I've written a first draft for a short screenplay to be produced by myself and friends. I let a friend read it, someone who knows a bit about screenwriting, and he didn't have much criticism. I know it can't be perfect, so i'd like to let a few other people read it and give a little feedback.
it's only 5 pages so its a quick read, if you have 15 minutes please check it out.
I already have an idea for a slightly different ending which i think will be better, but it couldnt hurt for you to read it as is.
one of the things i would specifically like your opinion on, is whether you think it will work as a silent. there is dialogue, i planned on putting up subtitles. this is more than just a practical solution to make production easier, i think it will aid the sense of isolation i am trying to convey, like even the audience isnt there.
if you are interested in checking it out, pm me your email and i will send a pdf. (i don't wish to make it too public)
thank you ahead of time!
it's only 5 pages so its a quick read, if you have 15 minutes please check it out.
I already have an idea for a slightly different ending which i think will be better, but it couldnt hurt for you to read it as is.
one of the things i would specifically like your opinion on, is whether you think it will work as a silent. there is dialogue, i planned on putting up subtitles. this is more than just a practical solution to make production easier, i think it will aid the sense of isolation i am trying to convey, like even the audience isnt there.
if you are interested in checking it out, pm me your email and i will send a pdf. (i don't wish to make it too public)
thank you ahead of time!
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