything just for me the story sucked big time, I watch lots of anime so mind boggling stuff where we are left to figure it out always comes into play, yours didnt come across to me that way, it felt like it was missing a lot, but with those scenes put in to make it a bit better to watch then i could easily have a reversed opinion.

yours truly

btw the fact your getting people talking about it is probably a good thing as your creating a bit of buzz so well done there
 
It was pretty difficult for me to watch. I didn't really get it the first time, so I had to rewatch it again.
The story didn't work for me, because I had no idea what the clicking thingy was and what was he freaking out about. You need some sort of explanation of whats going on.
I saw the smoke trails from rockets and thought they were spaceships as people "evacuating earth" and though "Ok, he must be missing his spaceship or something?". Then I read it was rockets.
It would have been nice if you showed some explosions going off somewhere and how they get in closer and closer to a guy, then we would know that he is in danger. As of now, we have a guy freaking out because he can't get a hold of his mom..

The "transport" thingy didn't work, because I had no idea what was that. It looked very low tech and without explanation i thought it was some sort of a remote control. If he could say into his phone something like "Mom, where are you? I'm about to transport" or have SOME sort of foreshadowing - then this low-tech device could work. But since we don't know what it is - it doesn't look right.

Also, just a phone with a missed call doesn't work. Its too distant. What if your main character transported, sees a missed call and also notices an abandoned car. He walks up to it and we see his reaction of him seeing his dead mother. Thats much more personal and upclose punch that "Missed call: Mum".

Anyways, great attempt though! Looking forward to see more of your projects
 
Here's what I understood after watching your short.

Plot - The guy was in a harbour and calling his mom, wanting her to arrive on time. He was anxious of the surrounding, prolly an ongoing tension (an inevitable war?). He was holding in his hand what appears to be a switch of a time machine (but i think it's more of another-dimension-machine?). He became more and more anxious as his mom was nowhere near the meeting place. He looked and missiles were fired off. He was left to no choice but to push the switch to make him disappear to another dimension leaving her mom behind. Fastforward and he was back on the same spot. (How long did it take him to be in another dimension? Dunno) The place was all ruined. Tall buildings were shattered suggesting a large scale war. The first thing he did was to contact his mom but clearly his mom was gone. the scene ended showing the devastated and melancholic look of the protagonist due to the loss of his mom.

Analysis: I'm not really an analyst but here's my 2-cent worht.

First I would say, it's a good concept. Kudos to that. Your color grading is good too and I like some of your close up shots. The actor is very good, i can see the emotions in him specially in his eyes.

But i think the shots didn't explain well what was really going on. Like there were missiles fired but prior to that the surrounding was all calm. I was thinking were those missiles suddenly fired without warning? how did he know then? or did he fire the missil ehimself? since he hit a button prior to the missiles being fired. It may have been better if you shoot some commotion or chaos among the people? (im not sure, just my idea) and that adds more drama and tension to the film and a clear understanding on the viewers.

:D I don't know if I get it right. Or did i completely misunderstood the plot?

Cheers mate.
 
8salacious9 said:
not to say that your film was bad or anything, but id say that if 90% of people didnt get what my film was about even after trying to figure it out then id say id have to re-think and re-shoot adding in scenes to make it click a bit more.

i appreciate your artistic view on this, however i would be in with the line of people that would say make it more clearer, because in my opinion there are two kinds of mind boggling films:

1. scenes/plots that are intelligently put together and displayed with such wit that are difficult to figure out, that leave me wanting to really figure out what happened.
*this would to me be called a success*

2. scenes/plots that are just pieced together with no real emotional story or good build up, leaving the viewer who 90% of people would say "didnt get it, cant be bothered to figure it out as it wasnt that interesting anyway"
*this would to me fit the description of your film*

now i like the way it was shot, i like the colours and everything just for me the story sucked big time, I watch lots of anime so mind boggling stuff where we are left to figure it out always comes into play, yours didnt come across to me that way, it felt like it was missing a lot, but with those scenes put in to make it a bit better to watch then i could easily have a reversed opinion.

yours truly

btw the fact your getting people talking about it is probably a good thing as your creating a bit of buzz so well done there
Click to expand...

I know that in the next film, things need changing to clear up some stuff, that's why i posted it here and have been listening and trying to justify my meanings behind a lot of things, as i said it was a successful experiment where i tried things that i've never tried before, and if you never go way out of your comfort zone you'll basically suck forever haha.

when i say im happy that it's mixed, i was more saying at least SOME people get it, it's defiantely more than 10% who get it aswell hahha maybe not 50/50 but that doesnt matter to me.

I value what you're saying, but i think you could ease down a bit on how you phrase some of your criticism
 
shuttered said:
Here's what I understood after watching your short.

Plot - The guy was in a harbour and calling his mom, wanting her to arrive on time. He was anxious of the surrounding, prolly an ongoing tension (an inevitable war?). He was holding in his hand what appears to be a switch of a time machine (but i think it's more of another-dimension-machine?). He became more and more anxious as his mom was nowhere near the meeting place. He looked and missiles were fired off. He was left to no choice but to push the switch to make him disappear to another dimension leaving her mom behind. Fastforward and he was back on the same spot. (How long did it take him to be in another dimension? Dunno) The place was all ruined. Tall buildings were shattered suggesting a large scale war. The first thing he did was to contact his mom but clearly his mom was gone. the scene ended showing the devastated and melancholic look of the protagonist due to the loss of his mom.

Analysis: I'm not really an analyst but here's my 2-cent worht.

First I would say, it's a good concept. Kudos to that. Your color grading is good too and I like some of your close up shots. The actor is very good, i can see the emotions in him specially in his eyes.

But i think the shots didn't explain well what was really going on. Like there were missiles fired but prior to that the surrounding was all calm. I was thinking were those missiles suddenly fired without warning? how did he know then? or did he fire the missil ehimself? since he hit a button prior to the missiles being fired. It may have been better if you shoot some commotion or chaos among the people? (im not sure, just my idea) and that adds more drama and tension to the film and a clear understanding on the viewers.

:D I don't know if I get it right. Or did i completely misunderstood the plot?

Cheers mate.
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Thanks!

Yeah you got the plot correct, i'm still a bit unsure what's making people so confused?

Does the threat not feel real enough?

i didnt want to explain what was happening in terms of "where did the missiles come freom, where is his mother" etc.

IF i said this was a teaser rather than a film, would the reaction be different i wonder?
 
Ok, cool. I only watched your film once and I got the story.


Does the threat not feel real enough?
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No. I didn't FEEL the threat. Film making is not only showing but make your audience FEEL it. For the benefit of the viewers, you should have taken some shots really about the ongoing commotion like people running and screaming until you really have no choice but to push the button. I saw no threat, no commotion, no chaos, no drama, no conflict.

That's my only concern, the visual establishment of conflict that led him to having no choice but to leave his mom. This development is very important because it will justify his coice in the end.

But don't get me wrong i like your film (that's why i got the plot right :D) im just throwing you a bone that could be of any help.

from PERTH btw!
 
shuttered said:
Ok, cool. I only watched your film once and I got the story.




No. I didn't FEEL the threat. Film making is not only showing but make your audience FEEL it. For the benefit of the viewers, you should have taken some shots really about the ongoing commotion like people running and screaming until you really have no choice but to push the button. I saw no threat, no commotion, no chaos, no drama, no conflict.

That's my only concern, the visual establishment of conflict that led him to having no choice but to leave his mom. This development is very important because it will justify his coice in the end.

But don't get me wrong i like your film (that's why i got the plot right :D) im just throwing you a bone that could be of any help.

from PERTH btw!
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Great, thanks!

yeah, we only had half a day to shoot, and i didn't want to take that backpack into a populated area in fear of people mistaking it for a bomb haha (it had all sorts of wires coming out of it).

so i tried to add the threat, more so as something in his mind, psychologically, but you're right there would have been stronger ways to portray that.
 
The Liberator said:
I know that in the next film, things need changing to clear up some stuff, that's why i posted it here and have been listening and trying to justify my meanings behind a lot of things, as i said it was a successful experiment where i tried things that i've never tried before, and if you never go way out of your comfort zone you'll basically suck forever haha.

when i say im happy that it's mixed, i was more saying at least SOME people get it, it's defiantely more than 10% who get it aswell hahha maybe not 50/50 but that doesnt matter to me.

I value what you're saying, but i think you could ease down a bit on how you phrase some of your criticism
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il admit im a harsh critic, so i wont apologise for how i say things, however i will say dont take it as an attack im just a brute with words and say things as they are and i dont pussyfoot around, everyone has views some really good, some really bad, im very opinionated and thats my character.

but anyways its your film, i gave my opinion, take from it what you will.

good luck with future films im sure youl do well
 
8salacious9 said:
il admit im a harsh critic, so i wont apologise for how i say things, however i will say dont take it as an attack im just a brute with words and say things as they are and i dont pussyfoot around, everyone has views some really good, some really bad, im very opinionated and thats my character.

but anyways its your film, i gave my opinion, take from it what you will.

good luck with future films im sure youl do well
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No man, i get it haha, i've had harsh criticism from a lot of people before, so i'm used to it. i just think you should be careful with who you say it to, you may hurt some of the new, inexperienced kids looking for criticism on their films or whatever.

you gave some very valid points, some of which i agree with, others i don't.

I wouldn't have posted the film had i not wanted opinions haha.

Thanks
 
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