I would really like to know if, by watching it, you'd say this was made with no money; and if yes, then where it shows.
Pretty cool! But, to answer your question, I think there are too many repetitive shots - guy with the stick, the, the guy with the sunglasses and lap top, the concrete warehouse building. The lighting is a bit amateur, but not awful. The shots don't "pop" though. And, the lack of conveying some kind of story. This is just a montage without a lot of ideas. Yes, there is a VHS, a chip embedded in someone's palm, what looks like a hacker, etc. But, what are the characters to each other? What are their goals? Is there a bad guy? A good guy? A romantic angle? The purpose of a pitch film or trailer is to lure viewers and investors.
Rebecca reminds me a little of Alicia Vikander. It was good when she raised her eyebrows, but some close ups of her emoting fear, anger, or something, other than squatting next to a guy in a warehouse, would be effective. She has a great look. You had a chance to showcase a good fear closeup when she gets grabbed, but I don't know if you have such a shot.
The editing is snazzy. The retro film/video look is alright, except it makes a lot of mediocre shots look worse than they are, such as the guy with gun by the water.
Also, there are no older actors. This has some kids in it, but where are the character actors? If you don't have older actors available, you can get a lot of mileage out of using a parent, aunt, or uncle, just for their look. As this is, it's a trailer with approximately four people.
I can tell you have some filmmaking chops. There are a few interesting shots - the hand on the wall in the foreground, the dark shot of the guy turning his head, the girl getting grabbed, etc. Your editing and your actress hold the most production value, in my opinion. If you cut the repetitive shots and introduce more of the story, I think a 1 min, 45 sec trailer would be the way to go.
It's hard, but when a scriptwriter can condense his concept into a single sentence log line, people respond more. Attention spans are short. People like to be dazzled with a quick trailer or a log line idea. I think you might have an interesting concept here, but you need to bring it out more.
