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watch Feedback on ad requested

Just made a quick commercial for the shop that rents my Epic for me, I'm feeling like it's a little undercooked. Anyone feel like I should sell it a little more?

What do you guys think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QvtrGV56aY
 
Maybe its just me but I felt a little voiceover work might have helped. Although there is always a danger of getting a cheesy infomercial style when using that, so maybe it is better without :/ so possible very unhelpful advice!

Other than that, it impressed me a lot, really slick, some great effects but more importantly well laid out and informative. It definitely gave me a clear idea of what I'd be getting and made me think it looked an attractive service. So kudos :)
 
I think I saw that intro robotic arm thing on another one of your videos and I don't really understand the purpose.

I know that this is flash and slick and well put together but it seems to be a lot of superfluous graphics with the key information barely registering. Obviously it would work better on a TV screen but if it's an ad then you should be able to clearly read the text on a YouTube screen as well. Obviously I could see the product but I could make out any rates, information, lens lengths, web address...etc.

I noticed on another ad you did (I think it was for some sort of auction site) that there were really nice graphics (in that case any city scape) but that they seemed totally unrelated to the product you're trying to sell. Out of curiosity, were these graphics that you'd designed before and then added the Camera Rental info to? Or did you custom build them?

Either way I think you need to make sure that if you are going to include flashy graphics that they serve some purpose in furthering the product. To me that seemed kind of messy and random and, to be honest, if I saw it on TV I would probably mention something to the person I'm watching with, like 'WTF?'

Obviously you've got a lot of talent and I'm not knocking that but I think you yourself acknowledge that there's something not right about this ad.
 
You have talent for this. However as far as the ad itself when it opened (and thinking I am Joe Schmo sitting in front of the tv and not on this site) I didn't know what the sell was. A robot arm that unfolded to a tv that I had to focus on (through my tv).

But thats me. I think for me the opening is either going to grab you or not. It grabs me but I thought it might be an ad for a tv or something.
 
I think it looks great. For the most part, I think it could be sped up, but just ever so slightly. It's actually pretty much perfectly-paced, as is, so maybe you don't change that.

I would, however, significantly change the pacing of the opening graphic. I get what Nick is saying, in that it doesn't actually relate to the product, but I think it's worth keeping in, simply for the "ooh-ahh" factor. But if you keep it in, I would make it much faster. Not only would the increase in speed get us to the essential info, faster, but I think it'd look really slick, if it had more of a Transformer-esque super-fast robotic change kind of feel.

Nice work!
 
It’s slick. What I don’t get is why they are the worlds best
rental company.

Lots of excellent graphics and stock shots of equipment. As a
renter I can rent the camera and lenses anywhere. Why should I go
to them? I gotta say that if you hadn’t told me in the text that
this was an ad for a rental company, I would think this is an ad
for the camera package.

I’m now sold on how cool the Epic is. Where should I rent it?
 
What media venue will this be shown on?
Company website exclusively and/or elsewhere?
Trade show on a big screen?

For 1:16 minutes of time I can find considerably more useful techspecs online, in fact my only two takeaways were that the Epic is available for rent at borrowlenses.com (a horrible name, BTW, unless they actually do "lend" them out and in fact do not RENT them out), which is a useless tidbit O knowledge if I was already searching their site and certainly doesn't distinguish "borrowing" an Epic from there as opposed to anyone else "lending" them out, and that you can make some kickasssssss! 2D+3D graphics.

The commercial doesn't communicate jack sh!t, bluntly.

And at 1:16 minutes to communicate jack sh!t... ? Ouch.

Who is the audience for this?
Do they already know WTH they're looking for/at?
Does the target market need to be educated on the product or just that borrowlenses.com is the best/d@mn-near-only deal in town?
Does the audience know what other Red products are available? From borrowlenses or elsewhere?
Is the audience likely looking at competitor venues for this material?
Is the audience likely looking at competitor products for this material?

What distinguishes "Why?" should I go get my Red Epic only at borrowlenses.com from this commercial?
 
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Ok, to clarify

This ad would go on a web site.

People that are there are already customers

Mostly they know about the epic, and all stats are on the same page as the video

The first line of text says "The Worlds best rental camera" not store.

The purpose of the video is more to get people psyched about renting the camera rather than being purely informative.

I agree on compressing the robot arm, and maybe cutting time and upping info during the midsection
 
The first line of text says "The Worlds best rental camera" not store.
I watched it twice and both times thought I saw "company". On
my third viewing just now I see it says "camera". It's so busy
and so small I misread it.

It's very slick and very professional. And it did sell me on the camera.
I guess if I were shopping around and didn't know what camera is
cool and hip and hot this would sway me.
 
Killer man. I love borrowlenses.com too. We've rented quite a few times from them and they've paid me for referrals.

What are they going to rent it for? The best part about them is that their 3 day price is the same as everyone's 1 day rental.
 
I think it looks amazing and you are really skilled at what you do! On the other hand i have to agree with everyone else about the robotic arm.

Also thats pretty cool that you have a website that rents out your EPIC for you!
 
Killer man. I love borrowlenses.com too. We've rented quite a few times from them and they've paid me for referrals.

What are they going to rent it for? The best part about them is that their 3 day price is the same as everyone's 1 day rental.

I made friends with the owner over the last 6 months. He's a really cool guy, a Russian that loves the Simpsons. We're going out shooting in a couple days.

I'm not sure how much they will rent it for, I made them agree to keep price within a few hundred of market.

As far as having a shop rent for me, yes, it's a good thing. Establishing autopilot income streams is a proven method for getting ahead, because it leaves your hands free to establish the next passive stream.
 
To me it looks like (a rather excellent) opening to a film introducing the camera. Not much there to get me wanting to hire that. It definitely grabs me by the throat and lets me know something very cool is coming up but at the moment I am far more impressed with your craft than the camera. I'd hire you in an instant, still not sold on the camera.
What does it mean to me? Specs mean nothing unless I get an idea of what it actually offers me. ie, when you mention the high frame rate, splice in an impressive slo-mo sequence etc.

Unless you are allowing the camera's reputation to sell it and are just introducing the fact that you can now rent it from borrowlenses then it's almost there. Need to give some advantages of renting there, low price, great support etc.
Needs to close with a snappy catchline at the end 'Step into the future of filmmaking now with the epic from borrow lenses''realise your epic vision with the epic from borrowlenses'. But obviously get someone much better than me to come up with it.
 
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