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watch speechless: yfen contest

M

movieman1005

this is my submission for the 2009 yfen film contest with the theme of "free speech in school, does it Exist?"

comments and suggestions welcome.

was crazy when shooting, takes a lot of timeand effort, but ALWAYS worth it afterwards, don't you agree?

I have many prob. with it, esp. with long phone call in more beginning. also wish i wouldve used my mic. on scene with foosball (we didnt have time to set ip up and shoot before deadline)
I think pacing got better gradually, but had fun playing with composition, people who helped, and editing.

I played chris (i am chris bania), my friend is rob, his family was basically the extra crew when needed (int. from fellow student)

link to contest promo: http://ncac.org/2009-Youth-Free-Expression-Film-Contest

link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUKz51YJ2B0
 
You could probably tell the same story in about half the time. Your premise is a very basic one...not too much nuance, so you should remove everything that isn't directly related to that premise. The foosball isn't necessary, nor is the 2nd instance of watching TV. The OC interview question at the beginning sounded like it was made up as spoken; you would start your film much more strongly by having a much stronger voice read the question either off the written page or by having learned the line ahead of time.

On a side note, that you are able to make a film exploring this means that free speech probably DOES exist in school. Was this contest related to something specific that happened on campus? Or something specific that happened to you? If so, it is unclear from your story. Lots of students sit around their homes not talking to anyone, not answering the phone, watching TV and not talking to their friends, playing foosball, etc, and not because their 1st amendment rights have been violated. No, they sit around not doing anything because they are lazy students. It isn't entirely clear that this student has been silenced, if that's what you are trying to say. Instead he comes off as sort of a typical lazy student hungover on a Saturday.

Start with a concise story. If it's a message film, make your message clear before you begin.
 
How is our protagonist different/changed by the end? Nothing has happened.

(Also, your audio could have been improved greatly by using basic room tone)
 
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