Rate my new movie, LayUp

How do you rate lay up

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something is wrong when 1/6 of your runtime has expired and the movie still hasnt even started yet.
imagine if a two hour feature film did that... 20 minutes of opening credits and title sequence. Thats the proportional equivalent of what we have here.

most of your audience has already turned off the movie and stopped now
 
something is wrong when 1/6 of your runtime has expired and the movie still hasnt even started yet.
imagine if a two hour feature film did that... 20 minutes of opening credits and title sequence. Thats the proportional equivalent of what we have here.

most of your audience has already turned off the movie and stopped now
True, but I put it there to set-up the story
 
something is wrong when 1/6 of your runtime has expired and the movie still hasnt even started yet.
imagine if a two hour feature film did that... 20 minutes of opening credits and title sequence. Thats the proportional equivalent of what we have here.

most of your audience has already turned off the movie and stopped now
Btw, you should probably watch past the opening credits
 
I just did a quick search.. here are entire short films that told in less time than your introduction credits
its lot for a random stranger to give you a minute of their time. if you cant capture their attention in an entire minute dont expect them to stay longer

 
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I like the intro. But you can't get into the habit of using footage and music you do not have the right to use. Fun little practice film. If you want to be more serious:
1. Do not use music you do not have the rights to.
2. Same goes for footage (NBA).
3. Get actors that don't laugh or smirk when they are not supposed to. I'm sure this is your friend and he was not really into it but if you want to improve find people serious about it.
4. Tighten up your edits and sound.
Not bad! I watched it all and did not have the problem the others did with the intro. However one pitfall that young filmmakers fall into is trying to look bigger than they are. Studio-like intros, etc. They are fine but do not make you look bigger than you are. The film will speak for itself. Don't give the film a perceived value of being something bigger than it is. What happens is you have a studio-like intro and then smack! A home movie looking film which is fine but it can cause disappointment. Put that same energy into the film.

Keep it up! This one is better than the last ones. That's the key. Keep getting better.
 
I thought the intro was quite well made, probably too long for a short film, but would work for a feature length movie. As others have said though, if you dont have the rights to the sports clips or the music you're on sticky ground.

Unfortunately, the rest of the film had a very different feel. Much more amateurish. Nothing wrong with that, but the film needs to be consistent in its theme and exceution as a whole.

I'm not sure what the purpose of not showing the final shot was either. I don't think it added anything to just hear the net, let us see him make that shot. That is surely the whole point of the story.

Only other advice I would say is firstly to invest in some better sound equipment. Half the time I could just hear wind rather than the guy talking. Secondly, think about using some proper actors, I'm guessing the guy is a friend of yours but no matter how good a filmmaker you are, your film will look weak if the actors can't act. Consider getting in touch with some local amatuer dramatic groups and ask if they would like to get involved in your productions perhaps.
 
I like the intro. But you can't get into the habit of using footage and music you do not have the right to use. Fun little practice film. If you want to be more serious:
1. Do not use music you do not have the rights to.
2. Same goes for footage (NBA).
3. Get actors that don't laugh or smirk when they are not supposed to. I'm sure this is your friend and he was not really into it but if you want to improve find people serious about it.
4. Tighten up your edits and sound.
Not bad! I watched it all and did not have the problem the others did with the intro. However one pitfall that young filmmakers fall into is trying to look bigger than they are. Studio-like intros, etc. They are fine but do not make you look bigger than you are. The film will speak for itself. Don't give the film a perceived value of being something bigger than it is. What happens is you have a studio-like intro and then smack! A home movie looking film which is fine but it can cause disappointment. Put that same energy into the film.

Keep it up! This one is better than the last ones. That's the key. Keep getting better.
Thank you for the advice!
 
I thought the intro was quite well made, probably too long for a short film, but would work for a feature length movie. As others have said though, if you dont have the rights to the sports clips or the music you're on sticky ground.

Unfortunately, the rest of the film had a very different feel. Much more amateurish. Nothing wrong with that, but the film needs to be consistent in its theme and exceution as a whole.

I'm not sure what the purpose of not showing the final shot was either. I don't think it added anything to just hear the net, let us see him make that shot. That is surely the whole point of the story.

Only other advice I would say is firstly to invest in some better sound equipment. Half the time I could just hear wind rather than the guy talking. Secondly, think about using some proper actors, I'm guessing the guy is a friend of yours but no matter how good a filmmaker you are, your film will look weak if the actors can't act. Consider getting in touch with some local amatuer dramatic groups and ask if they would like to get involved in your productions perhaps.
Thanks for the help!
 
Was that in CT because the ice cream scene looked like Port Jefferson LI NY.
 
Honestly, it was because we didn't have good footage of it going in.
Funny you say that as it was one of the things that didn't really come off as believable in this movie (maybe I overestimated his ability). I don't know if you meant it as a parody or not, but there's no way someone's going to take days on end of practicing to make one simple shot from right in front of the basket.

The film would have been more engaging and made more sense if he was trying to make some incredible shot, like something you see on youtube, where they throw it from 50 yards and bounce it off a roof then onto something else and into the net. It becomes believable then, seeing him try day after day to make it and getting disheartened. You can empathise with the desire and commitment of the protaganist.

You could even fake the final shot with some clever editing, just break up the different aspects of the trick shot. Take a look at that final putt scene in Happy Gimore as an example of what I mean.

Whatever you decide, let's see it go in the net!
 
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