Can someone critique this trailer?

JBRpro

JBRpro

Hi, I'm editing this film called Vitality, its a small post-apoctalpytic flick about teenagers running around trying to find their parents. Sort of.

This is the first teaser trailer I've made for it, using alot of After Effects and compiled in Premiere. It's color corrected mostly.

I appreciate any feedback, as the rest of post-production will take me months and anything I get during that time will help me with the end product.

Thanks,
JBRpro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OehL2l-0tk :D
 
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not bad... I think if you could spend a little more time in secondary color correction, you could give a more post apocalyptic feel. There's not too much character-wise to latch onto, nor much of a sense of the story. I need to have a reason to want to watch the full film. For me, I need someone to worry about and more time was spent showcasing the environment than focusing on a character or two.

Some environmental sounds would help too, I think. The music was pretty, but I'm not sure it built anticipation for me.
 
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thanks for the quick reply,
what do you think about text usage in the trailer? to explain stuff. I always found it was corny. the color correction i am aware of, i think i just don't know how to do it right yet for the perfect balance. next time ill put more sounds
 
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post-apoctalpytic flick about teenagers running around trying to find their parents.
Click to expand...

That's not what the trailer says. (Trailer doesn't say much at all, tbh)

Sure, it's a teaser-trailer, but even those usually throw the audience a bone or two. While they can get away with being a bit cryptic, they also tend to be much shorter 'cos they ain't gonna be showin' that much, either.

Not including the (out-of-place-looking) open/end graphic titles, cut it down to 15 seconds. That will force you to be extremely selective with the material you wish to tease the audience with (and to question each choice you select).

At almost two minutes long (and all sloooo-mo) it moves slowly while not sharing anything with the viewer... and that doesn't get an audience excited or curious at all.

Show me some/the conflict!

Hope that helped some. :)
 
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Ya, it doesn't really say enough to lure you in. A touch more would be nice. I like a balance of 'what the' with 'oh that's cool'.

I agree with the above--a general tweak to the overall grading and correction would be nice. I think you could probably find a 'post apocalyptic filter' if you look hard enough. :)

I don't want to be jaded in saying this, but it's just a little hard for me to watch a group of teenagers and only teenagers in a film. I know you're probably just playing around and learning...but while you're building your skill set, you should try and get some adults in the film to play other characters. It will add a ton of production value instantly, trust me. And it will give you the opportunity to work with actors not your friends--which if you're serious about making films, may end up being the majority of the time. Trust me...it's not hard to find older actors to work in your film, and they aren't going to be any worse than your friends in terms of acting. I don't mean that to be offensive, I mean that from a production standpoint. It's amazing how much production value a 50 year old guy playing a scientist can do for your film (instead of a 21 year old scientist).

It's great that you are doing it. Keep making them.
 
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Hey great effort! I can see you worked pretty hard on some of this. Id like to suggest a few things though.

Im at work, so I watched without sound.. so..

Too long.
Doesn't feel like the end of the world. Try losing some of the lush greenery, make it a bit brown and dead looking..
The composting of the fire in the opening scene is NOT working for me at all
Your actors seem too relaxed when walking down the street..
Add a couple more layers for each muzzle flash.. looks 2D right now.


I like Steve's idea... Grab me by the nostril hairs and don't let go for 15 seconds!
 
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I think you can show enough story without using text... images make relationships when you put a cut between them, use those relationships between clips to tell the story. From Mamet's "On Directing"... A shot of a man sitting followed by a shot of a click implies that he is waiting for something... a shot then of someone walking down a hallway makes that the person he's waiting for.

This is the fundamental basis for Eisenstein's concept of "montage", not just the training kind so popular in films, but the psychological effect of the edit... look up "the Kuleshov Experiment" on youtube to see examples of the initial research that was done using the technique.

Starting out the trailer with a Mid - CU of the main protagonist will give us someone that we can follow through the mini-story that you'll be telling in the trailer. The audience then has a face they've been introduced to at the beginning of the story you're presenting. Keep coming back to that person reacting to the conflict shots... it'll build that relationship for us.

The fire does need some extra work to get it to blend in better... it's a tad bright/saturated and more opaque than fire would be in broad daylight. It also isn't affecting the surrounding stuff by either scorching or reflecting off of it.
 
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Hey, it looks like you got some nice shots in there.

I'll have to agree with Zensteve. You're not really telling us anything in this trailer. You could either cut the trailer down, drastically, or tell us a whole lot more.

Some of your effects were very convincing, for me. I'm not really sold on that fakey fire effect. The blood-splatters looked pretty damned good, though, and I normally am not a fan of AE blood-splatters.

Which part of the city did you shoot this in? Shoreline? Greenwood/145th?
 
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thank you very much for the feedback this is all incredibly helpful.

addressing the fire, yeah its pretty bad im still not sure how to sell it correctly.

cracker im in the federal way and burien area, but we plan to shoot a movie in shoreline pretty soon, we use alot of different venues.

when i establish the characters and create a short teaser, i find it difficult to be a seller without a great deal of good angled environment shots, i just need to learn how to condense.

with color correction i think i just need to desaturate, more bleak look, i agree that the color might be too lush.

when i composite the fire, do you think that just a smoke over the building would be better? fairly thick. i just need to set up more apocalyptic settings and its hard in a chill pill neighborhood :p

thanks
 
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I'm afraid I don't have any advice for the desired fire/smoke effect.

To make it more post-apocalyptic, I think you just need to change your locations. And, perhaps rewrite the story.

Locations -- you might wanna venture into the CD, perhaps Rainier Valley. If you're really feeling adventureous, you could find some great locations in Tacoma. Just make sure you're travelling in groups, eh? I'll bet you could shoot an awesome scene at Gasworks.

Story -- maybe you rewrite it so that it's very recently post-apocalyptic? Cuz you're gonna have a lot of shots of recently-cut grass, and stuff like that.
 
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The fire scene doesn't work, as stated above. You can do better with keying a fire out of an angular object, as opposed to a very detail-edged bush.

And you need to do it more often...not just the establishing shot. You need to set this up as a constant...and that's tough to do.

You can drop your color pretty hardcore...this isn't the best example, but watch this trailer (friends of mine), on a few of the outdoor scenes, you will see the gritty color grade...try that: http://vimeo.com/9194215

You can also take still photos of specif buildings and put destruction in them...there are a few Video Copilot examples of how to do that...fairly simple. We just did some for our 48hr actually, and they turned out pretty good.

You may need to purchase some good preset fires and assets to make things look good...which sucks, but it may make a difference. Spending $20 on a three set of realistic greenscreened fires might be worth it.
 
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If you could put up stills of the background footage and the fire element you're using, I'll take a stab at compositing it for you, then let you know what I did with it.

and what are you using for editing, compositing and color correction?
 
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Here's an honest opinion:

- Doesn't tell a story.

- I see a lot of running and not what they're running from.

- There is no recoil from firing on the roof. Unrealistic.

- The kid carrying the sawed-off is holding it incorrectly. (wheatgrinder correct me if I'm wrong) but no-one would hold a shot with his palm around the tip of the barrel - would get too hot.

- There's no dialogue or anything to describe or tell what you're watching. It sounds like a song that would play in the Gap but you're showing a massacre. Doesn't match in my opinion.

- In my opinion, army fatigues are always pants and never shorts. I have never seen an infantry in cargo shorts.

- I would really like to see a more inventive soundtrack. Don't know if you have any of that yet but some teasers have at least some foley and some dialogue.

- Try more inventive camera angles and shots. It looks like the camera-man is holding it chest-height throughout the whole movie and this would get boring real fast. Try camera angles from the ground, above, through windows, through bushes, anything.

- It also seems like the actors are aware they are being filmed and are putting too much effort into it. Especially the lone shots of the guy walking down the street. Looks like he's trying to amp it up for no reason and it's distracting. Of course, I don't know what the story is about - so who am I to judge?

In all, I don't think I would want to see this movie solely from seeing this trailer.

Sorry if I'm a bit harsh but I don't want to be a yes-man on this. Kudos for putting it up for us to check out.

Put some sound in it and I'll critique that and help you make it good.
 
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Thanks for sharing the trailer. Someone correct me if I'm wrong. Isn't it really hard to create an effective trailer with no dialog, narration or title cards? (I'm sure there are exceptions)
Also, most trailers introduce a main character. On another note.
I'm concerned that nobody over the age of 30 survived the end of the world. I'm doomed! :(
 
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hahaha thanks guys.

cracker, your talk about filming in tacoma, we went down there and ended up having to leave cuz it was too shady. don't worry, i know what you mean haha.

roc, thanks for the input, all of your points are valid and i agree to the last bit. i just overlook alot of things during filming, as much time as i put into pre and post production.

michael, i will look into those suggestions on getting predestroyed buildings, i dont like my fire and am willing to try anything to make it look better.

knightley, i'll look into getting those stills, im curious to see what the pros can do with it.

goober, they are airsoft guns that are full metal. essentially just ensure that if you are using replicas like that, the orange tips are gone, not taped over either, but literally gone. go nuts out haha

finderskeepers, i um, i apologize for the lack of adults. they all uh, drove away for the summer.

i need to find adult actors and write the script this time. most of this was out of my control except the filming which i agree was bad. thanks for the input i am really learning alot from this.
 
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The fire is running at different frame rate, and looks like a video game sprite.. very strange.. :-)

If your in AE, play with the frame blending modes for the layer, it might help a lot.. it will KILL your render time.. but its just for the first shot.. which could be much shorter anyway...
 
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Do you have After Effects?

For fire footage I use Video Copilot Action Essentials 2.

For free stuff check out detonationfilms.com

Also a LOT more smoke for that nearby fire.. and heat distortion of the trees.. imagine what it would look like if there was areal fire there..


The size of the fire you have WOULD look correct in slow motion.. you can add some particles from particle world to lend some more depth. Rising embers above the fire, and swirling ash and smoke all over would look good.. .. reality is composed of many layers.. just add more layers in your comps and it will start feeling right.
 
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