oh yeah, I did misread that. I have to get past his difficult to read prose. I'm looking at it more from a writer/director/producer perspective. A person wearing all the hats.
But my advice works the same as far as creativity in general. I could replace the directors with writers names. If you take t he word "directing" and replace it with "creative vision" it still holds up. For the case of a writer "pacing, and story" are still important.
I might want to discuss content, themes, and subtext, but I'd have to know more about his story.
The idea of a professor who has a sister who has returned from travels abroad is interesting. I would want to know more about the characters. What is the age difference? I think what Nobody should do in this case is take each character and write an outline about who they are and what their motivations are. Almost like a dating profile. Then take what has been built up in these dossiers and apply the plot to them. I would like to know more beats in the plot. It sounds like the story is merely an intro. It needs to have more to go anywhere. What situations do they find themselves in?
There is a film called Only Lovers Left Alive. The story in the film revolves around two vampires. Somewhere during the story a sister unexpectedly arrives. This arrival drives the story. This could be helpful to watch for some structural inspiration. It is a very small production. If I remember correctly, it mostly takes place in a single room. It somewhat reminds me of a stage play.
