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plot Tried to create a plot

WOBBLE
Genre- Romantic Comedy

A teen boy DONNIE MORALES(17) from the hustling city of Brussacks(a fictional town)
suffers from a rare condition of (wobbling whenever he walks and fails to judge the opposite person's way and end up colliding).This condition made him to cut off with the outside world and he started avoiding long walks or any walking trails that made him sit in his chair all the time playing video games ... he dropped out of the school as he dislikes the typical education system and has a great zeal to pursue online gaming as a career..His father is a business tycoon holding multiple islands in Bahamas, ports, houses, cars,etc.. He would manage time to meet him at least once a month.. He hates his father as he betrayed his mother and filed a divorce against her and forced his son to stay with him as he took over the custody of Donnie.
From now onwards, this story will experience how this boy coincidentally collide with a girl that eventually becomes the love of his life and together they fight his rare condition with many ups and downs alongside..
 

sfoster

Staff Member
Moderator
You’re not done. No plot it’s just a setup and a concept
if this were a plot I would know things. A boy meets girl story and you don’t even list how they meet or why they love each other. They story is about them right, a romance. It’s just a blip in the paragraph
 
Last edited:

directorik

IndieTalk's Resident Guru
indiePRO
What you have here is some backstory – dropped out of school, what
his father does, his parents divorce, custody hearings. But no plot.

“From now onwards” is where your plot lives.

Drop all of the backstory and tell us what your story is about.
 
I think the father's life is too big. It's sucking all the air out of the room for this kid with a condition. Make the condition (or the love interest) the A story, pick your B, then scale the rest of it to support, not upstage. As written I want to hear more about dad. Dude sounds like a badass.
 
You’re not done. No plot it’s just a setup and a concept
if this were a plot I would know things. A boy meets girl story and you don’t even list how they meet or why they love each other. They story is about them right, a romance. It’s just a blip in the paragraph
Okay..I'll try to develop it then ..thanks for the reminding me 😊
 
I think the father's life is too big. It's sucking all the air out of the room for this kid with a condition. Make the condition (or the love interest) the A story, pick your B, then scale the rest of it to support, not upstage. As written I want to hear more about dad. Dude sounds like a badass.
Okay...😊 Badass..as you say
 
It could be a cool short, maybe even silent short film, depicting how social awkwardness isn't always a bad thing? And that if you are just brave enough to be yourself amongst the crowd, you will find someone who could love you for all your quirks???

I don't know if there is enough meat there to build on beyond that though. You would have to be very dialogue heavy to spice up the action, especially if the kid just wobbling and bumping into things as the inciting incident.
 
WOBBLE
Genre- Romantic Comedy

A teen boy DONNIE MORALES(17) from the hustling city of Brussacks(a fictional town)
suffers from a rare condition of (wobbling whenever he walks and fails to judge the opposite person's way and end up colliding).This condition made him to cut off with the outside world and he started avoiding long walks or any walking trails that made him sit in his chair all the time playing video games ... he dropped out of the school as he dislikes the typical education system and has a great zeal to pursue online gaming as a career..His father is a business tycoon holding multiple islands in Bahamas, ports, houses, cars,etc.. He would manage time to meet him at least once a month.. He hates his father as he betrayed his mother and filed a divorce against her and forced his son to stay with him as he took over the custody of Donnie.
From now onwards, this story will experience how this boy coincidentally collide with a girl that eventually becomes the love of his life and together they fight his rare condition with many ups and downs alongside..
No offense, but where is comedy? :)
 
I just don't know man.. I have to improvise a lot..maybe including a creepy close friend doing all the shitty stuff and framing the protagonist for fun..And the protagonist need to deal with those shit!
ok. Might be a good idea, though I saw a movie with a similar plot you've described and the bad thing is that action is moved by not by the main lead, so the movie becomes a movie about the crazy guy
 
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