Sometimes the grind gets to me!

Jeff Troiano

Jeff Troiano

This is a nothing thread. I just needed a place to vent frustration. I figured I'd do it here, and maybe someone will tell me to cheer up, or even shut whiner.

I run a business, worked 7 days last week (67 hours total). I worked 7 days because I had one employee out on vacation and someone called in sick. So I filled in for the sick person, as there wasn't anyone else to do it. I decided to schedule myself a little light next week, so I only had myself on the schedule for 49 hours. Well my boss didn't like that very much, and read me the riot act. Other then the owner of the business, I'm the boss,, and I take responsibility for the business I run. If someone calls out on my day off, Im working, no complaints. If the owner wants to play golf with the assistant manager, even if it means Ill have to work my 6th double in a row, I do it. I use to make a lot more money, and work far less hours, at my previous job. But that went away, and because of city regulations, I would have to move out of state to get back into the same field.

All th above whining aside, what frustrates me, is after I've worked all those hours, and I finally get some time off, I'm too f'ing tired to work on what I'm passionate about. I've assembled a bit of equipment, and always lusting after more, but haven't had time in the last 8 months to use it. I day dream about getting out and using my stills camera. Have a short, completely written in my head, but can't find the time to put it on paper, or storyboard it out. Blender has added some cool new features, but can't make myself get in front of my computer to learn how to use them. I want to find the time to volunteer on some productions, but don't have it. Lol....I'm even typing this while at work.

The sad thing is, 11 truck payments keep me from leaving my job, and seeking employement else where. My truck is the last remnant of my former job. It's a good vehicle, and once it's paid off, it will be a great vehicle. But if I had to go buy a truck today, no way could I take on the kind of payment I've had with this. Once it's gone, I'm looking for a career change. I'll be debt free, except for regular monthly bills, so I'll be able to work my way up from the bottom rung again.

Just wish I had more time to do what I love doing. Right now the bright spot in my day is coming on here, and reading about what other are up too, and watching what they post.

Thanks to all the great people who take the time to post!

Time to get back to work, and stop whining.

Jeff
 
How I understand you.... it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm still working. Been sleeping 4 hours a night for the last 2 months, I'm tired, I don't have vacacions since the summer of 2010. I work like a slave. I don't have time to do things I like to do... don't have time to be with the family. All of this to get paid around 700$ a month. Depressing.... something's got to change.
 
You're going to have good times and bad times and very frustrating times in between. My own business can be very spotty - I'll put in 50, 60, even 70 hour weeks for a month or two or three, then be playing with myself for a month or two afterwards. Well, not really, I spend lots of time looking for work to make myself busy again, doing maintenance and upgrades, experimenting with things, catching up on paperwork...

I bitch when I'm "too busy" (no such thing, really), bitch when I'm not busy, and complain the rest of the time. Lately I'm less busy than I would like.

So I can understand where you're coming from. But at least you're working; millions aren't. Sock away whatever money you can. Do what you can to stay healthy and maintain your sanity. Find a little time to get that script "on paper."

And if you think it's bad now wait until you have a wife, kids, a mortgage and all the rest. You're still young enough to pursue the dream without too much in the way of consequences; enjoy it while you can.
 
You plan on taking a vacation at some point?

'cos that might be the time you have to shoot something, until you get a job with more convenient hours.
 
I'm sorry for your troubles, Jeff. =(

Can you say what your current job is or what your previous job was?

Hang in there.
 
I wish I could say I worked in production, but that's not the case. I currently am the general manager of a restaurant. And my previous job I was the GM of an adult night club (strip club). When the owner of my previous job decided to sell and get out of the club business, I start doing what I'm going now, because I had bills to pay. I'm just hanging in there until May of next year, I'll be debt free, and free to try something else. Hoping some of the skills I've learned in this hobby of mine might get me a foot in the door at a production company. Then I'll work my way up from there.
 
Realistically, doing this for a living is pretty simple, but it's very hard. There's a sensibility when surviving without parents (or some other form of income that can be replenished without working) that you have to adapt if this is all you do. Or, you already have that sensibility and it's slightly easier.

Car notes, drinking, smoking (vices), eating expensive food, taking vacations, so on and so forth. Those things are what I see ultimately beating the desire out and turning people away from this. It's a tough choice to make, and some people actually don't have a choice (family, responsibilities, etc) which sucks. Me, personally, I've always lived on little so it's not a huge deal. Yeah it's pretty hard to only do this for a living... but, again, it's simple.

You either do what you have to do, or go and do what you may not want to do.

One of the best things that ever happened to me was being laid off a number of years back. I can't say that I was scared, but I really didn't know what to do after that. It pretty much presented me with a fork in the road: I could go and try to find a nine to five, or I could take the limited amount of time allotted by severance pay to start shooting.

I took door number two, and it was nerve-wrecking. But, even though I have no idea how I'm going to pay July's rent (I think I might have like thirty dollars left over after the first... slim eatin's!) I'm confidently saying that I could never go back to a nine to five unless it's strictly industry related.

One of the other great things was having most of my savings stolen after a shoot. That is, I paid cash for several cameras, a set of lenses, so on and so forth that pretty much tied up however much money I technically had and it was all stolen.

About ten to twelve thousand dollars swiped, and my bread and butter with it. That was the first time I had ever been really afraid of having to stop and look for something else to do. Took a few days to recover... but, when I did, the decision was pretty clear: shoot a feature, and stop relying on gear to get work.

Another hair-greying decision that I hope turns out for the better.

Anyway, I guess what I am saying is that if you really want to do something then you should just do it. I don't think many people die from just jumping headfirst into their passion. THey struggle, and they eat poorly, but that's just the trade-off.

I also realize you live in TN, so I'm not sure how the industry is there.
 
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Kholi said:
I also realize you live in TN, so I'm not sure how the industry is there.
Click to expand...


I'm actually considering a move to LA. Hoping the skills I learn, in this hobby of mine, will allow me to get my foot in the door someplace. My parents live in Phoenix, so wouldn't mind being a little closer to them, their not getting any younger. Plus I have a family connection, who I might be able to use, if I can show some skills worth showing him.
 
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