• Popcorn Points determine how popular a video is. You can click the popcorn bucket or simply react (Like, Love, etc.) and it will register a vote.

Into the Beige


Tagline: A man sees an image online that drives him sane, resulting in every part of his life going well, except one.

To Sean, those 3 musketeers posters are not a shot at you, I know you like the book, I just went looking for movies with the most posters and it was kind of a big one.

This was a 1 day film. It's about the color beige, and why creatives and executives can't be each other.

I would have made one about Dean's story, which would have been way better, but that would have cost me a week, apologies.
 
Upvote 3
Yeah I've been enjoying the book, I'm about 45% of the way through.
beige Film got a couple laughs out of me.
It's interesting, when I was gathering up movie covers for that insert where it shows like 50 movie covers 1 frame each, One of the movies that had the most versions was Pinocchio. That's not the interesting part. You see, there were like 90 different versions of Pinocchio that have been made, and of course I was curious enough to work my way down the list and try to find the worst one ever.

So there is a version of Pinocchio by a 55 year old writer director with a giant bald spot, and he plays Pinocchio in the movie. Not a voiceover, but live action. It has a 0 on rotten tomatoes according to the article. Shocking.

1686598963219.png
 
It's prolly cause they are public domain works
Yeah, I specifically looked for PD stuff because people had rehashed them like 1000 times each. But hey, we're actually just getting into a period where copyrights are starting to expire on more relevant stuff, and obviously that's going to produce a lot of timeless classics. I mean that Winnie the Pooh horror movie is 100% going to stand the test of time, lol.
 
As humor this didn't quite land for me; I think I feel on the outside of this inside joke. And I got a little lost, untangling who the joke was on, who and what was being satirized. I get that it's media outlets that assume mundane aspects of celebrity lives are newsworthy, media consumers that think they are, metro-millennial (or something) self-satisfied conformists, and maybe self-satisfied independent filmmakers themselves. It all cascades and is, to me (and i emphasize to me) more interesting than amusing. And these targets are all, for me, innocuous; mostly harmless.

Maybe it's mostly an inside joke within a small group of friends. I fondly remember hanging out with my friends, mostly as kids, just trying to make each other laugh.

Anyway, one of the cool things about it is that it, a smooth six minute film, can be banged out in a day, without actors, a crew, sound people, best boys, etc. Is the narrator a robot? Has the technology improved to the point where I have to ask? If so, it is not true, yet, with actors, as Nate points out in Talking Robots.

Which, by the way, Nate, I like a lot more than you seem to. I thought it was really good; the writing was clear, logical, straightforward and interesting. It had, for me, a seemingly effortless confidence and clarity that comes from knowing what you are talking about, from sharing a transparent expertise.

In contrast, I've watched into the beige several times, and I find myself leaning toward ceasing to listen. Since this is a kind of layered parody, the "effort" will obviously be more noticeable. It's a high-wire act, and this one is, I think, successful. But maybe, if you were interested in seeing if it had any legs, another pass with the goal, simply, of making it shorter?

And, I also think it likely that, with a little more thought, attention, (and maybe interest) I would have a better appreciation. It could easily be that I am just too dense to "get it."
 
Last edited:
Thanks for the review. This is a weird piece, because it's a morph between two underlying themes that wouldn't normally be used together. It's a joke, at the expense of paint by numbers America, a bit of surrealist humor, and then it morphs into a parable about the advantages of selling out, and the impossibility of buying back in. A comedic look at an almost sinister paradox that affects the creative world. Creativity doesn't make money, but requires it to be refined into a product that is useful to people. Then THAT, creativity combined with money, can make money. Michelangelo can paint on sand all day long, and it's utterly worthless, He needs the Sistine chapel to be built, and the reputation to get him access to it's ceiling, before he can create a work of art that has real value to the world. The paint, the training, the vision, may have only cost 200 bucks (historic equivalent guess) but the canvas that was an integral part of the work's fame cost millions.

This is how movies are. The paradox is this. Money on the scale necessary to create a viable work of art in this format is only available to people who focus on business, politics (not national politics, but interpersonal, like an HR person's view of the world sees everyone getting along as the number one priority) or who have lucked into wealth. Honestly, the latter group is responsible for most of the best art, for reasons related to the premise here.

People like normal, that's who makes money. Because business is about stability, it's about finding dopamine in mundane tasks by proxying those tasks to be a representation of positive maturity. Doing what needs to be done, limiting risk, insuring a frictionless work environment, and all these practical, positive, normal things that make a business functional on a day to day basis. I'm not as down on it as it probably seems from this humor video. Most things are good and evil simultaneously, depending on your perspective and how they affect us. You look at a crowd of starving people, and then someone kills a bunch of animals. That's a really good thing, all these hungry children can now eat. This slaying of the many animals is an act that helped everybody! If your goals and needs in life differed, you might see the same story very differently. Say you were a person who loved animals, and your main priority was keeping this particular group of animals alive. In this case, the exact same actions would seem evil and brutal, as you watched these monsters slash and maim this group the animal conservationist had grown to consider family.

So what is this act? Is it Evil or Good? I guess it depends on where you're standing. You're my hero, or you're my villain. Same action, different perspective. There was probably a way to feed the people, and let the family of animals live, but everyone is in a hurry, always, for all time. If you look back at humanity's track record, it's really hard to find a time when we actually had the patience to get anything right. Individuals did it, but societies did the quickest, easiest fix for right now, and then their lazy successors would canonize that decision, based on the perceptual bias that the longer ago something was written, the more "magical" it is. My view is that the constitution for example is not any more significant or insignificant dependent on whether it was written Thursday or a thousand years ago. It's value is in it's content. That content's quality is relative to it's functionality in the world, and since the world is always changing, the value of a fixed set of concepts is always changing. This is not a dialogue about the constitution or my opinions on it, it's just an example.

That was a huge digression, so sorry about that, I'm prone to them. Here's the paradox - only normal people are given the money to make large scale business decisions, because they are stable, because they focus on a set of criteria that's effective in sustaining the business, and it's people. Over time they become neuro programmed against imagination, because in their context, it's mostly analogous to risk, which is a known negative. So every decision about which creative projects are minted, MUST be made by someone who is natively adverse to creativity.

This didn't used to be as big of a problem, but in the words of philosopher Tommy Chong "You've changed man" 40 years ago maybe a few percent of Americans exhibited signs of Narcissism. Twenty years after social media went mainstream, that number is nearing 30%. Personal greed as can be measured on charts has increased on average by a factor of 200x. Combining these factors, you now have a situation where every extraordinarily bland bottom line analyst feels that they are likely much more creative than the "dumb artists" who don't realize that catering directly to the lowest common denominator is the way to go. Without the wit to comprehend that using brute force to win an argument simply proves that they didn't deserve to win, they now serially override their creative counterparts, stealing their agency, self respect, and future, and routing those benefits to anyone who thinks like they do.

That's why Fast and Furious 10, that's why spiderman 14, spiderman goes to Ecuador. That's why live action remake. That's why 60's comic book is the plot of 2024 film. Because they have serially disenfranchised creatives like those machines where you try to push the quarters off the ledge. So yeah, Into the Beige. It's more complex and dissonant than it appears on the surface. It's kind of a middle finger to the people who decimated my tribe to feed theirs. I figured people would just laugh at the jokes and forget about it, and I think for the most part I was exactly right.


1687883840290.png


1687883871207.png
 
Last edited:
Ah god, Nate. Please please please stop trying to make me think. Some mornings, like this one, it hurts; it takes more effort than it seems it's worth. So I now have several pages of incoherent notes on surrealism (from Becket to David Lynch to Green Acres), Jackson Pollock and abstract expressionism, un-musical music (Schoenberg, late Coltrane), Worhol and op art, Derrida and deconstruction, and etc. and etc. and etc. And if I want to try to make this discourse coherent, it will probable take several several-hour sessions, and to make it elegant, several more. And, eventually, I do have to get out of bed.
 
Last edited:
I'm going to be honest with you. This is not the first time I've gotten this response from my "thinking out loud". ROFL.

I'm just a very curious person who's mind never stops tracing and analyzing and contextualizing and analogizing every concept I encounter. You'd think it would drive you insane, but the only reason it bothers me is that there's not enough hours in the day to explore all the possibilities I'm interested in.

Anyway, you don't have to come up with a compelling answer to that whole rant, lol. Sorry for the headache, I've unfortunately given a lot of people a lot of headaches over the years, just.... being me. lol.

Also, I can't believe you would bracket Coltrain in with Schoenberg. Heresy!
 
Last edited:
This is the Coltrane I'm talking about (and the Coltrane of My Favorite Things absolutely kills me.)


Cornell West said, in a documentary on 'Trane, that he couldn't follow where he was going, but that he trusted that it was somewhere, and that eventually he might get there. I get this. And I feel the same way about Shoenberg. Glenn Gould loved him and that's good enough for me--I can take his word it--and so I will try again, and maybe again.

The bracket I liked was "Becket to David Lynch to Green Acres." I'll stand by this one too. From the world of Petticoat Junction and Beverly Hillbillies came the hilariously surreal town of Hootersville. :)
 
Last edited:
Lol, I'd like to see a mashup of those 3 set to the music of Jerry Reed.

I'm still putting Davis above Schoenberg. Davis is painting a picture which is clear and recognizable, where as Schoenberg is mostly an abstract rendition of chaos, at least in my opinion. I can see where one might find similarities, it's chaotic, and unpredictable in both cases.

Davis starts playing here though, and I can immediately picture the breakneck pace of life in an old American city. The ceaseless traffic flooding in torrents through the cluttered intersections, trash blowing across the pavement as jets of warm air escape the manhole covers on a brisk November morning as the markets opened and a thousand hands began their stuttering symphony of chopping off fish heads and unfurling signs, pedestrians looking at watches and waiting anxiously at lights to cross. Cars angrily honking as they jockey for position.

With Schoenberg, I just see a Rorschach blot, and my brain imagines ink spilling onto a paper. Less inspiring in my view.
 
Rutabagas are a criminally underrepresented vegetable. It's difficult to believe that they, like Okra, have faded from popularity, and are now teetering on the edge of extinction. One would have imagined marketing campaigns such as this would have developed a long term cult following, and it's unquestionably mysterious that they have disappeared into obscurity.
 
can immediately picture the breakneck pace of life in an old American city. The ceaseless traffic flooding in torrents through the cluttered intersections, trash blowing acros
I get this too. There's a real emotional, as well as intellectual, deapth to a lot of this stuff that seems, on the surface, incomprehensible. I mentioned Jackson Pollock, and I can look at, say, Greyed Rainbow, and somehow respond, get inside it, feel it's beauty. But don't ask me to 'splain why.

1687896541480.jpeg


And sorry to have de-railed another thread, lol. Oh well.
 
Last edited:
Rutabagas are a criminally underrepresented vegetable. It's difficult to believe that they, like Okra, have faded from popularity, and are now teetering on the edge of extinction. One would have imagined marketing campaigns such as this would have developed a long term cult following, and it's unquestionably mysterious that they have disappeared into obscurity.
Yup. Now that I think about it, I don't know if I've ever eaten, or even seen, a rutabaga. But it sure is a funny word. :)
 
Back
Top