Thank You IndieTalk

[Birdman]

IndieTalk Screenplay Forum Posters:

The time has come for me to offer my sincere thanks to the many posters who have helped me create my Screenplay over the past six months.

I want to personally thank the following posters for their many follow-up posts and thoughtful insight. If I have missed anyone it was not on purpose:

Trueindie
Inarius
Mad_hatter
sweetie
ChimpPhobiaFilm
sfoster
richy
NickClapper
time2focus
victirtiti89
Will_Vincent
DIY

I also want to offer a SPECIAL thanks to the following posters who took the extra time to offer incredibly smart and thoughtful responses. Some of these responses were brilliant and could have commanded thousands of dollars in consulting fees. Many times I was left amazed by the amount of time and reasoning worded within their posts:

directorrik
rayw
FantasySciFi
IndiePaul
maz
ChimpPhobiaFilm

...Yes, ...even you, Rayw!


I know I have been an overly-emotional "pain in the ass" on a lot of issues, but it was all in a quest to have my screenplay the very best I could possibly make it. I challenged all of you on many complex issues that commonly haunt the Spec Script writer and many of you took a great deal of time out of your busy lives to offer very in-depth, well-orchestrated responses.

Much of the information on writing a screenplay can be found using Google searches ....but you can't really get to the meat of it unless you ask the people who are actively writing screenplays (and are maybe suffering the same questions that I have been suffering).

True, this is a very ego-saturated arena, and tempers are easily flared, but I want you all to know that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY I could have created my screenplay without all of your input and direction. I know these forums are "anonymous" by nature and many of you wonder if the shit you write is ever really appreciated (or utilized), well, I can HONESTLY say that your input was truly invaluable to me.

SUMMARY:

I now have a 100% completed, full-length feature film Science Fiction screenplay! It has taken six months to complete and has turned out to be the most complex, heart-wrenching, 117-page artistic endeavor I have ever attempted.

...AND I LOVE EVERY SINGLE PAGE OF IT!

I cannot believe my mind has orchestrated all of these scenes, characters and dialogue into an organized, cohesive story that I can sit down and read ...and actually LOVE!!

I took a frail, meaningless, beat-up female Science officer from another world who was left shattered and broken on a hardwood floor ...and within 117 pages I made her the Queen of the universe with her Giuseppe Zanotti gladiator stilettos firmly planted at the top of the food chain.

I read this script in my mind from FADE IN to FADE OUT every single day and I never get bored with it!

Lastly:

I may not win any awards, and as rayw clearly illustrates, will probably never see it made into a movie, ...but this movie shows on the big screen of my heart every single day. For six months I got to be God, creating people, worlds and happenings, controlling their fate, guiding their actions ...and ultimately offering a sense of Hope that we all search for every day of "real" life. .......It has been one truly great experience for me!

I thank each and every one of you!

-Birdman

 

[Birdman]

Let's plan for the worst. Let's say it wins some prizes and some acclaim but people think it's too risky to fund. What are your plans then?

What are the possibilities with your script?

As much as I love my story and my characters, I have to be a realist. There were three posters here on IndieTalk who formed the triad of "why" I now have this script in hand.

(1) IndiePaul.

IndiePaul represented the voice of "Hope". He was one of the very FEW posters that felt there was at the very least a "chance" that someone's spec script could be made into an actual movie. He posted links to people who had actually pulled it off and was quick to debate anyone who said otherwise. IndiePaul prevented me from just giving up and working on something else.

(2) Rayw.

Love him or hate him, Rayw represented the voice of logic and reason. He was the "Anti-IndiePaul". Rayw posted all kinds of links to how remote the possibilities are that any of us will ever see one of our screenplays come to life. As much as I fought with him, his links, stats and facts are unarguable. Since I am one who always concedes to what is "verifiable" I have to give Rayw his respect.

(3) Directorik.

Directorick was the go-between regarding IndiePaul and Rayw. He was the very first poster to ever respond to my first IndieTalk forum thread and has been spot-on ever since. I questioned his Avatar, his credentials and his "Guru" status and also questioned his supposed "lives in Hollywood" claim on his profile. However, a person's words speak volumes at to the whether they are the real deal or not. Based on everything Directorik posted, I could clearly see that he "knows the business" and really IS involved deeply in this industry.

Directorik's philosophy is (and I hope I have this correct) that you CAN be successful as a Spec Script writer. It will be damned hard, the odds are extremely tough and it is a brutal business ....but if you connect with the right people and your screenplay has a story that will "turn heads", then you have a shot at fame and fortune.


...So I have done everything I can up to this point to further my script. IndiePaul offers "Hope". Rayw offers a "Reality Check" and Directorik offers the Hollywood business concept that "the truth lies somewhere in between".

My story is based on my beautiful Alien lead female character being drawn to the surface of a strange planet by a thought-to-be-extinct flower called a "Vaxalon". It translates to "Hand of God" in her language. It plagues her life with disaster and misfortune along the way. She doesn't know it, but this flower is actually guiding her to a point in her life that she never dreamed possible, guarding her every move.

I guess I'm living out the exact same experience with my Screenplay. I found this "Script" (thought to be extinct) floating around inside my head. It's plagued my life for the last six months ....and It's now in the "Hand of God" as to what will happen to it.

-Birdman

 

[rayw]

Rik
Paul →

← Ray​

Best wishes with the competitions!

 

[IndiePaul]

Dialogue is very tough to do well.

Here's a relevant quote from one of our articles on the topic:

Screen dialogue is different from real-life dialogue
Real-life dialogue is often uninteresting and rarely engaging for an outsider, it frequently also contains a lot of unnecessary padding, small talk and the like.

Screen dialogue has to be different - you can't bore your prodco reader (you want to sell your script right?) or your movie audience.

Screen dialogue needs to be tight, interesting, engaging whilst also being realistic and authentic (to a character's life experience, job/career, back story etc).

Each character needs to speak with their own distinct voice.

It is often conflict laden or has undercurrents of drama or conflict - which keeps the reader engaged with the story.

How to Write Great Dialogue
http://reelauthors.com/script-analysis-coverage/how-to-write-great-dialogue.php

Lots of posters provided good comments in this tread. If they're not useful to Birdman - hopefully others will pick up and use.

Birdman has a hell of a lot of passion regarding his project. I think at times he is far too subjective about it and not objective. Anyway, it's his life, his time and his call.

We would all be very happy for an ITer to sell a spec for big bucks (Birdman? etc), or direct a script they have written and have it sell for a nice sum (Rayw/Directorik? etc).

 

[Birdman]

Birdman has a hell of a lot of passion regarding his project. I think at times he is far too subjective about it and not objective. Anyway, it's his life, his time and his call.
.

Ya gotta love it when you get a "Fair" rating on storyline, pace, character arc, fundamentals, drama and conflict, Act I, Act II, Act III, Climax, and Final Scene ....with absolutely no explanation as to why. ...All that really leaves is "subjectivity" if you think about it.

The truth is I've taken probably 80% of all of the advice I've been given in these many posts (and in my script review), ...however, there is a certain amount of feedback one gets (20%) that is solely based on someone else's "subjective" view. Just as one must be "objective" in receiving advice, In order for someone to offer good advice they must be equally "objective".

If someone is offering you advice/criticism on your screenplay, and their advice is pre-determined on the way THEY want the storyline to be written ...can you honestly say that is "objective"?

If you're writing "Kill Bill" and the person critiquing your screenplay wants "The Last Samurai", in all honesty, ...how "objective" do you think this person's advice will end up being?

-Birdman

 

[Inarius]

Birdman, about the dialogue you posted on the previous page... If you're using such "real time" talking in your screenplay, then I understand why your screenplay was over 300 pages.

You know, actors can expand those dialogues. Where there are 5-6 lines, actors can have a fast paced conversation of 20 lines, which will take 30 seconds on screen, but 2-3 pages of script.

By the way, suppose you write about a married couple... you know... sometimes husband and wife understand each other without words.

 

[Birdman]

Birdman, about the dialogue you posted on the previous page... If you're using such "real time" talking in your screenplay, then I understand why your screenplay was over 300 pages.

You know, actors can expand those dialogues. Where there are 5-6 lines, actors can have a fast paced conversation of 20 lines, which will take 30 seconds on screen, but 2-3 pages of script.

"Real Time" dialogue? ....I'm going to steal a quote from Colonel Jessup in "A Few Good Men":

JESSUP
"Is there another kind?"

My finished product ended up being 117 pages long. 360 was it's high point (Rivaling "Jesus of Nazareth"). I just wrote everything I could think of and sorted it all out later. I have a good mix of white and black space throughout the script, so it's your basic "Under two-hour movie".

[By the way, suppose you write about a married couple... you know... sometimes husband and wife understand each other without words.

...and sometimes the wife can come up with a whole list of new words you never knew existed.

-Birdman