archived-videos What am I missing in this video I made???

R

rakesh1985

Hi guys,

I am an amaetuer filmmaker. I learn from the videos i make and also regularly read this forum (got some good feedback for my last videos from here).

Here is my recent video/commercial I made for the Doritos contest. I did have a good script. But somehow could not create a "Professional commercial" that can be shown on TV.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9QfaAs3EvA

Tried to get good costumes, established a set similar to an airport, but What else???:huh::huh::huh::huh:
Can you guys tell me what is missing. What else should I had done to make it a "Michael Bay" commercial.
 
Upvote 0
Lots of fun... little dark in some areas, esp at the end... mebbe some dialog / fear shown about his bag...some dialog from the screeners. still well done IMO
 
It's a good funny commercial. It just wasn't executed properly for any type of broadcast.

The shots needed to be framed better.

The background needed to add more to the shots. (I just recently started noticing how important the bg is to shots, especially in commercials)

The acting needed to be better.

It just needed more polish.

But, don't get me wrong. It was good. Better then anything I could do for something like that. It was enjoyable to watch.
 
I agree, the acting is just mediocre. I had to starr in it as I could not find anyone to play the foreigner.

I guess it is a little dark at the end. I had to color correct it as it was a little bright.
In fact, I used lighting for the video, but was not able to achive the professional effect.

Do you guys know where I can learn a bit or two about lighting in a movie/commercial?
 
I think your shot, and shot quality was also a big factor. The first shot where you come in with the feet and then proceed up to the head should have been done on either a track, rail, steady cam, or even just shot way better.

I also think your shot framing could have been improved by splitting the next shot up into to two shots, the wanding, and then the walking through the detector, and actually reversing them since you would get wanded after going through the detector.

I also think if your shot quality was upped your editing would have been smoother.

For lighting, if you have a friend who's a photographer I would start with something like that. It's free, and you can learn basics even if it's only of flashes, you can still watch them set up shots and correct them. You can learn allot of the basics with some thing like this.
 
The devil is in the details. Details are hashed out during preproduction and acted upon during the shoot.

Your concept was pretty good. The execution required a lot more effort. Why couldn't you find an actor for the suspected traveler? Did you really want to do it yourself, were you concerned about casting a stereotype, or were you just lazy or in a hurry to get the project done? (We don't have to know, but be honest with yourself.) Putting yourself in front of the camera detracts from your job of being the director of the commercial.

Think about what you want to say about the protagonist. Start with the protagonist walking through the seating area; he gets some nervous looks. He needs to (initially) be a little more menacing. You also need to show some of his nervousness, maybe a close up of him wiping sweaty hands on his pants. The bag should have gone through the X-ray machine; the metallic bags will look like blocks of explosives; that initiates the takedown. And the "takedown" needs to be much more defined (too short and far away), I almost missed it completely! I can't understand what he says at the end. The music was much too cliche and overused; I knew it was supposed to be "funny" from the first three seconds. Something darker and more suspenseful so the "twist" of the Doritos hits harder. Way over-the-top sound design/effects may have played much better.

Just my two ducats.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top