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Writing and insomnia.

T

TI Irwin

I have been having HUGE issues with sleep since I started writing. Here's my problem: I can't fall asleep when I'm in deep thought. I've always had this as an issue but since I started pursuing writing hardcore, it's been unbearable.
If used to be that I'd lose sleep once every couple of months, but never a consistent thing. At that time it usually was something non-productive that kept me awake: Thinking about a girl or worried about an exam at school. Now it's a weekly occurrence and it's almost always my writing that keeps me up.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I could take sleeping pills or something, and get my much needed rest, but at the same time, some of my best writing comes to me at 2 and 5 AM. Biggest catch 22 of my life.

I think a part of the problem is also that I used to be a pretty big pothead. Now marijuana isn't really a harmful substance, but it's like alcohol. It has the capacity to make you pass out. Now that I'm sober, (Due to the law ONLY. If it were legal, I'd be smoking weed every day of my life.) I don't have weed to put myself to sleep during insomniatic episodes.

Right now, I'm running on less than 3 hours of sleep. I'm tired as hell but I can't seem to shut myself down. I've tried everything short of medicine. Eating, drinking, smoking (cigarettes), writing, physical activity, shitting... nothing seems to be able to make me sleep.

Anyone else have this problem? How do you cope without sacrificing your creative edge?

It's getting to be very frustrating...
 
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I am at times still (but used to be) exactly like that. The worst is you when you just have no more creative left, but are all strung out and it won’t stop. One of the things I discovered as I got older is cycles of creative. I came to realize these cycle had always been there, but I just wasn’t aware of them -so I didn’t heed their call, now I live by’em. What I mean by “cycle” is I have a writing cycle, a film or edit or create something visual cycle, a music cycle, a build stuff cycle and a I just want to read a book cycle. When I wasn’t aware of this I was lost, unable to sleep (People constantly like “Dude you never frickin’ sleep!”) and I would be aggravated a lot from trying to force things and create out of cycle. Now, if I’m not in a particular cycle I won’t even bother with that kind creativity. Look for cycles in yourself, if they are there learn when and which you are naturally trying to direct yourself to be in.

Another thing I came to realize when the writing demon won’t shut off, I can kind of… not put the transmission into neutral, but divert the power. What I learned to do is simply go to sleep writing in my head. If that monster won’t turn off, then let'em have at it in your dreams.

I know both things sound weird, but over time trying to fight creativity and/or the constant 3 or 4 day stints of no sleep will tear you down and burn you out and steal from your life like an obsession.
I used to try to get more exercise and wear myself out, and that was good, but I got used to it and still, I can be beaten and bruised and climb a mountain and be dead exhausted, but when that demon says “Its go-time Mfer!”, its like someone hits a dumpster with a baseball bat in my mind and BANG I bolt awake with “Write! Write! Write!” screaming in my head and flowing through my veins -no matter what I want, or if I am tired or not, but I’ve come to manage that much much better by knowing when to write and learning to fall asleep writing in my head.

-Thanks-
 
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Buddy Greenfield said:
I am at times still (but used to be) exactly like that. The worst is you when you just have no more creative left, but are all strung out and it won’t stop. One of the things I discovered as I got older is cycles of creative. I came to realize these cycle had always been there, but I just wasn’t aware of them -so I didn’t heed their call, now I live by’em. What I mean by “cycle” is I have a writing cycle, a film or edit or create something visual cycle, a music cycle, a build stuff cycle and a I just want to read a book cycle. When I wasn’t aware of this I was lost, unable to sleep (People constantly like “Dude you never frickin’ sleep!”) and I would be aggravated a lot from trying to force things and create out of cycle. Now, if I’m not in a particular cycle I won’t even bother with that kind creativity. Look for cycles in yourself, if they are there learn when and which you are naturally trying to direct yourself to be in.

Another thing I came to realize when the writing demon won’t shut off, I can kind of… not put the transmission into neutral, but divert the power. What I learned to do is simply go to sleep writing in my head. If that monster won’t turn off, then let'em have at it in your dreams.

I know both things sound weird, but over time trying to fight creativity and/or the constant 3 or 4 day stints of no sleep will tear you down and burn you out and steal from your life like an obsession.
I used to try to get more exercise and wear myself out, and that was good, but I got used to it and still, I can be beaten and bruised and climb a mountain and be dead exhausted, but when that demon says “Its go-time Mfer!”, its like someone hits a dumpster with a baseball bat in my mind and BANG I bolt awake with “Write! Write! Write!” screaming in my head and flowing through my veins -no matter what I want, or if I am tired or not, but I’ve come to manage that much much better by knowing when to write and learning to fall asleep writing in my head.

-Thanks-
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None of that sounds weird actually. I can relate.

I also have cycles but I've really just started writing hardcore so they aren't really refined yet. I just do what comes to me, ya know? I never try to force writing, but If I feel inspired to write, I use it. I'm writing my feature with intentions of directing it as well. I realize that I'll need a rep as a director to do that so I'm shuffling between other (smaller) scripts, reading, watching, drawing storyboards, networking, brainstorming, and anything else that I feel would help with my work. I even play video games for inspiration. (Some are actually EXTREMELY useful and informative. Anymore, video games are interactive movies. Or at least the good ones are.)

Based on your last comment, I'm guessing that creativity is just one of those things you have to allow to destroy you, ya know? Sacrifice your life for the craft at times.

lol I should be out getting drunk and laid like every other 19 year old college student, but I'd rather work on my career. I guess it will pay off in the end if I stick it out. Who knows? I might end up getting yachts and playboy models out of my writing :yes:
 
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ROC said:
I take a walk and look at things outside in the environment and get my attention outward as opposed to 2 feet in front of me on a computer screen.

Extrovert.
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I do that already, when I go out for a smoke. It's forced, (my parent's won't tolerate my smoking inside) but it helps A LOT. I live out in the middle of nowhere MO, so nature is out the front door. I prefer a city environment, but I can get a pretty good grasp on my thought out here.

Great advice. Thanks.
 
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It’s great and mandatory to be focused and ambitious, but while you are young know there are, and make time and room in your life for other things and people. It’s in the extreme, but some writers and other creative types often can’t see beyond the immediate gratification of what they are working on, they lock themselves away in their head and don’t let others in. This is relationships poison. When playing god of creation one must not make oneself Frankenstein’s monster.

-Thanks-
 
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Definitely true. I'm definitely locked away from society right now, but I could never be antisocial. I like women and having fun too much. I'll eventually get some r&r time in, but for the moment I'm content being lonely and obsessive with my writing. lol

And the "one legged hooker" comment had me rolling! Good shit!
 
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I'll have you know one-legged hookers are the bomb.

Buddy's advice is top-notch (as always).

When you're 19, your body (and brain) can endure serious abuse such as sleep-dep and bounce back. When you reach the old-fart threshold, not so much. I'd worry less about that (you'll learn your bio-rhythms soon enough and, if not, your body will do what it needs to continue to function, such as slamming you face down into your Cheerios in a deep sleep), and more about organizing your time and setting priorities.

As for self-inflicted social-ostracization, you're a nerd. No disrespect intended, just a statement of fact. I'm a nerd, too. Obsession with succeeding in the realization of your goal levies a price; nerd-dom is one. Being tired all the time is another. How bad do you want it?

I'd say a lot, depending on what I've seen.

Carry on and, whatever you do, don't drive a fucking car while I'm on the road, ok?

Cheers!

-Charles
 
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Plenty of college students are getting drunk, but not laid. You should feel no need to envy your peers.

Based on my own experiences, and my observations of others, I think you will undergo more changes in the next five years than at any other time in your life. All I'm saying is that you should not feel like you have to be in crisis-mode. You will DEFINITELY get past these difficulties.
 
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Adeimantus said:
I'll have you know one-legged hookers are the bomb.

Buddy's advice is top-notch (as always).

When you're 19, your body (and brain) can endure serious abuse such as sleep-dep and bounce back. When you reach the old-fart threshold, not so much. I'd worry less about that (you'll learn your bio-rhythms soon enough and, if not, your body will do what it needs to continue to function, such as slamming you face down into your Cheerios in a deep sleep), and more about organizing your time and setting priorities.

As for self-inflicted social-ostracization, you're a nerd. No disrespect intended, just a statement of fact. I'm a nerd, too. Obsession with succeeding in the realization of your goal levies a price; nerd-dom is one. Being tired all the time is another. How bad do you want it?

I'd say a lot, depending on what I've seen.

Carry on and, whatever you do, don't drive a fucking car while I'm on the road, ok?

Cheers!

-Charles
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Cracker Funk said:
Plenty of college students are getting drunk, but not laid. You should feel no need to envy your peers.

Based on my own experiences, and my observations of others, I think you will undergo more changes in the next five years than at any other time in your life. All I'm saying is that you should not feel like you have to be in crisis-mode. You will DEFINITELY get past these difficulties.
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I am a nerd. But I don't have any issues with my social life because of it. One of the things I leaned early on is that being a nerd doesn't impede popularity. It's how you interact with other people that does. For the longest time I felt I had to act a certain way to cover the fact that I'm a nerd. I changed the way I acted, and the way I talked.
Mostly I hid the fact that I'm smart. When you're a light-skinned Black kid, speaking with intelligence gives people a reason to call you "White". I AM part white, but denying me my Black heritage is a huge insult. I couldn't handle that as a child so I pretended to be you're typical stereotypical "gangsta" black guy. I've always been a decent actor so it wasn't too difficult to pull off, and I went through this change after moving out of state, so no one knew the nerdy side of me out here. (Basically "The New Guy" parallels my real life.)
It wasn't all about trying to impress other people, more of a lack of identity. I didn't know who I was so I acted outside of my norm to try and figure it out. Thankfully, I've grown out of that. And the experience shaped me into who I am now. I am proudly a gangsta ass nerd ;)

Who said anything about envy? Because of the above, and my looks (Women love a tall dark and handsome guy... I'm just being honest.), I don't have any trouble getting laid. What I meant by that statement is that I WANT to go out and get laid like anyone else. But I don't have the time.

"How bad do you want it?" - Extremely good question. I've never wanted anything as much in my entire life. And I say that in complete honesty. I've always loved movies. At first it was just acting, but eventually I fell in love with the entire process. That's why I take this so seriously.
Every teacher I've ever had in school told me that I should be an A+ student. I have always the intelligence to do so. What I lack is the drive for school. I never cared enough to truly push myself for grades, so I've been a mediocre student my entire life. My current gpa is below a 2.0, but I scored a 27 on the ACT the only time I ever took it.
Getting into film, however, is different. I DO care enough about that to put the time, effort, and sacrifice into it. So like I said, I want to be out having a good time with friends and chasing pussy, but I've made this the priority. For the first time in my life I give a fuck about something, or better, I LOVE something, and I'm willing to fight for it. I'm ready to kill for it. (If someone steals my script and somehow moves past my copyrights, then I seriously would end their life. Crazy? Yes. Honest? You could bet your ass on it.) Most importantly, I'm willing to sacrifice other things I care about for it. Things like sleep, sex, and marijuana.

And I'll try to stay off the roads. lol Lucky for you, my transmission has failed and I'm a shitty mechanic.

Thanks for your words and encouragement guys!
 
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if i REALLY, REALLY need to get to sleep then i make myself pass-out. then when you wake up from passing out you feel kind of euphoric and then you can just relax and fall asleep. its probably really dangerous but i only do it when i am REEALLLYY tired and cant get to sleep. =D
 
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Smurfy8797 said:
if i REALLY, REALLY need to get to sleep then i make myself pass-out. then when you wake up from passing out you feel kind of euphoric and then you can just relax and fall asleep. its probably really dangerous but i only do it when i am REEALLLYY tired and cant get to sleep. =D
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Mind telling me how you do this? You can PM if you like.
 
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Mind telling me how you do this? You can PM if you like.
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ok you stand up straight like normal. then crouch over so your head is near your toes and then breath in and out extremely heavily until you feel light headed and slightly dizzy. it will take about 30 breaths

DONT SPEAK OR LAUGH WHILST HYPERVENTALATING - IT WONT WORK

then after you feel dizzy like that ^^ take 1 more deep breath, stand up straight again really quickly and blow on your thumb (put your thumb in your mouth)and make sure not to let any air out of your nose or mouth. keep on blowing on your thumb, HARD, then you will eventually, after 4 or 5 seconds feel like you want to pass out, dont resist it, just go with it and fall down, you will know you are falling but you will be out before you hit the floor so make sure there is no hard surfaces to hit your head on ( i learnt the hard way)

you will only be out for maximum 20 seconds (unless you were knocked unconcious from your fall)

then when you wake up you will feel like you're on psychedelic drugs, its an amazing feeling, and at this point, anything that was keeping you awake is no longer in your mind. just stand up and fall asleep on your bed, or even better pass out on your bed and then just try fall asleep when you wake up.

(standing on your bed whilst doing this is not advised as it is pretty high)

its depriving your brain of oxygen so dont do it too often in one day. if it doesnt work then dont try it more than 3 or 4 times, wait a couple of days.

if this isnt working, google it or look up a video on youtube. ;-> bit off topic but there u go for anyone else that wntd to know.
 
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Smurfy8797 said:
woo ^^ thats pretty unhealthy
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You're telling me. One thing is for sure. I'm not driving to save my life. I think this is all going to come back in one swift LONG sleep. I definitely see the collapsing into the bowl of cheerios in the near future...

Going on day four now. I think I have gotten some sleep but it was like a hour... which doesn't really help :(

If I wasn't so used to the loss in brain capacity from sleep deprivation, my post would looook like wths. Seriously. And If I don't make any sense that's why... lol

On the plus side, I wrote the best song I've ever written. And I did it in like 8 hours. (Normally I take a few days to write a song.) I write rap as a distraction from screenwriting. It's actually much more difficult than people think to come up with intelligent rap lyrics. I mean anyone can talk about gold chains and 20 inch rims, but I rap about my life. Which includes filmmaking and a load of beliefs that I am not going to talk about because I like this forum and I don't need an argument over my opinions getting me banned. (This happened on a different forum after I pissed off a few racists...) Anyways, I think I write rap TO film. Music videos are another way to promote myself as a filmmaker and I can't think of a better musician to start with than the one I know won't sue me for copyright infringement no matter what I do: ME. lol

Oh yeah, and I based the song on insomnia. It's called "Undertaker's Insomnia". I refer to myself as the undertake in a metaphoric sense. The song is about murdering the bling bling of rap mainstream so that it can be resurrected into hip hop. So step 1 is burying the industry and who better than an "underground" rapper. Get it?

I think I got off subject. What was this trread about? Oh yeah, sleep and lack there of. Well it's currently 5:45 AM and I've been awake since... well I honestly can't remember if I've slept or when. It's all sort of blurred right now.

And yes, I'm weird for posting this on the internet, but whatever.
 
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