Thank You IndieTalk

[Birdman]

IndieTalk Screenplay Forum Posters:

The time has come for me to offer my sincere thanks to the many posters who have helped me create my Screenplay over the past six months.

I want to personally thank the following posters for their many follow-up posts and thoughtful insight. If I have missed anyone it was not on purpose:

Trueindie
Inarius
Mad_hatter
sweetie
ChimpPhobiaFilm
sfoster
richy
NickClapper
time2focus
victirtiti89
Will_Vincent
DIY

I also want to offer a SPECIAL thanks to the following posters who took the extra time to offer incredibly smart and thoughtful responses. Some of these responses were brilliant and could have commanded thousands of dollars in consulting fees. Many times I was left amazed by the amount of time and reasoning worded within their posts:

directorrik
rayw
FantasySciFi
IndiePaul
maz
ChimpPhobiaFilm

...Yes, ...even you, Rayw!


I know I have been an overly-emotional "pain in the ass" on a lot of issues, but it was all in a quest to have my screenplay the very best I could possibly make it. I challenged all of you on many complex issues that commonly haunt the Spec Script writer and many of you took a great deal of time out of your busy lives to offer very in-depth, well-orchestrated responses.

Much of the information on writing a screenplay can be found using Google searches ....but you can't really get to the meat of it unless you ask the people who are actively writing screenplays (and are maybe suffering the same questions that I have been suffering).

True, this is a very ego-saturated arena, and tempers are easily flared, but I want you all to know that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY I could have created my screenplay without all of your input and direction. I know these forums are "anonymous" by nature and many of you wonder if the shit you write is ever really appreciated (or utilized), well, I can HONESTLY say that your input was truly invaluable to me.

SUMMARY:

I now have a 100% completed, full-length feature film Science Fiction screenplay! It has taken six months to complete and has turned out to be the most complex, heart-wrenching, 117-page artistic endeavor I have ever attempted.

...AND I LOVE EVERY SINGLE PAGE OF IT!

I cannot believe my mind has orchestrated all of these scenes, characters and dialogue into an organized, cohesive story that I can sit down and read ...and actually LOVE!!

I took a frail, meaningless, beat-up female Science officer from another world who was left shattered and broken on a hardwood floor ...and within 117 pages I made her the Queen of the universe with her Giuseppe Zanotti gladiator stilettos firmly planted at the top of the food chain.

I read this script in my mind from FADE IN to FADE OUT every single day and I never get bored with it!

Lastly:

I may not win any awards, and as rayw clearly illustrates, will probably never see it made into a movie, ...but this movie shows on the big screen of my heart every single day. For six months I got to be God, creating people, worlds and happenings, controlling their fate, guiding their actions ...and ultimately offering a sense of Hope that we all search for every day of "real" life. .......It has been one truly great experience for me!

I thank each and every one of you!

-Birdman

 

[mad_hatter]

Birdman, this is also the exact sort of reply I’d already anticipated you’d give (although, I must say, I’m quite surprised you didn’t challenge me to post 5 pages of my work).

Hatter, I already anticipated you would make a "percentage" argument in favor of using caps, so what I will do as soon as I get home is get you five solid links that say "use caps" and five solid links that say "don't use caps". It will be a complete waste of time for me, but some people refuse to see the point.

Let’s be clear, I only made a percentage argument, as this is what you’ve based your whole argument on. You said 50%. I say, no; 20% (at the very most). And that’s based on your findings, not mine. And, no, solid links would not be a waste of time. It would be very useful to give people like myself something to think about.

Your job, Mr. hatter, is to surf the internet and find as many links as you possibly can that show the sentence, "Their going to the store." Is perfectly acceptable. I'll even accept 20% of them if you can find them.

In your very next follow-up post I want to see where there is division in the writers community as to the use of the word "Their".

Is this a trick question? Come on… It is, isn’t it? You don’t actually think there are people out there who believe that “their” is interchangeable with “they’re”, do you? Surely, you don’t actually consider these two issues to be even remotely similar?

(You know, if you Google “their going to the store”, the third result it finds is one of your posts!)

P.s. My wife has as Masters in Education. She said the default structure is the one I used in my script.

Yet you chose to disregard her advice and changed your script to please an anonymous forum user? Shame on you…

 

[Birdman]

And are you seriously suggesting that the only reason you changed from the way that you believe was perfectly correct and acceptable, was to goad a stranger on an internet forum into posting their own work? If that's true, that's just daftk”?

... Is that your "personal opinion" or "constructive criticism"?

Have you ever heard the term “the pot calling the kettle black”?

....only ONE person in this debate has made the argument that both ways are acceptable and provided links as proof. You, by your own admission, sees 20% of the populous agreeing with me, and because I say Maz's way is just as valid as mine ...how does that make me "calling the kettle black?"

BTW: that phrase is cliché.

 

[Birdman]

Birdman, this is also the exact sort of reply I’d already anticipated you’d give (although, I must say, I’m quite surprised you didn’t challenge me to post 5 pages of my work).




Let’s be clear, I only made a percentage argument, as this is what you’ve based your whole argument on. You said 50%. I say, no; 20% (at the very most). And that’s based on your findings, not mine. And, no, solid links would not be a waste of time. It would be very useful to give people like myself something to think about.




Is this a trick question? Come on… It is, isn’t it? You don’t actually think there are people out there who believe that “their” is interchangeable with “they’re”, do you? Surely, you don’t actually consider these two issues to be even remotely similar?

(You know, if you Google “their going to the store”, the third result it finds is one of your posts!)




Yet you chose to disregard her advice and changed your script to please an anonymous forum user? Shame on you…

Wow! You have absolutely no idea the point I'm making with the word "their" do ya? Based on that, I should probably go back and cap all of my "Honey" words!

Too funny!
-Birdman

P.s. If you can't figure out my point, then there (or their) is no point in going on with it.

 

[mad_hatter]

No, I really don’t.

The question you posed to me, makes it sound as though you believe that there is some group of people who would consider the use of “their” in place of “there” to be acceptable. I promise you, there’s not.

Could you please explain your point, instead of posing it as an impossible task?

 

[rayw]

Anyways...

So, BMan...
What's the screenplay doing now? Where's it going?
Are you shopping it around for an agent to rep it to studios or what?

 

[maz]

All you're really doing is offering your "personal opinion". Unfortunately you are one of those people who feels their personal opinion is more valuable than others.

-Birdman

Birdman, one thing I will say for you is that you are definitely passionate!

Go back and read my posts. There are matters of English usage, where I adhere quite rigidly (I have worked as a prose editor and proofreader for fifteen years) to the most generally accepted rules (such as not using commas in the place of quote marks or not capitalising generic vocatives).

Then there are matters of style (such as cliches and tropes) where I make it clear that it's a personal opinion, but that if I'm bothered by it there is a fair chance other people may be (and those people may have the power actually to 'ping' your script).

However, I also said that the 'naive alien' cliche/trope is sometimes used in a fresh, original way, but too often it's a crutch in place of proper character development. Having not read your script, I have no idea which applies, so the only reason I mentioned it was so that you might be aware of it.

In my previous advice to you, I (and rayw and others) was quite consistent in my replies that the minor formatting/style issues (addresses on title page etc) are unlikely to be a major problem. Having a cliche/trope as a potentially major part of a principal character arc does not fit into this category - it is a possible narrative and structural issue rather than formatting. For this reason, my friendly advice without seeing all the script was: just be aware of it, and seek opinions on it from people who have read the whole script.

Peace out. Good luck, Birdman.

 

[FantasySciFi]

I've tossed this around in my head for several days now. I'm not sure if posting anything in a public form is a very smart idea ...but I DO owe a little pay back to the people who have dedicated their time in helping. Here's what I have:
(2) I'm also providing a small section of the script just for fun. This is a section where she is first expressing interest in "weaponry". She's also struggling to understand human thinking and why we do the crazy things that we do.
Thanks again to everyone for all of your help!
-Birdman

First, I think any forum should have common courtesy as a ground rule. And in this case, I don't see anywhere in this initial sharing that Birdman invited critique. Especially since he's made it clear he's satisfied and wants to send it off. The segment he shared is one he's particularly proud of.

It discourages lurkers from sharing or posting if they expect they'll be ripped asunder. If a poster asks for feedback, I have three options. If it's really bad or not to my taste, I will ignore it and move on. If it is something simple that another poster has addressed, unless there is something to add, I move on. If it is something where I think I can help, I'll share.

In this case, Birdman was sharing his "baby pictures" and people tell him his kid's too fat, too slow, etc. In situations where you are not asked for a critique, the proper response is "That's really cool. Good luck with your project." I get the sense that Birdman's script is in the vein of "Grindhouse", "Barbarian Queen" and similar movies. ModernDayMyth developed an interesting Amazon-based series. While story is important, sometimes explosions, cool vehicles, the stereotypic characters and eye candy are the driving points of the movie. That seems to be true with the spate of comic book movies which are now bringing in more female action heroes for the guys.

I've not read his script but even if I did, my first thought would not be to start tearing it apart on a "Thank You" thread. If you have thoughts, you might ask if they want feedback before launching in or share them in a private message. Birdman is a big boy and clearly can handle himself. However for the forum guests, I think it reinforces the idea that to post a script here is deemed as permission to lock, load and fire. Just my thoughts.

 

[maz]

However for the forum guests, I think it reinforces the idea that to post a script here is deemed as permission to lock, load and fire. Just my thoughts.

Your post makes a fair point, and I was wary about it, but the thread was about help he's received on here. I'm intrigued though. Which part of this do you define as "tearing it apart" or "lock, load and fire"?

Nice stuff, Birdman. I love the pic and the idea behind it, as long as you don't have it blown up to lifesize and in your room with you while you sleep

The script excerpt was decent too, although that whole "is this what you humans call love?" alien cliche tends to grate on me a bit when it's played straight like here. Still well written enough (loved the Scarface callout) and the dialogue is nice.

A couple of things I picked up on:
- the line "it's called, taunting, Honey"... I would say that it would be better done as "it's called 'taunting', honey". Quote marks around 'taunting' (although in context it would work with no punctuation at all), and no capital for Honey (unless it's his actual name for her rather than just a generic pet name?) The same thing applies to 'Baby' later on (I notice you declined to capitalise the vocative "li'l' girl" or "girl" elsewhere).

- have you kept an eye on the pet name vocatives by William? They seem to be very frequent, and it does seem a little repetitive.

- if the alien is being ultra-precise about things, I'm not sure she would describe a car as "rotary transportation". "Rotary" implies the whole thing spins around an axis.

Would love to read more!

 

[FantasySciFi]

Nice stuff, Birdman. I love the pic and the idea behind it, as long as you don't have it blown up to lifesize and in your room with you while you sleep

The script excerpt was decent too, although that whole "is this what you humans call love?" alien cliche tends to grate on me a bit when it's played straight like here. Still well written enough (loved the Scarface callout) and the dialogue is nice. ... Would love to read more!

If you had stopped here, that would have been cool. It was a snapshot. All he wanted was acknowledgement. He's a proud parent.

It's the subsequent posts with pointedly charged words:

Just to be clear, the reference to "is this what humans..." had nothing to do with actual love, but more to do with the cliche of supposedly humorous/touching alien naivety in the face of the mundane and commonplace. It can be used effectively, but usually it isn't.

OK, fair enough, you've obviously done your research. I disagree vehemently on the pet names

My only issue was that his dialogue becomes very (almost self-consciously) quirky as a result. ...

I can see the advantage for brevity, but it grates because it is (based on these five pages) inconsistent for a character who is ...

... and the fact that I'm bored with it says nothing at all about 'the industry'

There is a difference though between a character and a caricature. ... but I don't think a well-written character should be overwritten, and I think all the (deliberately, on your part) patronising vocatives are just that. Five or six in four pages? In my opinion, it's too much.

Again, ... I think it's a glaring inconsistency (as it's inaccurate) but you disagree. I'm not saying you're wrong about it, just that I'm another pair of eyes and it immediately stuck out to me as an issue. ...

I read the first sentence of your reply, where you smugly tried to shoot down my examples with a counter-argument I had already made and decided it was not worth reading any more. I've encountered people like you when working with novel authors, and there is a point where an honest attempt to help meets a perfect storm of arrogance and insecurity, and it is rarely profitable to take it any further.

This small snapshot of comments come across as sniping and goading. You may perceive it as helpful advice but there is a time to simply say nothing. An honest attempt to do what? He didn't invite comment. Being proud of one's work is not smug, arrogant or insecure. Anymore than being helpful by telling him all the perceived failings should be seen as unduly critical. While your points may be valid, in this situation, it would have been better to send a private message. Or, as others have done on this forum, sometimes the best action is simply not take the 'bait'. You thank a poster for their opinion and move along.

 

[Birdman]

FantasySciFi,

Well, I certainly thank you for chiming in on this. I will say that I expected people's personal opinions on what I have posted as this is merely human nature.

Had I posted "Their going to the store" in one of my lines of dialogue and someone chimed in with, "Hey, Birdman, that should be They're and not Their". that person would have been 100% correct. Not 50% correct. Not 40% correct. Not even 2.3% correct. They would have been 100% correct and I would be a fool as to not immediately correct it.

In fact I would have been GRATEFUL that someone caught such a blaring mistake.

However, there are many aspects of writing, structure and screenplay formatting that are NOT a "Settled Science". How to use the word "Their" vs. "They're" is a 100% settled science. There is no internet site I can highlight that would ever say otherwise.

What I don't like is when there is a "division of opinions" on how to properly use formatting (or wording) in a screenplay. Here are examples:

(1) What should go on a Title Page.

(2) How to handle "alien language" with subtitles.

(3) How to format a character watching TV.

...and in this last case:

(4) Capping or NOT capping the first letter of a pet name.

...In all of the above cases, there are vast differences of opinions on what the "proper" formatting method actually is. It is TRULY UNFAIR to hold a screenplay writer accountable to one side or another if there is not a "Settled Science" regarding this issues.

Maz feels "vehemently opposed" to using caps for pet names. If I look up the definition of "vehemently" we get:

"showing strong and often angry feelings : very emotional"

If Maz were a Script Analyst and was reading my script, he would be "emotionally angered" at my use of caps on pet names. ...Now he dangles my script over the waste basket by a few rigid fingertips.

So let's say I change them all to lower-case...

Now there's a Script Analyst out there named Zam. Zam feels "vehemently opposed" to anyone NOT capping the first letter of a pet name. He sees I have them all lower-case ...Now he dangles my script over the waste basket by a few rigid fingertips.

A screenplay writer should NEVER be placed in a situation like this. It is not fair and it ultimately leads to potential blockbuster scripts being pinged because of someone's "personal formatting opinions".


...I really do wish there was a consensus on how we scriptwriters are supposed to format things. It should NOT be this way at all!

-Birdman

 

[Birdman]

Then there are matters of style (such as cliches and tropes) where I make it clear that it's a personal opinion, but that if I'm bothered by it there is a fair chance other people may be (and those people may have the power actually to 'ping' your script).

However, I also said that the 'naive alien' cliche/trope is sometimes used in a fresh, original way, but too often it's a crutch in place of proper character development. Having not read your script, I have no idea which applies, so the only reason I mentioned it was so that you might be aware of it.

In my previous advice to you, I (and rayw and others) was quite consistent in my replies that the minor formatting/style issues (addresses on title page etc) are unlikely to be a major problem. Having a cliche/trope as a potentially major part of a principal character arc does not fit into this category - it is a possible narrative and structural issue rather than formatting. For this reason, my friendly advice without seeing all the script was: just be aware of it, and seek opinions on it from people who have read the whole script.

Peace out. Good luck, Birdman.

...I'm designing an all-new thread regarding the supposed, "Naïve Alien" cliché. Because in actuality, they aren't naïve at all. I will dig down to the bones on a possible reason why you and others may feel this way about a specific character type exploring human interaction ...and why you don't necessarily like it.

It will NOT be what you are expecting.

BTW: FSF is correct. My alien is an ass-kicking hellion who kicks some serious intergalactic ass. She starts out as a peace-loving pacifist who deplores all forms of violence and ends up learning everything about kicking ass from planet Earth and wreaks havoc throughout the Universe.

I challenge you to find an example of this being "cliché".

Also, had she come here and spread peace and love, (like we would expect a higher level of being to do), then yeah, ...maybe that would be a little "cliché".

But your predetermination of the alien "cliché" is not based on that. It's based on something entirely different. And I will fully explain that in another thread.

-Birdman

 

[maz]

If you had stopped here, that would have been cool. It was a snapshot. All he wanted was acknowledgement. He's a proud parent.

It's the subsequent posts with pointedly charged words:



This small snapshot of comments come across as sniping and goading. You may perceive it as helpful advice but there is a time to simply say nothing. An honest attempt to do what? He didn't invite comment. Being proud of one's work is not smug, arrogant or insecure. Anymore than being helpful by telling him all the perceived failings should be seen as unduly critical. While your points may be valid, in this situation, it would have been better to send a private message. Or, as others have done on this forum, sometimes the best action is simply not take the 'bait'. You thank a poster for their opinion and move along.

Oh come on, now. That's not fair. If you were being fair and even-handed, you would say Birdman should have reacted to my friendly first comment by saying "Thanks for the advice. I don't agree, but your feedback is welcome even if I didn't ask for it." I wasn't asking for a debate, I just highlighted a few minor things to maybe fix, and a single bigger thing that may or may not turn out to be a problem.

Birdman started the debate. How about you highlight his completely disproportionate, aggressive, arrogant responses to provide some context for the mild change in tone (though still friendly) in my subsequent posts? A forum is not the best intermediary, but I think it's clear from the quotes that I was having a friendly discussion; I have no idea what he was doing. Only in the third post you quoted did I lose my patience, but after having friendly comments shouted down in such an unnecessarily aggressive manner (and clearly having not read the posts either, or else why attack me with a counter-argument I had already made?) I was merely attempting to take my leave.

And that's without even addressing the assertion that me saying "I'm not saying you're wrong about it" is somehow sniping or goading...

Suffice it to say, I'm done here now. I concede the debate I never even wanted to have, Birdman. And I'm sure your screenplay is perfect and needs no suggestions, and is that rarest of things, an artistic endeavour that does not benefit from the feedback of multiple people.

Carry on, and I look forward to seeing it in a cinema near me. Peace out.

 

[trueindie]

I'm not sure if you can feel my ambivalence about writing this post. I was really resisting, but I had to do it.

I think Maz' input was highly commendable. It was detailed, helpful and was merely suggesting changes. Fantasy, I think you're being more than a bit unfair to Maz. So far I think Maz has been as polite as only a Brit can be .

Now while I love Birdman's "passion," as Maz puts it, and I believe it is passion, Birdman, you have this penchant for latching on to stuff that's not germane to the questions you ask. So he mentioned a "naive alien" or "alien naivete" or whatever, and you start explaining how the situation cannot be cliched as there are no instances of naive aliens and you're about to start another thread, or something to that effect. I mean c'mon. He was trying to make a point about the naivete of a "character." That was his point. And instead of seeing that point, you start arguing about specifics that blind you to his point. I don't get it. You don't have to agree with his point. Or if you agree and it was deliberate, then say "yeah, I want a naive character."

Maz seems to be a real professional, almost it seems, to the point where he is too qualified. But just because he used the word "vehement" and you looked up vehement, doesn't mean he is going to dangle your script over the waste basket. Also, I'd suggest you look up the word "vehement" again. The only time vehemence is used to qualify anger is when rancor is involved, otherwise it's generally used to illustrate passion, which is what I believe Maz was doing. No person with half a brain, is going to dismiss your brilliant story because of grammatical errors, or because you have your address written somewhere.

I noticed you used (cont'd) in your script. I had a writing instructor who was so passionately opposed to the use of (cont'd) he spent half a class on the topic, and I was seething in my seat wondering what the hell it had to do with the art of storytelling. And then I realized "Oh,... of course this motherf***er is worried about (cont'd), because if he wasn't, he would actually have sold a godd*mned script, and not have to teach for a living."

Birdman, read what Maz wrote again. He didn't write ONE thing that he said you MUST do. He was merely suggesting and expressing his personal views. I personally maybe passionately opposed to the use of "try and," only because if you didn't use "try to" in your SAT II, you got an error. But I read about it later and found that "try and" is not incorrect grammar either and has been used for hundreds of years. And guess what, the other day, I heard Spiderman say it, and Peter Parker is supposed to be a godd*mned genius. My point is, dude, buddy, I liked the general tone of your story. It sounds like fun. Make it fun. Keep it fun. Nobody will throw it in the waste bin because of a spelling mistake or incorrect capitalization. Pay attention to those things, of course, but man c'mon, let's get back to talking about what your're going to do with your story as Ray asked, now that it's complete. Let's talk about that.

And you should calm down, and realize that Maz was really trying to help, in a good way. And man there are so many filmmakers who like to put you in your place as they give you advice. I don't know what the hell you're going to do when you meet those guys

Best of luck Birdman.
Aveek

 

[Birdman]

Truindie,

Maz may seem very professional to you. He does do me, too. Sounds like you two are "Buds" and that's fine. Truth is that you are both faceless icons on an anonymous forum. I can only go by the words that you write.

My wife IS a "professional". English and Literature is her profession. She has a Masters Dregree in Education from Morehead State University with a 4.0 average. She is an honorary member of "phi kappa phi" because she graduated in the top 5% of her class. She also has two separate bachelor degrees in education. She teaches professionally and has taught at college level.

She does not agree with Maz.

What you are calling "friendly suggestions" by Maz were not really what you say. They were "absolutes". He later walks them back as being "suggestions" ...but he VEHEMENTLY feels the way that he does because he is not willing to consider anyone else's opinion on the matter.

Here are excerpts from Maz's original response to my post:

although that whole "is this what you humans call love?" alien cliche tends to grate on me a bit when it's played straight like here.


...and no capital for Honey (unless it's his actual name for her rather than just a generic pet name?) The same thing applies to 'Baby' later on (I notice you declined to capitalise the vocative "li'l' girl" or "girl" elsewhere).

- have you kept an eye on the pet name vocatives by William? They seem to be very frequent, and it does seem a little repetitive.

- if the alien is being ultra-precise about things, I'm not sure she would describe a car as "rotary transportation". "Rotary" implies the whole thing spins around an axis.

These are all his "opinion".

I followed up with a post explain why I did the things I did ...but that wasn't good enough for Maz. It was time for hime to me more "direct" ...vehemently direct! almost "grating":

Just to be clear, the reference to "is this what humans..." had nothing to do with actual love, but more to do with the cliche of supposedly humorous/touching alien naivety in the face of the mundane and commonplace. It can be used effectively, but usually it isn't.

I disagree vehemently on the pet names - they're not really standing for someone's name in the same way as, say, Captain or Sergeant; and at the same time they're not specific enough to be a nickname.


I don't have a problem with chauvinistic, patronising characters per se - as you rightly say, they are very common. My only issue was that his dialogue becomes very (almost self-consciously) quirky as a result. There are something like five diminutive pet names in four pages of script? It runs the risk of appearing more like a sketch where someone is trying to lampoon the kind of character you want William to actually be, rather than an actually well drawn character. Just a thought, and obviously I haven't read the rest of the script.


I can see the advantage for brevity, but it grates because it is (based on these five pages) inconsistent for a character who is so precise in her language use to be imprecise on this one occasion. I'm not sure why "wheeled transportation", which is more accurate and even briefer syllabically, should not be a suitable alternative

From this point on it became a battle of Maz's purported 'credibility" with the English language vs. what I have found (and posted as proof) on the internet ...along with my wife's 100% documented credibility.

So yeah, you can go right ahead and feel the way you do about Maz. I think he's a very smart guy! At the same time I don't think he's willing to entertain the possibility that he MAY be wrong on certain issues. As for me, my argument all along has been the same. There IS NO STANDARD that one can go by.

That makes me neither wrong nor right.

-Birdman

 

[trueindie]

Birdman,
I am not buds with Maz
I have no idea who he is
this is the first thread where Maz is heavily involved that I've ever followed.
I'm sure Maz doesn't know who the hell I am.

... Dude, I'm doubling over.... you are absolutely the best.

 

[Birdman]

Trueindie,

Last thought:

My wife and I had a "discussion" this morning before work. I was sitting on the couch with my laptop wanting to watch TV. She was in the back bedroom with the TV remote (which operates both TV's). Now, I'm pissed. I want the damned remote ...so I say,

INT.  LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Birdman sits on the couch with his laptop.  He searches frantically for
the remote.  He calls out to his wife in the far bedroom.

               BIRDMAN
Honey!

               BIRDMAN'S WIFE
What?

               BIRDMAN
Where's the remote?

               BIRDMAN'S WIFE
I've got it, Honey... sorry.

               BIRDMAN
I need it.

                BIRDMAN'S WIFE
Hang on a minute.


...A minute passes.


                BIRDMAN
Honey!

                 BIRDMAN'S WIFE
Hang on a second, Honey... okay?  Crap!

Birdman's wife walks half-naked into the living room
and tosses the remote.

                 BIRDMAN'S WIFE (CONT)
Here ya go.  Sorry.

                 BIRDMAN
Thanks, Hon.

Now, this conversation actually happened. This is a "True Life" instance. It's not me trying to develop some type of special character, it's just me and my wife working out the TV remote.

Between the two of use there were at least FIVE "Honey's" or "Hon's" bantered back and forth.

Are we grotesque characters?

Are we "unbelievable characters".

Are we characters lacking in refinement?

Are we "grating" or emulating "Caricatures" instead of "Characters"?

NO!

We are TWO LIVE HUMAN BEINGS!!

Now, if Maz was sitting on the couch with me (observing my half-naked wife) he would have whipped out his trusty calculator and informed me that I had five "pet names" in a two minute stretch of dialogue and that I was no longer a true living being. I had now become a grotesque "Caricature" of my formal self.


...Sometimes life doesn't fall into a math-specific formula. You can't whip out a calculator, formulate an equation and reach a conclusion based on "word volume" as to whether or not someone is fucking HUMAN!

-Birdman

 

[trueindie]

Trueindie,

Last thought:

My wife and I had a "discussion" this morning before work. I was sitting on the couch with my laptop wanting to watch TV. She was in the back bedroom with the TV remote (which operates both TV's). Now, I'm pissed. I want the damned remote ...so I say,

INT.  LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Birdman sits on the couch with his laptop.  He searches frantically for
the remote.  He calls out to his wife in the far bedroom.

               BIRDMAN
Honey!

               BIRDMAN'S WIFE
What?

               BIRDMAN
Where's the remote?

               BIRDMAN'S WIFE
I've got it, Honey... sorry.

               BIRDMAN
I need it.

                BIRDMAN'S WIFE
Hang on a minute.


...A minute passes.


                BIRDMAN
Honey!

                 BIRDMAN'S WIFE
Hang on a second, Honey... okay?  Crap!

Birdman's wife walks half-naked into the living room
and tosses the remote.

                 BIRDMAN'S WIFE (CONT)
Here ya go.  Sorry.

                 BIRDMAN
Thanks, Hon.

Now, this conversation actually happened. This is a "True Life" instance. It's not me trying to develop some type of special character, it's just me and my wife working out the TV remote.

Between the two of use there were at least FIVE "Honey's" or "Hon's" bantered back and forth.

Are we grotesque characters?

Are we "unbelievable characters".

Are we characters lacking in refinement?

Are we "grating" or emulating "Caricatures" instead of "Characters"?

NO!

We are TWO LIVE HUMAN BEINGS!!

Now, if Maz was sitting on the couch with me (observing my half-naked wife) he would have whipped out his trusty calculator and informed me that I had five "pet names" in a two minute stretch of dialogue and that I was no longer a true living being. I had now become a grotesque "Caricature" of my formal self.


...Sometimes life doesn't fall into a math-specific formula. You can't whip out a calculator, formulate an equation and reach a conclusion based on "word volume" as to whether or not someone is fucking HUMAN!

-Birdman

That was awesome by the way. Thanks for posting that exchange. Just fantastic.

Maz was saying that he was vehemently opposed. But he didn't say that you absolutely cannot do it. But just because he's vehemently opposed, also doesn't mean that he's going to dismiss your script based on how you chose to qualify your pet names.

Your passion Birdman, is truly, truly compelling

Now let's all be friends. And I seriously want to know what the hell it is you plan on doing with your script with all this passion.

 

[rayw]

Anyways...

So, BMan...
What's the screenplay doing now? Where's it going?
Are you shopping it around for an agent to rep it to studios or what?

Bump & back on task.

 

[Birdman]

Bump & back on task.

I have entered three contests so far. I'm going to enter a few more and call it a day. I've tried thinking up a new screenplay....and I got nothin'.

There is a screenplay contest that caters to a "Strong female Lead Character", but I'm not sure a once-peace-loving, now nunchuka-wielding, Beretta firing space babe who shoves a forty gigaton superbomb up the ass of the bad guys is really what they are looking for.

...Who knows?

-Birdman

 

[trueindie]

Let's plan for the worst. Let's say it wins some prizes and some acclaim but people think it's too risky to fund. What are your plans then?

What are the possibilities with your script?