No one said anything negative, so I'm kinda worried.
Your rewrite, in which you took plenty of advice from this thread, made the dialog and action more natural. You set up an appearance of the sick dude in the bathroom, which makes his next appearance a little less out-of-the-blue. The advice could be called "negative" because it pointed out some things that just didn't work, but you're confident enough to to take it as a "positive", which it is because it's meant to help you build what you started and to steer you in a better direction.
Would you be less worried if someone said it was garbage and should never be made into a film? I mean, that would certainly be blatantly untrue, but at least it's negative.
Seriously, your second draft is vastly improved. It feels better. It flows better. You're on a good path!
The only thing that didn't flow quite as well, for me, in the second draft is in the fight scene. They're beating the creature, then suddenly having a conversation about "you sneak up behind him...". There's no break in the action here, and that's a conversation that I wouldn't think would take place mid-fight and in front of the adversary. Does that make sense?
Side note: "This.isn't.working." I dig that line. It's funny. I hear him saying that with each impact of the frying pan. That's a method of beat writing that has evolved in Internet and text speak and isn't correct outside of that, but it's a simple fix: "This. Isn't. Working." (You could also use ellipses: ...)
