Silent Sirens

[nsandhoefner]

This is a short film I made which uses hand-drawn paper cut outs. It's about a young man contemplating the nature of interpersonal connection during a trip across London.

I hope you enjoy it, and I'm interested in hearing folks' reactions. Do the themes come across? Does it "work" in general? Are there spots that are unclear? Are there things I should be doing differently?

Thanks so much!

 

[James Rogers]

What I like about it is that you have something to say. The ideas are clear and easy to follow. As the storyteller, I could tell that this means something to you.

For better or worse, in today's world we are bombarded with images and sounds. Sensory overload is the norm. You took a very minimalist approach to your story telling. I feel like the simple black and white imaged were like listening to music with the volume turned way down. I had to struggle a little to stay interested. I also feel that the story could have been better told with more images; close ups and different angles. I understand why you cut to black to give people a chance to ponder what they just saw and to place emphasis on each preceding segment, but looking at it from the perspective of today's audiences, I think it was a bit much. Too much 'dead air'.

Good work!

 

[sfoster]

It's a really tough time for hand drawn artists, there is so much dazzling overabundance of AI paintings.
If I mute your video, and I just watch it without any sound (this is ONE method of analyzing a film) I don't find the art to be particularly evocative.

It's not bad but.. it's not making me feel anything either.
So therefore you have to really nail it on the audio for something like this to work visually...

Like if you had a voice cast or you were putting more into the performance, that would help..
Right now the way you're narrating is very sterile.

This totally not fair of me to compare you to andy serkis, that's a high bar, but hey you've gotta look up to the stars and aim high if you want to get better right?

Andy Serkis did an audio book for LOTR, here you can listen to some of his narrating and hear how much he puts into the performance

 

[JMathews]

This is a short film I made which uses hand-drawn paper cut outs. It's about a young man contemplating the nature of interpersonal connection during a trip across London.

I hope you enjoy it, and I'm interested in hearing folks' reactions. Do the themes come across? Does it "work" in general? Are there spots that are unclear? Are there things I should be doing differently?

Thanks so much!

I did enjoy the story. It felt like a mix between a documentary and a poem. If the themes were, "Silence sometimes speaks very loudly." then it worked for me. I could be wrong on this point but the typical journey of the protagonist, rising conflict and resolution wasn't really present. In a documentary the hero has a goal that the audience follows that goal to a conclusion. Without either of those structures your story starts to feel more like a lesson and less like a story.
Everything must have purpose. The themes and the use of a minimalist animation all speak to a protagonist that is looking for quiet in his/her life. That's where the story lies. I would have started with chaos and color and a distraught hero looking for something. As the protagonist found what they desired it become minimalist, peaceful and quiet. But that's just one take. Nice job on this one. I know that took a lot of time and effort. Hope to see more!!